Name: Ang Pei San (A.P.S)
Many many things have happened.. as usual.
On 11dec.. went to 6f chalet. Pictures are in my facebook.
12 dec, went to my uncle's place for ah gong's stuff. Then rushed off to meet my mother. Fashion show. See my facebook for pictures.
13 dec to 16 dec.. church camp. well.. it was awesome. Shared till i cry. Zzz. Nvr mind nvr mind. Best camp ever. During the camp.. i finally remembered many ppl! (: This sec 1 junior called me a tom boy and made me laugh so much. Haha. Desmond encouraged me by saying stuff like: " You're really outgoing even with all of us.. guys. And.. you're a girl! " ... i laughed after hearing that.
17 dec.. today. Quarrelled with my mother. Well.. i'm practically doing that everyday now.. haiz. I'm pratically shouting everyday in the house and she is too. Hate it. Honour ur parents honour your parents.. haiz... ONE IS DEAD.. And the other? ... forget it. I'm trying. Gotta stop doing this to my mother and myself.
Anyway, yesterday when going home from camp.. this really cute little boy bang into me from behind. I smiled at him and asked he was okay. He smiled and gave a really adorable look. I don't know why... but that really cheered me up alot. Really cute boy. Lol. Oh yeah.. i didn't go to guitar lesson today.
Oh yeah.. I feel like i'm drifting apart from everyone. Am i? From everyone... and i mean everyone. From all my ncc friends.. juniors and my batch ppl... Classmates.. ogls... everyone... including Celine, Josh, Louisse, Maybelline, Nurul Mardiah etc etc....
I feel like i'm so occupied quarrelling with my mother now. Zzz.. I want that to stop. I pissed off with it. Every single damn day. EVERY SINGLE DAY!...
~End post~
There's no way out of this dark place..
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Right after that.. Josh kor smsed me and ask if ntuc need ppl. Zzz. I called mum.. and got scolded. Bullshit. She say i nothing better to do. Damn it, help friends got problem isit?... kns. Irritated. Zzz. Nvr mind. Tmr bringing Josh kor for interview. He is willing to work 24/7. And willing to work overtime. I think he's gonna earn more than L kor.. lol. BBQ later... wadever lah. ~End post~
Soledad by westlife
After this picture.. should know who the message goes out to already right? No, it's not the crazy Lele. Lol. If wanna cheer Xinle up, i'll just call her. Yes.. it's the dude in the picture. Well.. his post seems fine and happy i guess? So yeah. Yesterday.. i donno what happened.. but dude.. u didn't seem that happy at all. But i was glad u did reply though. Well.. like i said in the message.. You have people around you and some will nvr leave u.. ( yes.. it might be irritating but still.. :P ) Yeah. So.. chill.. smile.. enjoy life. Take care of yourself alright? Anything.. sms? Well.. it wouldn't be me.. but hey.. it doesn't matter already.. does it? Well, just talk about it bah. To whoever.. it doesn't matter. Don't over work urself alright? "Everyone leaves footprints in your memory, but the ones that leave footprints in your heart are the ones you will truly remember." First lesson.. HCL sux as usual. History.. okay bah. Physics, i was chionging english test. EL.. i was still chionging the test. Math.. die lah.. i don't understand at all. Assembly.. give me headache. Irritating beats. Wadever. Then kayaking~~ Ermm.. i missed literature common test cuz of it. Well.. kayaking was nice. Mr Azhar say results that time.. when saying mine.. he said: " 'PENG SAN'( isit correct? ) ah 'PENG SAN'! * i looked up* 'PENG SAN' ah 'PENG SAN' .. 42s! Fastest! " .. then i said orh... then poke cynthia with the sticks. Lol.. Fun sia. But what cynthia did was... not fun. Lol. And Calvin.. tsk tsk tsk. Lol. Oh yeah.. i didn't eat lunch.. felt like puking. See the food.. wanna puke le. Dinner also.. nvr eat. I see the food then i straight away say don't wanna eat. The food was actually nice.. but i didn't eat. Really felt like puking. Oh yeah.. reached home at 8 plus. Ermm.. in the end.. i forced 2 cakes down my throat. But.. puked everything out in the toilet before showering. Gross. The slice of cakes seems expensive. Heck. Cannot take it. Don't know what's wrong also. Recess time.. for like once.. i didn't finish my food. Lol. Yup, something is wrong. I just don't know what. Alright.. wadever.. i'm tired. I'm gonna go do my work. I think i'm gonna fall sick again. Who knows.. who cares. No one knows.. no one cares. So it doesn't matter. Done. Homework time.. chiong arh.. Zzz.. today 3am sleep again ah.... Zzz.... 5am wakey again ah... Zzz.. Die lah. ZZZ!!! FREAKING TIRED!! Wonder how i will be in sec 4.. hmm.. will i even live that long? Who knows. Lol. Oh yeah.. the date 23 August is stuck in my head today.. and the number keeps repeating.. 975blablabla.. Zzz. Gosh.. Jessie reminded me it was his birthday. Gah. Damn it. And .. i don't hate him people. He gave me memories that were sweet and nice.. why would i hate him for that yeah? Yes.. he's gone.. but wadever yeah? Ppl come and go. And L.. i don't know which he is at now.. seems like go. Well.. as long as i know he's fine.. i'm fine with it. uhmm.. yah... wadever? "Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars " ... this line can't get out of my mind.. although i think that my heart is fine... it still feels like blades in it. "I wish u were here with me... tonight.." Quote: " You tucked me in, turned out the light. Kept me safe and sound at night. Little girls depend on things like that" ... i wish daddy could do all these little things again.. Well.. i can wish right? ..
GREEN PARA Message to one female person( i doubt she will know this is for her) : Oh yeah.. Well.. all i can say is.. I don't show that face to EVERYONE. Mostly.. i only show it to u .. cuz i really don't like u. Get that.. understand that.. BELIEVE IT. I really do not like u but i'm trying my very best to like u. All i can say is .. GROW UP YOU CHILDISH BRAT. N.. DAMN U FOR ALL THE THINGS U HAVE DONE. I tried changing u back. But u didn't wanna. So.. SERVE U RIGHT. May ur life continue to sux like shit. Thank you. Bye.
~End post~
Anyway, all other stuff will be post soon. Like ... pictures of Mount Kinabalu and what i have been up to. Lol..
Louisse.. didn't hear from u these few days.. don't know what happened to u.. but know u're fine for sure.. u're always fine. Part As.. camp feast tmr wor.. part As.. lol. Have fun ppl.
Alright.. it's 8.00am .. hope Louisse kor isn't late for work. I do not wish to receive complains from Collin uncle(boss there). Well.. Ermm... yup. Sleep... got to go back to sleep.
why can't i sleep.. what's wrong with me.. sleep pei san sleep. COME ON!! GAH!!.. why can't i sleep..
Monday, November 30, 2009
kns. My mother just scolded me for not putting the 2 interviews together. WTH. Like as if i can see the future and see both wanna work there like that!?!?!...Wadever. Moving on, i had fun. The picture below is a pic of my mother. 
Anyway, today.. brought Louisse for an interview at ntuc. Collin uncle is the boss at lot 1. Said hello to him then introduced kor to him. The picture below is a picture of Louisse in the mrt on the way to lot 1 giving his i don't give a shit what the result is face. LOL.
Alright.. the results of the interview was a... PASS!!! YAY!! Well.. the salary is about $800 per month. Well.. i think that's really good(: But kor don't. Lol. He was whining about how little the pay was and his holidays are over. Lol. I was laughing all the way and teased him with.. : " WAH!! I'M WORKING IN NTUC!! WAH!! $800 ONLY... WAH!! I WANNA CRY!! MUMMY!! " Lol.. He told me to shut up more than 20 times today... hahahaha. So funny. The pictures below shows his i hate this job face.
Well.. he will be starting work tmr. 8am at lot 1. Kor, don't be late. And he has a course to take on monday. Well.. in ntuc, u got to have a bank so it will be easier to give u ur pay. So yeah.. brought kor to bukit timah POSB to open an account.
Yup.. on the way back home.. he was still whining. But yeah.. got use to it. Done(:
If helping others is wrong.. then to hell with the rest of the world.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
blablabla
11/29/2009 01:41:00 PM25 Nov Wednesday
Prefects' outing.. well.. freaking hot weather but hey.. i had fun. The lunch and stuff screwed up.. but it's okay.. i guess it's still awesome yeah? And sorry Kel.. haha. Hope u had fun in the water :P .. Thanks committee for the wonderful time.
26 Nov Thursday
Guitar lesson .. and psle results release. The lesson was okay. I called my p6 cousin up at night.. and found out she got 234 for her results. Good job girl! (: Better than me(: Lol.
27 Nov Friday
Class outing.. ermm.. all i gotta say is.. thanks committee.
2 of my friends were having their 14th birthday but i couldn't celebrate with them. Well.. nvr mind. Agnes.. HAHA.
Thanks Josh for smsing me till i reach home about 11pm.. Thanks kor.. although u were having headache... but u were still there(:
28 Nov Sat
Daddy's 100th day since his death. Well.. went to visit daddy.. At choa chu kang columbarium.. D 01 03. The other place was the temple place. Well... cried again. On the bright side.. i saw my baby nephew! He's so cute.. and he finally learnt how to say papa and mama.. oh yeah.. and don't want.. haha. Well.. sad daddy couldn't hear him.. he would love that.
Sorry Fred`kor for making u worry.. Hey.. it's okay to be sad. I'm use to it.
29 Nov Sunday.. today.
Waiting for 4.30pm so i can go to the bus stop and wait for Jessica. I noticed i keep waiting for i don't know what. Well.. wadever. Tmr.. got family BBQ.. Gah.. nothing has been prepared.. this suxs.
_____________________________________________________________________
Well... i'm finding out many many stuff.. like how 'nice' or nice my family are. Well.. this side of the family tells me not to listen to that side.. and that side ask me don't listen to this side so much. Then bad mouth about each other? Wtf? Wadever. I LISTEN TO WHICH SIDE I WANNA LISTEN AND U PPL GOT NO DAMN RIGHT TO TELL ME WHO TO LISTEN TO. I DON'T GIVE A SHIT IF U'RE MY AUNT.. I DON'T CARE.. SO JUST SHUT UP AND GET LOST.
Okay.. moving on.. tmr.. bbq.. who actually puts a random bbq during the raining session?!?!? ... Answer? MY MOTHER. Wadever. A bbq without any planning? You think food will drop from the sky arh?!! ... wadever.
Alright.. the ncc thingy.. a test? ... well.. doesn't look like it. .. well.. nvr mind. insulted? Yes.. very.. all of us are. But nvr mind.. anyway.. it's the holidays.. we should at least try to have fun.. yeah?
End of year.. sec 4s leaving.. Well.. bright side.. Jessie can't murder me. Lol. I think i'm gonna lose contact with Louisse soon.. well.. nvr mind. Not as if he reads my blog.. Zzz. More bright side.. i got more time with my batch ppl! (: Oh yeah... today.. Gladys went running i think .. lol. Hope she had fun. Well.. i'm bored of typing. Bye bye!
~End post~
It's tough to hold a conversatin when words are not enough.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
very short post
11/24/2009 04:13:00 PMErmm.. Thank you Louisse`kor for yesterday night's replies. Well.. will try to follow it. (:
Bon voyage Keneth.. take care and have fun! (:
2e1'09 .. see u ppl during class outing!
Agnes.. don't so siao next year please. lol.
Aisyah.. facebook predictions are rubbish.. lol. don't be 'sad'..
Sunday, November 22, 2009
I just totally quarrelled with my mother again. I cried twice today. For those that know me ... i guess u ppl know that i hate crying and that i'm not those that cry that easily. Well .. for those who know me very very well.. u will know i have 2 sides.. the soft.. and the hard. The one most see.. is the hard one. The everything is fine and cool girl. The soft?.. the.. i cry when u're not looking girl. Well.. daddy's gone.. i thought mummy's getting better.. but she's not. Daddy didn't look for me although i wish he would. Well.. I smile.. I play.. I laugh.. I try to act like everything is getting better. But i'll tell u know.. and i'll type it out. NOTHING IS GETTING BETTER AND LIFE SUXS. Well... I thought i could take it all.. but i just can't.
I don't know what to say.. i don't know what to do. Well.. maybe i'm just stupid. Yeah.. stupid. I don't know how to read letters that i have received.. i don't know how to read bills. Bills look like stupid numbers that are huge. Letters are like books that i hate. Don't tell me i'm still young. That's no excuse. So what if i'm young? Does it mean that i can just play all day? NO! .. Bullshit. Well.. daddy has left.. Mummy's condition is getting worst. She can't control her temper.. she's worrying about stuff she shouldn't think about.
Well.. she had a dream about daddy a few weeks ago..
here it goes..
daddy brought us out for a meal.. then suddenly he hugged mummy and asked why he was so unlucky.. and he cried. He cried and said that he was so unlucky.. out of so many ppl who have ate it.. he was the one that had problems.
Well.. I have been quarrelling with my mother alot after daddy's death. And today.. i cried.. asking myself why am i so unlucky.. why is my father gone. I couldn't answer myself. During that time.. i was messaging Adalia for some ogl stuff. She didn't know i was crying. Duh. Well.. just.. about 5min ago.. I just kinda argued with my mother again. She came in the room then said: " TSK!" ... so i asked her why? Then she scolded me and said so messy bla bla bla bla. Then say.. : " WHY CANNOT USE THE SECOND DRAWER! MAKE THE FIRST DRAWER SO MESSY! " .. So i took my watch that was on the top and threw it to the second drawer. Then took everything else and left it at my room.
Seriously.. for this? She's scolding? That's not the way my mother is.. well.. wadever. Letter? .. she scold me cuz i don't know how to read.. i keep quiet.. wadever. You know what? I SICK OF IT.. I'M SICK OF LIFE. I'M SICK OF MY MOTHER THINKING SHE'S GONNA GET LOCKED UP IN HOSPITAL LIKE WHEN I WAS P2. Do u know how scared i am? Do u know how confused i am!?!?! .. NO!! YOU DON'T!! YOU KNOW WHY?!?! CUZ U HAVEN'T BEEN THROUGH WHAT I HAVE. YOU ARE NOT ME! ..
Message to:
Keneth.. sorry. Ignore the rubbish message.
Louisse`kor, pretend i didn't message u at all since u don't reply.
Celine, i haven't talked to u in a long time and i'm sorry for that.
Maybelline.. i have blogged.
Josh.. stop emoing.
Marriott.. u better study ur math.
Gladys, Cynthia, Wan Qing: Jiayou in 8 subject comb..
Hannah: Hope u're done with the cheer stuff.
Fred: Take care..
Jin Chuan: Hey hey.. yo what's up..
you know who: Who needs u. I'm better off without u. All u can do is play around with ppl.
2e1'09: Hope we can still be close next year..
Benny: Stop prank calling me.
Siaddarth: Buy a new tie.
Agnes: Stop being crazy.. lol.
Xinle: Muahahaha... next year.. 5 periods together..
Junese: Stop touching my facebook. ... don't worry.. i will 'take care' of u de... ( inside joke )
Let me make this clear.. i'm not gonna die. not yet. so zip it even though it's a emo post.
~End post~
I got no dreams i got no goals. I'm hopeless and nothing will make me feel better except the return of my father.
Friday, November 13, 2009
friends? ..
11/13/2009 10:37:00 PM
Now that i have calm down and think about it. I think all that just happened was stupid and thus.. it was all rubbish. Yup. Full of crap.. rubbish. To the dustbin with the usm dream and every other rubbish. Bye bye. Wadever.. HAHAHAHA!!
My dreams are shattered; my friendships are ruin.. all i gotta say is.. it's all my fault if the ride has ended.
bad day much? yet.. this is reality.
11/13/2009 07:06:00 PMi'm sad.. are u? yes.. i am.
Alright.. today.. is friday the 13th. And it's a horrible day. Yup. Went to Bukit Batok CC to wait for Hannah in the morning.. met at 9.15am. She was late. The place was not open so went to school.
Mr Chun taught me some imt stuff. Then i went for ogl meeting. Was voted 2IC. Adalia was OIC. Li Ting was pissed that i wasn't OIC. Well.. it was just random shouting of names.. lol. Adalia was choosen by Mr Lam.
Left early for Imt. Met the rest at 11.40am.. Which was LATE although the paper stated 12pm. Lol. Suppose to meet at 11am.. didn't know.
Made in on time .. in fact.. we were early. Shoot and got it over with. Syaza's shoot were good to me. Wan Qing was runner up. Mine and Cynthia's not so good. Actually.. all were horrible.. the whole thing was horrible. Yup. Then we went nuts and sang childish songs. Poor Ms Ho.. lol.
Calvin was waiting for me in school to pass me back my phone.. sorry Calvin (:S) made u wait so long..Well ... my hp didn't turn on.. couldn't turn it on. Smack it on the table but still didn't work. Walked with Cynthia to the bubble tea shop then went to the hp shop beside. The aunt didn't know what was wrong.. so yeah. On the way.. was talking to Cynthia about ncc stuff. About who can become usm and asm in future. Now.. they think that Calvin will be usm and Aisyah will be asm. Yup. Cynthia, me, Gladys and Wan Qing are not cuz of some reasons. Well ..yeah. It's just our point of views.. so yeah. Well.. Cynthia told me why i couldn't be. And there were alot of factors... in each and everyone of us. She talked about mine since i wanted to hear it. Cyn then said i should go ask others if i wanna know more. yeah. Separated. Mood screwed.
It was raining. I walked under it.. didn't give a shit. Was planning to walk home but went up the bus at i don't know where. On the bus.. i was thinking about the stuff Cynthia said .. and i decided to send out messages to ask. I sent them to the juniors(except Celine; it's will be biased if send to her.. so yeah) and my fellow cadet mates. I asked them for negative comments and told them to criticize away. Got some positive comments though.. appears they got no negative comments.. But yeah. Many negative comments as predicted.
Positive comments(Wasn't asked for):
Fun to be with.
Serious about ncc.
One of the best.
Have the qualities of a leader.
I don't know what this is under.. :
Ignorance is bliss(:
Negative comments(as asked for):
Little stubborn.
Too Determine.
Bossy( somehow applies to all part Bs.. Zzz. The junior say de.. )
Uncaring sometimes.
Not helping others enough.
Rubbish results.
Talk like bigger than fellow cadet mates sometimes.(Arrogant)
Not serious enough about ncc? ( Doesn't that clash with the front one? )
Not strict enough so juniors think they can joke around with me in ncc.
Yup.. got alot of negative comments as asked for. Well.. gotta improve on them.. if not.. goodbye. The positive ones.. i'm just gonna ignore for now. Conclusion?
Conclusion(In my words.. my mind.. from my thinking.. my saying): Pei San.. u sux. Do something u idiot. Care for fellow cadets.. cannot apply isit? Idiot. So dumb. So bossy for what. Now part Cs in charge.. not part Bs u fool. So determine for what? Cannot take in other's advise arh? Idiot. Pei San.. u think u big arh? Fool. Cannot help others more isit? Why u not serious in ncc? Stop playing u fool. Time to take things under control moron. Idiotic dumb fool. Why can't u be more strict in ncc? Dumb isit? Juniors joke joke with u then u nvr mind nvr mind. Idiot arh? Then next year how? Cannot get their respect isit? Fool. Dumb ass. Cannot think more flexibly isit? Lead lead.. lead ur head arh. Whole day think of ncc ncc.. study lah fool. Ncc on friday lah fool. Dumb ass. Don't know how to manage ur time. You dumb or what?! So dumb. Idiot. If u become usm.. whole ncc sea close down! Idiot. Dumb ass.
I lost my goal.. i lost my passion.. I lost my dreams.. I lost my father. I lost too much in this life of mine and yet i'm still gonna continue life to lose enough more.
I got into class 3e1.. 7 subjects. Ss+geography. Well.. yeah. I'm not gonna appeal. I'm gonna life with it. Wadever.
~End post~
Idiots will always be idiots.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
RANDOM
11/11/2009 06:33:00 PM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
update; time table and letting it out
11/10/2009 07:51:00 PMpretty? My cousin.. lol. I steal from her com. She was wearing don't know what.
k box
Hello everyone.. i'm back!! Anyway... i'm at my jiu mu's place now.. Alright.. i'm gonna put my time table before saying some stuff. Guitar lessons are 4-5pm. Church are 2-8pm.11 Nov Kayaking 8am to 1pm & Gavin's birthday(but cannot wish him due to daddy)12 Nov Results release & Mummy heart check up13 Nov Imt competition from 12pm to 6pm. Ogl meeting from 9am to 1pm. 14 Nov Church17 Nov Work Review(prefects). 8.25am to 8.40am.18 Nov Kayaking 8am to 1pm.19 Nov Guitar lesson. Work out with ncc babes.20 Nov Work out with ncc babes.21 Nov Church23 Nov Cip fairprice, meet in school by 9am. Ncc total defence silver 11am. 25 Nov prefects outing. 9am at marina barrage.26 Nov guitar lesson. Work out with ncc babes.27 Nov Agnes' birthday. Cynthia's birthday. Class outing. ( cannot celebrate birthdays due to daddy's death)28 Nov Daddy's 100th day of death. Prayers. 3 Dec guitar lesson5 Dec Church13 to 16 Dec? Church camp17 Dec guitar lesson19 Dec Church23 Dec Jin Chuan kor's birthday. Sec 1 registration.25 Dec Christmas. Jessie jie jie's wedding.26 Dec ChurchOkay.. firstly .. mum is starting to disagree to me going to church.. GAH!!! ... Moving on..My schedule is kinda pack.. and.. more things will be added in. Vivien wants to work out with me. Lol.STORY TIME!!
Next.. i just found out that i'm unwanted by my father's side aunts in the past.. now.. i don't know. (Ni Ming kor kor and Ying Ying jie jie are not included if i talking bad.. actually.. all cousins are not included)Well... my dad divorced with my sister's mother.. then married my mother.. i don't know what u ppl will think of it but yeah. Anyway, i just found out that when i was born.. none from my father's side came. Before that.. they asked daddy and mummy to not have me in this world. I wasn't suppose to be here.. But daddy and mummy wanted me here.On my full month, none from my father's side turned up.On my first birthday, they didn't turn up again.As far as i can remember.. i can only remember my uncles from father's side coming and being close to me. My aunts? I only heard from them alot when i was in p6 i think.I stayed at my 5th aunt's place when i was young .. but i didn't remember it.All i know was that i didn't like it.My mind works in a very weird way last time.. for my childhood.. all i can remeber are the good things.. and NONE OF IT INCLUDES MY FATHER'S SIDE PPL BEING INSIDE. Well.. i don't know why.When i was p6 .. i went to my 5th aunt's place again. Before PSLE. Daddy said it would do me good.. cuz they study alot. He was right. I went there and got to know Ni Ming kor kor. He helped me alot even though we were not close at all then. He even prepared breakfast for me in the morning and stuff like that. Well.. yeah.. like my brother. I didn't dare to talk to him at first and i remembered we studied from 9am to 1am.. (yes.. meals included.. DUH!) . Yeah.. I soon got to know him better and we are very close now. I often went there till this year.. before the 2nd last paper.. i stopped. Well.. whenever i stayed there.. my 5th aunt will go on and on about stuff which i can remember.. and she would also say that i shouldn't trust my mother's side family so much as they are not well educated. Well.. now.. i got a few things to say about that. I TRUST WHO I WANNA AND I KNOW WHO TO TRUST. DON'T TELL ME YOU CARE IF YOU PPL BLOODY HELL DON'T CARE. IF U PPL ARE SO GOOD AT ACTING.. GO JOIN MEDIACORP! I DAMN HELL DON'T CARE. BEAT IT! okay.. moving on with my story.Well .. those who are my friends would know that daddy has left.. on 21 August 2009, 9.14pm. Yeah.. daddy's gone. I gotta take on alot more responsibilities. To say the truth.. i'm really scared.. and i really do not want to go on this. I want everything to just end. Well.. yeah. Anyway.. read daddy's last wishes le. He went totally i love u in it and i cried. Well.. daddy's death have brought me closer to my sisters(same father, different mother). And... i called their mother da ma. 5th aunt made me go down on my knees. Well.. this is what i have to say.. YOU WERE NVR PART OF MY LIFE AND U HATED ME. YOU HAVE NEVER PROVIDED ME IN MY LIFE AND U MADE MY MOTHER MISERABLE.. Stop doing this to my mother.. i beg u. Mummy didn't do anything wrong.You ppl have nvr been there for me.. so why are u all here now? Why are u all acting in front of me? Why are u ppl even here? LAST THING TO SAY( to whoever )... YOU DARE 'TOUCH' MY MOTHER.. I KICK YOUR ASS.YOU DARE BULLY HER, I BURY YOU ALIVE!! SO YOU BETTER F*** OFF AND STAY AWAY FROM MY MOTHER OR YOU ARE GONNA GET IT FROM ME!!End of storyMoving on.. life has been going back on track without daddy. Well.. i did a planning of earnings and spendings today. Vivien and Xinle should know. Cynthia also know i did a planning. Well... i'm not gonna say the details but i'll just say that.. i still can survive and mummy's earning a year will conclude to a savings of at least $3K. That means $3ooo. Well ... $3ooo per year.. i think it's pathetic and i feel that it will make mummy very stress. So i'm not planning to tell mummy about it. I don't want mummy to stress out. I wish i can take everything on myself so she will feel better. Haiz.. okay. Well..On the bright side.. I FINALLY GOT GUITAR LESSONS!!Anyway.. today.. had Ogl meeting.. i'm not gonna say anything on it.. but it was tiring.Next .. went to mac with Xinle. On the way.. saw Louisse.Jessica: Eh, your kor there.
*he was looking at us**everyone turned to him* (6 girls)Me: Who? *turn* He? Don't care lah! Lol.
*Louisse give the wth face, turn away then turn back again*
Me: HAHA.
Then i turn back and ask him if he want anything from mac. Lol.
Tmr.. KAYAKING!! ... i'm .. so.. tired.. already.. And it's not a good time for kayaking now. lol.I'm gonna end here now.. i'm tired of typing.
~End post~
FARMVILLE!! PLAY WITH ME!! Lol. Quote for today: People who make u cry are not worth ur tears and those who are worth ur tears will nvr make u cry.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Today was awesome. Lol. Went swimming with my cousins.. will post the pictures another time when i actually get them into the com.. wait 1 month bah. HAHA.
Well.. i don't know why but .. i somehow can feel everything normally but .. once i have nothing to do, once my mind can think properly again, i will start thinking about dad. Dad told Ying that he will come to my dreams after exams.. but he didn't. Exams are over, and i'm waiting.. but daddy didn't come back. Ermm...well... i'll put the thoughts in another post later.. when i feel like it. Now.. i go eat dinner first. Sayonara.
~End post~
Never ending nightmares of life..
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Yo yo yo people!! I'm back and blogging!! HAHA! Well.. exams are finally over. Results are back. AH!!! DIE DIE DIE! Lol. I failed higher chinese as usual. haha. Nvr mind.. confirm get kick out le so yeah. N.. i improved in everything but math!! FINALLY! Lol. Can't believe i worked hard for this exam. Well.. at least i passed math. Haha. Results.. when i get results slip le then post bah.
Well, exams over.. it's PARTY TIME!! WOO!! Lol. Poor sec 4s are all about to have O levels.. wah.. so i can't party with them. Party with sec 2s!! WOO!! Lol. Oh yeah.. Junn Yiow, pool, tuesday to thursday next week all can. Lol. Tmr cannot.. monday also cannot.. need help my cousin with her studies. Unless her sis does so. Lol.
Was smsing many ppl just now. One of which was Louisse`kor. Felt like dying when talking to kor. He made me so sian can.. haiz. Well.. he was studying.. didn't know. So yeah. Oh yeah, read his blog too. The latest post.. ermm.. nvr mind. lol.
Things have been going quite well i guess. But daddy still did not come back to look for me.. things about daddy.. i'll blog another time since i wanna make this a happy post( n my little cousin is staring at the com). So yeah.
Yesterday, went out with Yi Xin(Yi Ni/little miss sunshine), Junese, Marriott and April ( ALL COUSINS ). Lol. Awesome man. We sang from 7pm to 10pm at K box. Then went to donno what place to sing somemore. Till about 3am. Fun sia. Haha. Details.. i don't wanna say. Lol.
Well.. 2e1.. we gonna all separate le.. haiz. Well.. to ppl like Charis, Agnes, Hannah, Vivien, Anna, Junn Yiow, Shahrun and many many others... ( u know who u are ).. I'm gonna miss u all so much if we are not in the same class. Well.. we will still see each other? Lol. To netballers.. JIAYOU JIAYOU FOR TRAINING. And of course.. to ncc cadets.. PERSIST! Lets all make next year the best year ever. Lol. Yeah.
To all sec 4s.. JIAYOU JIAYOU FOR O LEVELS.. Some sec 4s to mention are Josh kor, Louisse kor, Keneth, Fred kor, Maybelline jie, Chean Pin, Jessie, Daniel, Shi Cheng, Chang Yen, Burhan, Jie Jian, Yi Ren( give me a break.. don't comment on this.. or else.. DAMN U ) haha.. and many many many other. I'm gonna end here cuz even i am getting bored of reading my blog. Lol.
~End post~
Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.
Monday, September 21, 2009
update
9/21/2009 08:21:00 PMFirst things first, camp steel with central was.. horrible. It was slack.. but there were fun parts.. with the sir. Haha. Bangkok, Indonesia and Malaysia!! HAHA. Only Gladys, Wan Qing and I know. HAHAHA
My fish don't wanna eat.. gah!! .. pissed. Wadever. Moving on.. past few days are boring.. bla bla. I got nothing to blog about. Every monday, wednesday and friday morning got running for part Bs nccsea cadets. Wonder who will go. You know.. it suxs to run early in the morning then go for classes.. haha.. go stink the whole classroom up. I wonder when i will stop existing.. HAHAHAHA. Saddist.. Zzz. I think i'm getting a headache.. damn. And i'm not prepared for sa2.. really really not prepared. I'm so in trouble.. how how how? Gosh gosh gosh. HELP!! ... Oh yeah.. profs test is in 1 month or so. sea cadets be prepared!! AHH!!!!!
Exams.. ncc... class.. school.. family.. prefect.. Hmm.. wadever.
~End post~
Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility... It is therefore able to undertake all things, and it completes many things, and warrants them to take effect, where he who does not love would faint and lie down. Love is watchful and sleeping, slumbereth not. Though weary, it is not tired; though pressed, it is not straitened; though alarmed, it is not confounded...
That was what dad gave me, love.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Thoughts and feelings..
9/14/2009 09:23:00 PMBlogging at last..
Alright.. first things first.. thanks Yi Ni jie jie.. jiu jiu.. and jiu mu.
Basically, i have been staying at their place. And my mother had cause quite alot of trouble if i do say so myself. Yi Ni jie jie has cried alot.. and i know it although i act like i don't. For me.. i did.. well yeah.. i did cry.. lots and lots of tears and i know that none will bring daddy back. I feel super bad now. Real her blog if u all wanna.. 2 post especially.. not too long ago ones. Her name is at my link YI XIN. Jiu Mu, jiu jiu... both of u don't work already yet u 2 still don't mind having mum and i here till 18 September. Taking care of our every meal and making sure we are alright. Brewing the medicine for 6hours straight everyday for many many many times.
Moving on, I found out i made my father's side cousin cry. He's JC2. I didn't reply his message and made him too worried. Sorry kor. Well.. i wasn't feeling good that day.. i didn't reply anyone that day. Sorry sorry. Sorry Ni Ming kor kor.
Next, thanks all friends that have been here with me.. my classmates.. especially Charis and Jessica from class. Also.. Louisse, Maybelline, Josh, Keneth and Fred. There are many others as well. You know who u are and u know if u deserve this. Thanks people. Also to You Di.. this guy which i actually don't know at all but is currently helping me with stuff. And Jin Chuan kor.. thanks for calling and worrying that much. Sorry Jin Chuan.. made u call from overseas.. sorry..
I notice i have alot of work to do and catch up with.. and i know dad wants me to go into a good university next time. Dad.. i'm gonna do badly in secondary 2.. but i will catch up in secondary 3 okay? I'm sorry dad.
Here's 2 songs for u, dad..
Butterfly fly away by miley cyrus
(song is true except for all alone although it was kinda like that)
You tucked Me in turn Out the lights
Get me safe and sound at night
Little Girls Depend on things like that
Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when i looked back
You had to do it all alone
Make a live and make a home
Must been as hard as it could be
And when I couldnt sleep at night
Scared things wouldnt turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me
Duet : Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus
Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'd be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you were mine and wish you mine
Don't you worry , hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly Away
Butterfly Fly Away (Butterfly fly away)
Spread your wings now you cant stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly Fly Away (Butterfly fly away)
you've been waiting for this day
All long you know what just to do
Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly
Butterfly Fly Away
Butterfly Fly Away
(Butterfly fly away)
(fits me perfectly.. true in every word)
If only you could see the tears in the world you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more time
Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come I'll realise
You're a loss I can't replace
Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad
Walking down the streets of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be
I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I can't still the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name
Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad
Time will never change the things you told me
After all we're meant to be love will bring us back to you and me
If only you could see
Soledad
It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me
Soledad
In my heart you were the only
And your memory live on
Why did you leave me
Soledad
Just now .. when i was at mac with Keneth(don't think sick u idiots) .... I scribbled many stuff down.. well .. just thoughts and stuff.. but first.. sorry Keneth for making u emo due to crying. Well.. here's what i wrote..
Dad, you moved on to the after but you are still alive in my heart and the hearts of many others.
But.. can't u see that i'm barely hanging on?
I closed my eyes and wished that it was all just a nightmare but i was wrong, this is reality.
Dad, i want to break free from this chain of torture, I want you back dad.
The sun might still be shining but darkness fills my soul knowing that u will nvr come back.
Day by day, the fear of knowing that you left this world just gets stronger and stronger.
Dad, i'm scared.. i'm lost.. I'm trying.. i really am.. i'm smiling in school.. acting like it's all fine.. I putting up a strong front but dad.. i can't take it.. I miss you.
I learnt that there's no such thing as 'nothing is impossible'. If nothing is impossible, i would fight with the king of hades(king of afterlife) to get you back.
Dad, i can't take it. I didn't even get to say i love you before u left. Dad, 20 minutes.. i'm sorry.. i was 20minutes late. I'm sorry i wasn't there for you when you needed me most. Dad, i really really really miss you. I can't take this.. I just can't accept the fact that u left for afterlife.
I miss your hugs..
I miss your scolding..
I miss your nagging..
I miss every part of you dad..
This fear.. this torture.. I need you dad..
Dad, i know u tried to hold on.. i know u didn't want to go.. i know i'm selfish.. but i still do miss you and i still want you back.
Alright.. i'm just gonna end here.. this feels horrible.
~End post~
I would die if it will make everything be the same again.
Signing off,
Pei San.
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Today.. hmm.. Charis, Xinle, Maybelline, Keneth, Josh, Junn Yiow and Louisse came over. Yup.. 7 person. Fred couldn't make it due to tuition. It was fun.. lol. Junn Yiow ... looks so weird. Lol. Thanks for the bear and card. Ermm... and i'm not sick, Junn Yiow. I'm NOT mentally sick.. lol. Thanks Charis and Xinle for the bread thingy which i forgot what it was and the chocolate. Hehehehe... nice. Moving on.. poor Keneth sit on the floor to do his homework and revision.. Maybelline too.. Josh also. Lol. Louisse and Junn Yiow are the only guys that dare to sit on the bed. Lol. Junn Yiow, Xinle, Charis, Maybelline and Keneth went off at around 5pm.. leaving Josh and Louisse. Yup.. both kors. Lol. Baobei kor was doing his hw then darling kor was about to sleep. Haha.. so funny. DK joined us for dinner. BK went off to join his parents for dinner. DK, u better sleep today.. don't act cute. Haiya.. i lazy blog le.. bye bye crazy ppl that read but don't tag. Hehehehe.. oh yeah. YINI JIE JIE RAWKS.. WEE~~ Hehehehe.. JIU MU RAWKS~~ HER COOKING RAWKS TOO~~ JIU JIU RAWKS TOO~~ Hehehehehe. Lol. Thank u for staying over and stuff. Today.. i not gonna blog about daddy. I don't wanna cry today.. byebye
~End post~
I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.
... but it's all too late..
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
daddy
8/26/2009 11:20:00 PM
Day 1 Friday.. 21 August 2009.
I went to school as usual.. not knowing what was about to happen. Did annoucement duty and stuff... went up to class for lessons. First lesson was english. At 8.40am.. i was bored so i just randomly took out my phone and saw Pearlyn Jie Jie's message. She said that doctor wants all relatives to be at the hospital.. I freaked out immediately but sat there till 8.50am then told Ms Kavitha. Ms Kavitha brought me down after her lessons and stuff... at about 9am. Then my cousin and her family came about 9.10am... then about 9.20am.. we received mummy's call... she was crying like nvr before. Daddy was gone. I didn't make it on time.. daddy was gone at 9.14am. Daddy couldn't wait for me. The taxi trip seems super long.. my tears just broke out and my mind went blank.At the hospital.. there was a quarrel. My mother's side aunt was quarrelling with my father's side aunt. Uncles were trying to stop the quarrel.. i just stood there.. walked out .. and cried. Messages flooded my inbox.. i replied slowly.. the quarrel was getting louder but it soon ended. Appears my father's side aunt was quarrelling cuz she thinks that my mother's side aunt food made my father go away. At that time.. i wanted to just shout out a 'shut the fucking hell up would u! ' .. but i took a deep breath and just walked away. My step mother was also there. *skip all details*Went to the make up place with Pearlyn Jie Jie .. she cried the whole trip.. i just tried to calm her down.. felt like crying but tried not to. I just kept quiet and went there. The funeral planning was fast.. and everything as planned. Everyone's eyes were filled with tears but all tried not to cry. Day 1.. i stayed with daddy there.______________
Day 2.. 22 August 2009. Sat.The funeral went as planned.. everything went as planned.. I cried alittle i guess. No dreams about daddy. Pearlyn Jie Jie and Angelline Jie Jie came in the morning too. I slept well i guess.. Jie jies also had no dreams about daddy. many came.. all had a heavy heart. Many cried when praying.. even more cried when they saw daddy. Mr Lam, Ms Ho and Ms Yee came over.
That night.. went over to my big aunt's house to spend the night. Did not sleep well.______________Day 3.. 23 August 2009. Sunday.Which is also Yi Ren's birthday.. i only wished him happy birthday at 12.40am when i was free. Appears he don't know the news. He seems like he don't know it bah. Well.. he saw my father before. Daddy even fetched Yi Ren home before. I guess.. i should have asked Yi Ren to go to the funeral bah. But nvr mind.. it's over. And it was his birthday. He replied.. but not like he use to. It's okay.. i can't expect much. Anyway.. third day.. i seemed fine and i didn't cried so much. Hannah and family came. Mr Lam and Mrs Ooi too. Spend the night with daddy. Slept very well.______________
Day 4.. 24 August 2009. Monday.aka.. Burhan's birthday. Sorry Mr B.. I only wished u at about noon.. as my phone was not with me. Louisse, Josh, Maybelline, Keneth, Daniel and Fred came over. Thanks ppl.. Oh yeah.. those are the ppl who i usually study with since common test. I had fun... Thanks.. i smiled. It was the last night as the funeral was 5 days for dad. Burn house and car for daddy. The heat was okay i guess.. i think the tears covered everything. All the 3 daughters stayed.. I slept beside both Jie jie. We only slept at 3am. Was decorating daddy's coffin.. with flowers. It was like.. the prettiest coffin ever. There was dreams about daddy.. but were all random dreams.______________
Day 5.. 25 August 2009. Tuesday.Woke up at about 7.50am. Then after making all the stuff.. about 8.30am.. i went to sleep again.. Yao Qing kor kor woke me up at about 9am cuz many ppl were already coming and i needed to attend to the stuff and make the joss stick stuff. I didn't even realise i fell asleep. But yeah.. there was no dream.. still no dream. Prayers and stuff.. and send daddy off for cremation. I think while waiting for daddy's friend to walk pass daddy.. it took more than 5min.. The 3 daughters were standing in front of the joss sticks.. crying. Obviously. Yeah.. obviously i'm one of them. I actually managed to not cry.. but when i saw daddy's friends all come out crying.. i couldn't take it.. ended up choking with tears. There was a singer singing for daddy. Her voice is awesome. I managed to get her to let me, Pearlyn Jie jie, Angelline Jie jie and Yao Qing kor kor were singing.. but didn't sing that well.. was crying i guess. At noon.. daddy went off for cremation.. All of us went. There was a ntuc bus.. for everyone. Others took cars. Cremation.. after that.. the families went for meals( my mother side.. my father side and my sisters side ) ... the food was FREAKING NICE .. but i was a vegetarian at that point of time. I was like .. AH!! HUNGRY AH!! DON'T SAY NICE!! I CANNOT EAT!! AH!! ... Lol. After meal.. my father's side 5th aunt made me go on my knees and call my sister's mother da ma. I was very reluctant.. but did it in the end. Well ..yeah.. she's still my mother after all right? She might hate me last time.. but she doesn't already right? .. Anyway.. da ma cried when i went on my knees and called her da ma for the very first time. I stood up.. Ni Ming kor kor was beside me.. and i looked at him.. and asked: " What just happened?.. " .. My mind was blank. After that.. went home.. on the trip home.. i thought over what happened.. i came up with this. ' I just called someone that use to hate me.. my mother' .. i was like.. ermm.. okay.. she's my mother now.. ermm.. okay. I slept at 6pm.. to 8am the next day.. there were dreams.. but none were about daddy. I cried most on day 5 and day 1..
______________Day 6.. 26 August.. Wednesday.Went off to collect daddy's ashes.. was totally quiet on the way. Da ma smiled at me.. i was very shock to see that. I smiled back. I guess.. everything from the past is gone .. right? .. oh yeah.. Louisse, Fred, Josh, Maybelline and Keneth came over. It was fun. But they saw me cry.. i'm so sorry ppl.. spoil the mood alittle..______________Day 7.. is tmr. Thursday..Need to go see daddy again. Today.. daddy will be back home. Biscuit and stuff is outside the living room prepared for daddy. I also wrote a note. Well.. all i can say on blog is.. daddy, i love you.. i always will.. but daddy.. u have to move on.. to that better place.. cross to the light. Yup.. ______________
TO ALL.. SORRY PPL.. I WILL NOT BE ATTENDING SCHOOL TILL MONDAY. I GOT STUFF TO HANDLE AND I NEED TO GET MY EMOTIONS RIGHT BEFORE RETURNING.. IF U ALL CAN DO SO.. DON'T ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS.. I REALLY DONT WISH TO ANSWER ANY OF IT.. I'LL JUST BREAK DOWN AND CRY. AND.. I CAN'T ATTEND ANY BIRTHDAYS NOR WEDDINGS NOR STEP INTO PPL'S HOUSE TILL ABOUT 15 NOVEMBER. IT'S LIKE A RULE. I CAN DO PROJECTS WITH U ALL AT MAC ALL THESE.. BUT CANNOT STEP INTO UR HOUSE. IT'S NOT GOOD. AND I CAN'T WEAR COLOURFUL STUFF TILL AFTER THE 100 DAYS. YES.. THERE ARE MANY MANY RULES. U ALL CAN COME OVER.. BUT I CAN'T GO OVER. IT'S A RULE.. I CAN'T BREAK THEM. IT'S SOMEHOW THE BEST FOR DADDY.. I hope u all will understand.. thanks... thanks alot. And to those who smsed me.. u know who u are.. thanks... i appreciate them.. thanks. And to those that came to the funeral.. Mr Lam, Ms Ho, Ms Yee, Hannah, Wan Qing, Aisyah, Cynthia, Calvin, Gladys, Agnes, Jessica, Charis,Mrs Ooi, Maybelline, Louisse, Josh, Keneth, Daniel and Fred.. thank u ppl the most.. daddy appreciates it too. And those that seen my dad before.. even better that u came ... thanks thanks.. yup.. that's all. ~End post~
To daddy..
Daddy.. u will always remain here.. in my heart... and in many others heart. Cross over and stay in a better place.. anything.. just let us have a dream of u. We will do wadever we can. Money will burn for u de.. don't worry. And don't worry.. if ppl bully mummy.. i'll kick their damn sorry ass. Make them kiss the floor. Unless it's ur sisters and stuff.. then i can't do much except argue yeah? Don't worry.. i'll be okay.. i'll take care of things here.. everything will be fine right? .. I depended on u for 14 years.. 14 years of concern and care.. u have given me more than anyone can ever give me.. u took care of me. Your will stuff.. don't worry.. will settle de. You don't have to worry about anything.. Pei San will take care of it. Angelline Jie Jie and Pearlyn Jie jie also will. Yao Qing kor kor also. We will take care of everything u need. Most importantly.. u must move on to a better place.. through the light. I don't know what's there.. but u must be happy there alright? .. Take care daddy. I wonder if there got internet to read.. maybe have right? Yeah.. maybe have.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
oh yeah.. damn shit. I screwed up annoucement duty. Was like.. what the hell lah.. gah!! .. Didn't get scolded.. but i know got ppl comment from the audience. Zzz.. sickening.
update
8/18/2009 11:10:00 PMThis is gonna be long i think. First things first... SORRY FRED!! SORRY SORRY!! SORRY UNCLE FRED!! Ahems. That was for physics and chemistry. I'm sorry. Lol. Ermm.. i think i totally screwed both papers lah.. and Fred like teach so much yesterday. I finally understand the topics.. but.. cannot apply? pe and history were okay. I forgot to take my specs after pe.. sorry Hannah. Lol. Physics.. i almost fell asleep. 11am... chem and physics test.. wanna cry lah. Lol. Then higher chinese test.. no need take. LUCKY ARH!!!! LOL.
Kayaking.. i happy like donno what at first.. then go there. Everything done.. give the form. Clarence gave a blurr and serious look when he saw the forms then told Mr Azhar that part Bs cannot take part Cs event. Then... Mr Azhar tell us. Wah.. tell u arh.. i felt like crying man. But didn't then. Then i go one side... then think. Bends and hitches gone.. kayaking singles gone cuz Nas wanna work with me for doubles. So Mr Azhar sent the runner up, Wan Qing :D .. Yeah. Since all the name give le.. cannot change. So.. me and nas totally taken out. Cannot change. Then my doubles event for part C gone cuz.. part Bs cannot take part Cs event. Right after thinking of all these.. i cried. Asshida, Nasyitah and I.. 3 sit there.. laugh like crap.. then cry. Laugh and cry at the same time. Come to think of it.. it's scary. Mr Azhar came to us.. 3 of us heads down.. laughing and crying. Looks like laughing but can see got tears. Anyway.. i think Mr Azhar feels super guilty.
Anyway.. i last year.. part A kayaking.. lost cuz nvr kayak with Aisyah before.. but nvr mind.. the experience was good. This year.. cuz Mr Azhar didn't read the informations properly.. too much informations le lah. So yeah.. i screwed 2 years of ncc stuff le. 1 more to go only.. haiz. Enough about sad stuff. After that.. went to kayak cuz Mr Azhar ask the (rank)________ Oliver Tan. Haha.. i forgot his rank.. opps. Yeah.. that really cheered me up. Went down to water.. keep on clash with Nasyitah cuz her eyes got water.. Lol.. super funny. I enjoyed kayaking.. feels good. Then yeah.. went off at about.. i forgot what time. Wadever. LOL.
Went back to school.. (2 ways transport). Then.. debrief. Then.. see Fred and Maybelline. Went crazy with Maybelline then went: " SORRY FRED!! SORRY SORRY SORRY!! " Lol.. He was like.. huh? Lol. Went over to behind the sch mac with Asshida, Clarence, Maybelline and Fred. Met Kenneth. Xinle couldn't come out. Celine they all went home. oh yeah.. Congrats to Gladys and Cynthia for winning 2nd/3rd?? Lol.. yeah.. Qing's mother fetched her back home:D Ermm.. moving on.. From behind sch mac.. went to westmall mac then went home. Yup. Oh yeah.. Fred is now my uncle. HAHA. Uncle Fred. Right... this is getting messy and complicated. Let me make things clear to myself first..
Josh is baobei kor..
Louisse is darling kor..
Celine is dearest mei..
Maybelline is niece..
Kelway is daddy..
Fred is uncle..
Jin Chuan is kor..
Ermm.. that's all right? No more right? ... I'm getting confused. Lol. So i got 7 not family yet family members:D Alright. Oh yeah.. Thursday is my due date for art.. GAH!! SHIT!!!!! DIE!!!!!!! AH!!!!! I HATE ART!!!!!!!! I ONLY AT SKETCH ONE!!!!!!!! GAH!!!!! Moving on.. yesterday.. Louisse asked me this question: " Why you talk to me that time, will not look at me..? " (something like that.. meaning same.. i forgot the exact words).. ermm.. i don't know. I guess i just don't wanna look at him. Cuz i remembered last time.. i looked at him..then looked at someone else.. then i cried. So yeah. I just don't wanna remember those stuff. Oh yeah.. out of the 7.. Celine:D :D :D and Josh :D :D :D ... Louisse.. i don't know lah.. like.. he's a too busy brother i guess. Maybelline.. haha.. we're good friends.. niece or wadever.. don't matter. Lol. Kelway.. haha... Daddy so funny lah. Fred.. uncle Fred.. lol. Jin Chuan kor.. too busy with navy le. He's off at sea now.. Take care of yourself kor.. must be careful.
Ermm.. these few days.. i don't know why.. i just feel so sad man. Haiz.. why why why? .. Ermm.. tmr history test. I not sure if i can do well.. too tired le lah.. Haiz.. tmr.. need chiong art.. and study for dnt test. I HATE ART!! MR MARSHALL TAN... WHY?!?!?! anyway.. thanks thanks Fred for smsing me and accompanying me in the process. Thanks thanks Maybelline also.. but WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATIONS.. lol. Thanks thanks Kenneth for ur tissue and ur almost gave to me water. Lol.. and.. yes, my leg hurts.. stupid sia. Shower that time so freaking pain.. like nvr even bleed lah.. stupid.. can't believe i almost fell. Kick till donno what.. then got blood. Haha. Laugh out loud. Oh yeah.. Wan Zhen thinks i'll fall in love with Show Chan.. ermm.. will i? Lol. Show Chan, u that cute meh? LOL. Show Chan.. don't act cute hor.. tsk tsk.. u hor.. haiz.. LOL.. Done with posting.
~End post~
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
I wonder where's that person in my life.. lol. I don't think he came yet. Did he?
Monday, August 17, 2009
vent anger then update
8/17/2009 09:49:00 PMFirst things first.. WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! ... I just got inform that i need to sit for the higher chinese test tmr since the competition is later. THIS IS NOT FAIR!! I'm gonna die like this. I'm not prepared. It's like 9plus!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell.. Higher chinese paper leh. I don't wanna get kick out.. i don't wanna suffer chinese during jc.. i wanna cry le.. haiz.. spoil my mood.. today such a wonderful day till now.
___________________
Today.. classes stuff.. skip skip skip.
Then after school.. kor waited for me for 1 hour.. gosh. Sorry kor.. (Josh). I'm so sorry.. but my classes ended at 2pm. After that... went to mac. Kor teach me physics teach till wanna vomit blood. Maybelline and Fred soon came. Fred, u are a awesome teacher. You rawk man. Thank u so much. Lol. I finally understand physics. But not gonna do very well... i think? .. We had so much fun. Lol. KFC!! hannah and shi hui also. haha. Xinle soon came. So fun. KFC KFC KFC!! Daddy's fan club.. hehe. Okay lah.. all in all.. i really really need to thank Fred. Thanks dude.. lol. Oh yeah.. Louisse also came. skip skip skip.. byebye..
I'm tired.. damn.
~End post~
I HATE LAST MINUTE BULLSHIT.. U PPL BETTER NOT GIVE ME ANY OF IT.. GAH!! Wanna cry le lah.. die..
Saturday, August 15, 2009
update
8/15/2009 10:25:00 PM
gosh.. what's wrong with my hair.. Laugh out loud.
appears my hair look weird in all of it.
what's wrong wit my hair and my eyes.. damn it. Oh yeah.. i remembered.
___________________________________________________________________just finishing showering. Lol. Should have showered long ago.. feel so awake now.
First things first. I would like to stated to the author that i have stated " to that pretty babe. I have nothing to do with you from now on, i don't want to get in trouble with any of them again. Take care of yourself. Goodbye." The purpose of that source is to imply that i really do not want to have any thing to do with u already and i really mean i don't want to get trouble with any of them. And from now.. ________ .. is none of my concern nor care. I should have not care a long time ago. And mind u, i didn't control _______. I hardly even talk to you. Bye.
_____________________________________________________________________
Moving on.. lets update on yesterday. Yesterday..
MTRe.. boring.
Math.. got back math class test paper. I got 18 out of 30. Not very good but yeah.. i didn't bother much. Then right after that.. someone waterworks beside me. Girl.. ALL ur other results are better than me. That paper.. u only got 1 marks lower.. and u waterworks.. then may i ask u.. should i go and die for all the other results that i have got back? May i remind u that i got the lowest in class for the physics paper and that Mr Goh should be giving up hopes on me already? ... nvr mind.. wadever. I deserve it. Oh yeah.. Math.. my overall marks still fail so most likely .. A maths.. i no need take bah.
Next physics. I got 4 out of 25. Quick.. someone kill me. Zzz. Yes, it's the lowest in class.
recess then art. Before art.. i sit at the wall there.. blast music into my ears with ipod. Then that Junn Yiow.. walk circle circle around me. Lol. Cheered me up a little lah. Lol. oh yeah.. art.. i only at sketch 1.
Next.. history. Got test. Most likely also gone case de lah. Then got the blood donation drive forms. Oh yeah.. my mother gonna go.. one more person to find.. lol.
HCL... boring as usual. So crap with Charis as usual. Yes.. it's just joking as usual.
Charis: 45min more.
Me: 30min more for me.
Charis: Going kayaking arh?
Me: Ya *smile*
*charis show sad face*
Me: Why? Miss me arh? Nvr mind lah, today midnight can meet.
Charis: Cannot lah, got 5 clients today. Each 2 hours leh!
Me: WAH!! Who?
Charis: David, James, Michael, Jackson, Josh. * i show shock face then she continue* Eh!! Cannot!! Lol.. not Josh.. Peter.
*after awhile..*
Charis: Can. I move my shedule.
Me: Haha. okay.
*Both laugh*
Rubbish sia.. damn funny and stupid.
School end.. rush for ncc.. i left only 5min early.
______________________________________________________________
Kayaking ..awesome. No part Cs.. even better since HE not there. Haiya.. wadever lah. He... is the... BEST OF THE BEST SENIOR. Kayaking ended about 6 plus i think.. then part Bs got debrief from Mr Azhar. Oh yeah.. congrats part Cs for having so many marksmen. Especially YunQing for getting marksman also. Asshida nice one:D and Hikmah too. Then got one weird weird name.. maybe typo bah. No part Bs nor sir know who that was.. lol. Appears part Cs shooting very pro wor. oh yeah.. grats SENIOR haziq for getting 23 out of 24. Wadever.
______________________________________________________________
Reached bukit batok at 7 plus. Reached home at 8 plus. blablabla.. skip skip.
______________________________________________________________
Today.. i sleep like... practically whole day. All i thought about was that day stuff. N now.. i really don't wanna care already. Wadever. Oh yeah.. mei messaged me. Laugh out loud.. they told her. Haha. Poor kor. Tsk.. both of them hor.. lol. Oh yeah.. i noticed this.. whenever i cry.. i will think about that dude. And i'll try blocking everyone out so i can stop. Oh yeah.. now.. i finally realise he's not that cute afterall.. HAHAHAHAHA!! Well well.. wadever. He's a very very good friend. Opps.. i'm sorry.. i meant he was. Everything ended le. All gone.. just like that.
Oh yeah.. HY messaged me today.. he thought i was gonna s---- again.. hahahahaha. So funny lah.
Haiya.. life suxs. wadever. Life really suxs.
I'm a ..
Horrible student.
Horrible daughter.
Horrible friend.
Horrible god sister.
Horrible junior.
Horrible senior.
Horrible person.
Horrible girl.
Horrible in every way possible lah. Gah.. damn it.. i should die.
Just shut up i tell u.. JUST SHUT UP .. GAH!!!!!!! I'm pretending to the whole wide world that i'm okay but in blog.. i'm just.. letting everything out.. laugh out loud. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Life suxs.
~End post~
Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never... never forget it.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
100th post
8/13/2009 10:32:00 PMVenting my anger ( kind of )
Lets talk history.
The source is NOT reliable and it biased and partly untrue. Facts were not stated and the speaker was not in the situation itself but still cut in. The speaker think he big. The speaker is a horrible person that should die. Evidence can be gathered from the things that have happened. The speaker does not get it clear and don't bother to find out the full story before opening his mouth. The speaker is biased and does not deserve to continue being respected but will still be respected due to some stuff. The speaker suxs. The purpose of the source is to instill the hatred of the people to the speaker. And to let Pei San vent her anger. Done.
_____________________________________________________________________
Lit test was fine .. i guess.
Oh yeah.. hcl.. lol..
*RANDOM*
Pei San: " Tonight, midnight. "
Charis: " Okay. No, cannot. I meeting another client. "
Lol.. what will you think of ? Hmm... Lol. Yes, we were thinking sick.. it was a joke. We always say stupid stuff in class out of boredom. Today, history.. i fell asleep. HAHA. Oh yeah, Mr Lam is a left hander too. LOL. N.. i'm failing Hcl.. so that means.. i'm gonna die.. AHHH.. Zzz. I'm tired. I want him to disappear. He suxs. Life suxs too.
_____________________________________________________________________
Darling kor .. thanks for somehow cheering me up today.
Baobei kor.. thanks for the concern. And not bad wor.. can know i crying through the phone.. lol. You pro. Kor u so evil.. lol. Quote: " Are you crying? You can kiss my ass if you lie " then.. still got " What the fuck happened. Explain" .. i remember u on anti vulgar donno what right? Hor hor.. u say vulgar. LOL.
Well well.. thanks Mei also.. and Fanna.. and Aisyah.. and Syafiqah. Only these ppl and some others know what happen.
Oh yeah.. to that pretty babe. I have nothing to do with you from now on, i don't want to get in trouble with any of them again. Take care of yourself. Goodbye.
_____________________________________________________________________
Exams coming!! Ahh!! Art tmr!! AHH!! Art final due date next week!! AHH!! I don't understand any of the subjects that are gonna be tested!! AHH!!... i'm gonna fail.. i'm gonna faint.. i'm gonna die... yeah.. wadever.
Sometimes i really wish i can leave this world.
Currently, my eyes are swollen. And i'm tired. Wow.. crying is tiring. LOL. Maybe it should be a exercise. Haha. Ouch.. 2 and the half hours straight.. 5 words " F*** off my life please. " That's to the SPEAKER. Mummy say my eyes swollen. She thinks i'm just tired. LUCKY.. LOL . Oh yeah.. Z and SC(not saying Shi Cheng here) so cute!! AH!! Lol.. i'm saying stupid stuff again.
~End post~
Friends are made by many acts but lost in just one(be it if u wanted it). Yeah. Goodbye.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Here's a little cheer up message.. that is.. if the person even cares. Oh yeah, after exams if very free.. i'll put a for friends post. Lol.. Here comes the cheer up message. Ermm.. wait.. find photos first. I deleted all of his pictures cuz i was piss and didn't wanna care ever again that time.. But yeah. pic taken from bro's blog.
Ermm.. i think i'm just gonna stop here.
_______________________________________________________________________
Next.. Today was alright i guess? But it was tiring. And i managed to stay hyper and smile through the day. That's something i'm glad of.. even though i didn't feel that awesome inside. Well, doesn't matter.
Oh yeah.. here's a warning. If u wanna get close to me.. don't think about leaving.. cuz when u do leave.. i'll nvr forget it.. and i mean nvr. I'll nvr forget those i was close to.. cuz the memories.. were just too sweet. Yes.. this includes memories of me and Wan Qing.. and the brothers for life(know who? Lol ) ... and.. last year sec 4 ncc seniors. Take it as i'm begging? Don't leave if u wanna come close or already am. The feeling... is just ... not nice. It can kill. Really.. what hurts most is having those close around u leave you.
~End post~
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over.
Did I ? I don't know.. i can't remember. But i like the company. Somehow just replaced everyone else... haiz... wadever.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
songs lyrics
8/09/2009 03:56:00 PMRASCAL FLATTS LYRICS
"What Hurts The Most"
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
____________________________________________________________________________________
Crazier by Taylor Swift
I've never gone with the wind
Just let it flow
Let it take me where it wants to go
Til' you opened the door
And there's so much more
I'd never seen it before
I was tryin' to fly but I couldn't find wings
But you came along and changed everything
You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me Crazier Crazier Crazier
I watched from a distance as you
Made life your own
Every sky was your own kind of blue
And I wanted to know how that would feel
And you made it so real
You showed me something that I couldn't see
You opened my eyes and you made me believe
You lift my my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier
Ohhhh
Baby you showed me what livin' is for
I don't wanna hide anymore
Oh Ohh
You lift my feet off the ground
You spin me around
You make me crazier crazier
Feels like I'm fallin and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier crazier crazier
Crazier Crazier
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Butterfly fly away by miley cyrus
You tucked me in, turned out the light
Kept me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that
Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when I looked back
You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be
And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me
Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry, hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away
Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away
Flap your wings now you can't stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away
We've been waiting for this day
All along and knowing just what to do
Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly, butterfly fly away
Butterfly fly away
Butterfly fly away
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Tonight – Fm Static
I remember the times we spent together
All those drives, we had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York everything felt right
I wish you were here with me,
Tonight
I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much
Tonight I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn’t wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late
I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus, and how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad, sometimes
Not having you here
Tonight I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
I say
Tonight I’ve fallen and I can’t get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Bless The Broken Road
I set out on a narrow way, many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Yes He did
I think about the years I spent, just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there, you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
But now I'm just rolling home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
_____________________________________________________________________________________
THESE ARE THE 5 SONGS ON MY PLAYLIST NOW. I CREATED A NEW PLAYLIST. THESE ARE A FEW THAT I'M LIKE... ADDICTED TO.. CUZ THEY MEAN SOMETHING TO ME IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.
Tuesday went to school. Got fever. In the morning after pledge duty, it was 37.5.. Yup.. fine.. so went for class. Didn't care much.. wadever. pe first lesson.. headache. Take temperature again.. 37.8 So didn't do pe. Then ending pe that time.. take again.. 38.3 ... then went for history class. History class seems so freaking long. Then Vivien and company keep on saying go home lah go home lah. Then about 9am.. i take temperature again. 38.8 ... i gave up. Let the class chase me to sick bay. Mr Lam was like .. what the? Lol. Sick bay was so boring.. they should put air con there.. lol. The fan seems quite cold though. Then about 10am.. jiu mu and jiu jiu came. Go see doctor ..blablabla. I stay at their house till Friday. Went back to school on thursday though. I WAS OKAY ALREADY. To SOME PEOPLE.. I WAS FEELING FINE THUS I RETURNED TO SCHOOL SO U PPL BETTER SHUT UP AND STOP THINKING THAT I'M KILLING MYSELF. Just shut up and kept ur thoughts to urself. I was fine. 3 words.. WHAT THE CRAP. Done.
Thursday was opening ceremony. I was SUPPOSE to be in the prefects duty.. my name was there.. it was even in the dinner list. Wadever. I got taken out by Mr Lee cuz he thinks i got fever?! .. wadever. I went for ncc instead. Took the part As. Was the IC. Had fun. Noted that part As need to improve and part BC need to teach them drills soon. Prefects seem very busy then. Yup. 2 part As reported sick.. WTH?!?! Ms Grace nvr even come yet then they report sick le.. wth. Weiting sent them home. While waiting for her to come.. the guest came.. prefects were totally busy. Up down up down the stairs they go. Lol.. Said hi.. said good evening to the guest.. blabla.. Yup. About 7pm, part As dismiss. Goh went back to HQ to put rifle. Went to eat with Calvin and Evelyn Lam.. super funny. Oh yeah.. we gross 2 GB girls out. LOL. ncc rawk on man. Hehe. blablabla.. went back to aunt's place.
Friday.. pledge duty change to announcement. Blablabla.. was dj. Blablabla.. not many can hear.. wadever. Oh yeah.. and i'm surprise he actually said bye to me. Wadever.. said bye back. Oh yeah.. Zac keeps saying hi that day.. lol.. he's so weird. I was blasting the ipod music into my ear while watching show chan, lou and him play basketball... then he kept looking at me asking what. Lol. And he kept saying hi. So funny. But i was so not in the mood then.. wonder why. After half day of school.. went to watch movie. The show was awesome. So cute!! AHH!! Ahems.. okay. Up is a nice show.. go catch it ppl. The bird is freaking cute.. yet so irritating. The boy too.. lol.
Saturday.. finally came home. Didn't go to church. Needed to stay home. Well.. hope next week can. Cannot go church.. so i just sleep lor. Sleep till 2pm. Wakey.. wash up.. walk the whole house.. see got alot of ppl visiting daddy.. lock my room again and sleep somemore. Woke up at 5pm. Hungry... go eat. blabla.. bored. Watch tv. skip skip skip. At night watch resident evil 2. Wee~ Zombies~ Infections~ ah~ die~ lala~ Bomb~.. end show . lol. Went to sleep.
Today.. boring. Later gonna study... i think?.. oh yeah.. i'm not gonna update so often. Daddy thinks it's a waste of time.. so yah.. byebye blog..
~End post~
Love is like the air we breath. It may not always be seen, but it is always felt, used and needed.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Xinle, you got that right.. u're gonna die.
Good evening starshines!! The earth says hello!!!! :D
Hello the whole wide world, I AM XINLE!!!
Peisan currently have a temperature of 38.4
(AND I AM 35.7)
She finished "raping" me before bursting out laughing
And now... SHE IS SLEEPING LIKE A PIG!!!!
I dunno how to upload pics into this stupid com,
So... No pictures of unglam + sexy Peisan :p
(hint: she is wearing short shorts and a sexy top)
Nothing big happen this few days...
Besides the fact that ALOT of ppl are sick ):
And that H1N1 is spreading like PEISAN.
Btw people, a spammer in ShiCheng tagboard is totally sick!!!!
Peisan warn me not to click liao la..
But I naughty girl ):
Go click and its like WHATTHEF***
Its the sickest thing i ever seen in my life...
That person seriously needs a punch in ITs face.
My mind is totally corrupted le... -.-
And Peisan is seriously crazy.
She kept molesting me...
Taking advantage of me!!!!!
HAHAS
I think the fever is frying her brains alr!!!
Poor thing....
People, show some concern to this poor little girl okay?
Okays... I think Peisan is gonna skin me alive when she sees this...
But its totally worth it!
HURRAYs TO XINLE~
Needa go alr.... ):
Byebyes... ):
DON'T MISS ME TOO MUCH!!!! :D
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Sunday, August 2, 2009
i wanted to go for the 10km run.. guess what? .. i got a straight no from dad. He said it as though if i go.. he will be in trouble like that. N.. i'm alone at home again.. i hate being alone at home. Damn shit.
Just talked to Shi Cheng. Well.. all i can say is.. 'nice move' Pei San. Pei San, you're such an idiot. Most likely, i'm nvr talking to him again. Cuz whenever i talk to him.. it's always the wrong timing and he's always in a bad mood then. So yeah.. maybe it's me. Maybe i made him pissed. I don't know. But i feel like he doesn't wanna talk to him. So ya.. i'm nvr talking to him again i guess. It's okay. Oh yeah.. Clarence also. Clarence is now a sir. Yeah.. nice big rank. Sir cannot be so close to juniors.. he wanna draw line i guess. Cuz he always dao me. So ya, i deleted his number and i'm nvr talking to him again unless for ncc purpose. Yup. Louisse one.. i don't know what he wants from me. He didn't care to explain.. so i don't know what changes he wants. Wan Qing.. getting better already... friends already i guess.
Anyway, earlier on.. i was on the phone with my 5th aunt( father's side ). She called at the wrong time. I was crying.. due to that conver with SC. Wadever. I notice i cry very easily now.. Nvr mind. My aunt called.. and lectured.. as usual. About my dad. And my mother.. and her family. Yup.. wasn't a nice lecture. I hated it. Summary of it.. she said that my mother's side does not study much ( quite true but she shouldn't say it ).. she told me not to trust them too much. Then on saturday.. my aunt ( from mother's side ) ask me not to trust my father's side too much. Both sides thinks i will get brainwash by the other side. I would like to ask one thing.. AM I UR PUPPET???!!? No, i'm not. I have a mind of my own. Church does not brainwash me. And no.. both sides SHOULD NOT be brainwashing me. I love both sides of the family.. but u ppl should know.. YOU SHOULDN'T BE TELLING ME STUFF THAT I DON'T WANNA HEAR. IT'S STUPID AND IRRITATING. You ppl go on and on .. on why the other side not good. But let me ask u this.. WHY ARE YOU ALL SO AGAINST EACH OTHER? WHAT THE HELL DID THE OTHER SIDE DO TO YOU? Yes, it's freedom of speech so i let both sides go on and on. What do i do? .. smile.. laugh.. and say uhmmmmmmm ... YOU THINK I AGREE? NO, I DON'T . I DON'T AGREE WITH A SINGLE SHIT U PPL SAY BECAUSE IT'S TALKING BAD ABOUT THE OTHER SIDE. So what if mother married dad although he already had a family? SO WHAT?! It's their love life. It's their family. If they didn't do it.. i wouldn't even be here. SO JUST STOP QUARRELLING WOULD U? WOULD U ALL JUST STOP IT?!?!
~End post~
Children have to pay for what their parents did wrong.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Keys in this post:
Daddy=Kelway
Real daddy= .. MY REAL DAD LAH!
Yesterday was the last rehearsal for opening ceremony. It was a awesome rehearsal. Backstage is like.. SUPER FUN!! Lol. Kelway is Xinle and my baby sitter. LOL.. Super fun sia. Hannah, Jessie and Shi Cheng was there too. So fun. Lol. Xinle kept scolding Kelway: " NVR DISCIPLINE UR DAUGHTER!" then she smack his stomach. Lol. Hannah was getting bullied backstage. Poor girl was like my puppy. Lol.. but it was super funny. I think daddy really become babby sitter le. LOL. Babysit 2 little monkeys and get disturb by Hannah also.. LOL. Oh yeah.. Maybelline was like AH(!!!!!!!!!!!) when she know that Kelway was with us. Then when she heard that he's my daddy.. she was like.. AH(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) .. Lol. Super funny. Oh yeah.. i was pissed with Josh yesterday. Seriously dislike it when ppl talk to me and talk with others.. take it as though i not there. Wth. So yeah.. I called Clarence number in order to get Josh on the line. I deleted Clarence number. Don't wanna get close to him. He drew the line.. i'm fine with it. Wadever. It's okay. Nccsea rawk on forever. Oh yeah.. i stayed at mac from 10 till 11.45pm. Then i went to the hospital cuz i didn't wanna go home and be alone again. I really.. really.. hate being alone. It's just creepy... and scary. The feeling isn't nice. My aunt comes at weekdays.. not sure if she's still coming.. but the feeling is just different. She's just.. not my mother nor my father. Well.. wadever.
Ermm.. okay.. anyway, many people around me are falling sick. In my class, 10 people didn't come to school. 2 got high fever at 1pm but didn't tell as classes were about to end thus got no point. Well.. Xinle got fever today. Charis, Jessica and Xinle.. the 3 people i always hang with are all down with fever. Jessica had high fever.. 39.1. Charis.. 38.6.. Xinle.. 37.8. Xinle got super bad sore throat now. Jessica needs to take the H1N1 test. Not sure of the results now.. haiz. Everyone falling sick.. all around me. I'm gonna be so lonely on Monday and Tuesday. Lol.. Jessica and Charis will return back to school by Wednesday if possible. Well.. yeah.. haiz. H1N1.. is like.. about to kill my friends. Stupid.
Donno what thing..
[ ] black people
[X] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[X] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
total so far: 2
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[ ] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[X] failure
[ ] success
[X] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
total so far: 4
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[X] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed/mugged
[ ] falling
[ ] clowns
[ ] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors
[ ] tornadoes (doesn't hit singapore.. no need scared)
total so far: 5
[ ] hurricanes
[X] incurable diseases
[X] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[X] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[X] being alone
[ ] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up, old
total so far: 9
[X] creepy noises in the night
[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
Total: 10
i am afraid of (10 ) out of 72 most common fears.
____________________________________________________________________
ermm.. at mac.. i thought about many stuff.. for donno what reason. Sudden mood swing. Xinle left about 10.30pm. So yeah. Well.. i thought about these..
Am i a good enough daughter?
Am i a good enough friend? Do i treat them properly(as in.. don't leave them out and stuff)?
Am i a good enough god sister? Did i care about my god brothers? Did i care about my god sisters enough?
Am i a good enough student?
Well.. i came out with the answer no. No, i'm not a good enough daughter.. no, i'm not a good enough friend, i left them out.. no, i'm not a good enough god sister.. no, i'm not a good enough student.
While.. i didn't take good care of my dad.. or else he wouldn't land in the hospital.
No, i'm not a good enough friend.. i left some of them out.. the ncc ones.. especially Wan Qing.. since she was my best friend.. well.. not anymore due to the left out thing. No, i'm not a good enough god sister.. Celine keeps emoing and Crystal fell sick. And no, i'm not a good enough student.. cuz of stupid reasons.. i neglected my studies.
Okay... WADEVER.. DAMN IT. Need to change.. need to change.. need time.. need help. And.. i'm hungry.. still nvr eat dinner.. gonna order mac. Oh yeah.. and .. Cynthia, Gladys and Wan Qing.. hope u babes enjoyed the ndp preview=D ..
Thanks Daniel for getting the paper for me although i didn't ask u =D =D =D Pass to me on Monday alright? :D Thanks thanks. Lol..
Thanks to Xinle, Kelway`daddy and Hannah for the fun at backstage. Super funny.
~End post~
Sometimes.. you can't see it.. but ur friends do. All u need is friends to pull u back up on ur feet again.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Mr Marshall Tan, I really hate you. Yes, I do. Not cause of the work you give but cause of your words. Mr Tan, ever heard what's called respect? You want respect from your students, but did you respect me when you told 1T1 about what happened to my dad? I didn't do art cause of it.. so? You want to announce to the whole world? Yes, the stories you tell are interesting.. but this time .. IT'S NOT. You are talking about ppl in OUR school. You deserves the respect cuz u're a teacher, but u gotta respect ur students by NOT telling it to the whole wide world. It's not funny. Not funny at all. I really do hate you. I MEAN EVERY WORD I SAY HERE. I HATE YOU MR MARSHALL TAN. Note, i didn't use any vulgarities.. cuz, i will respect u. Mind u, stop spreading it. It's not funny. Use some other examples. I HATE YOU AND I HEREBY ALSO HATE ART THANKS TO YOU. But i'll still do those work.. count on this.. I'M NOT TAKING ART NEXT YEAR. I no need more time to see you. I'm not interested. And i'm not interested on what you wanna say, i hereby stop caring. Respect? I'll give it to u, but i'll say that .. u do not deserve it from me. Regardless of whether u manage to read this anot, i don't care. If you do, so be it.. cuz i mean it. If u don't, doesn't matter. I seriously do not care. And i did not insult u. I just stated what i think of u.. and it's not insulting cuz it's true.
Messages:
To all:
Yes.. i'm stubborn. It's part of me. And friends.. i'll smile more.. and i'll try to stop being that bossy in some areas that i am. Sorry babes and hunks. Oh yeah.. except for detention duty. Don't count on seeing me smile there and don't count on me being nice there. Anywhere else.. just tell me alright? :D
To part B babes:
part Bs.. Sea babes.. example.. Aisyah, Cynthia, Gladys, Evelyn Lam, Evelyn Yeong, Ardilla, Syazwany.. Take care alright? Tomorrow all those in GOH, jiayou! (: All those not, have fun with part As(: ONE FOR ALL, ALL FOR ONE. Ncc sea forever as one. Take care ppl.. see you all tmr.
Netballers:
Netball is getting tougher. Training getting more difficult. Coach getting more scary.. lol. Jiayou jiayou.. can de. And remember wor.. TOGETHER, EVERYONE, ACHIEVE, MORE.. TEAM. Take care..
~End post~
Hearing your voice makes my soul cry out. Seeing your face feels like a blade stabbed into my heart. But i'll still smile and act like you're not there. Cause it's for my friends.. and for everyone else that cares. You're not worth it.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
wanna read then read.. then wanna read i don't give a shit. (Angry post.. best not to read.. )
7/29/2009 11:20:00 PMDad in hospital again.
I mood swing on Xinle.. sorry babe.
Junn Yiow thought i angry with him cuz i full blast music and didn't reply him.
I have been full blasting music into my ears but nothing is working.
I don't know if dk really cares. He doesn't seem to. All i keep telling myself is.. he's busying with O levels.. which is partly true.
I feel like ending all god bro-sis relationship.. cuz i finally realise that no one can be ur older brother cuz they are not blood related to u thus something will just go wrong. I feel like it's just a excuse to be close to someone.
Cynthia got some problem again.. haiz.. what is Xd and she? ..
WQ and I are like gone case although it seems alright.
I kept on laughing no matter how miserable i feel.. but now.. i got no emotion.. i feel like screaming.
I'm freaking tired.
I HATE ART.
I HATE LIFE.. LIFE IS TORTURE. NOT A PLACE TO BE. LIFE IS NOTHING BUT TORTURE.
And there's no such things as perfect love or perfect life. BOTH SUXS. LOVE AND LIFE SUXS.
AND F*** OFF IF U WANNA PISS ME OFF WITH F***ING STUFF.
Let me make this clear to all ppl faking around me whoever u are. FIRST THINGS FIRST. F*** OFF. Next.. Stop pissing me off. Third.. damn u. Fourth.. stop faking around my real friends. And.. WANNA FAKE SO MUCH.. GO SOMEWHERE ELSE FAKE. DON'T APPEAR IN FRONT OF ME. I GOT ENOUGH SHIT TO CARE ABOUT. I DON'T WANNA CARE ABOUT FAKE FRIEND(s). If u don't like me.. don't fake with me.. just get lost. Cuz i don't need ppl like u around me. I care about my friends and i don't fake care. So fake friend(s) .. BEAT IT. GET LOST. DISAPPEAR. VANISH!
~End post~
Wadever... just shut up ... i'm so not in the mood.. someone make me faint.. right now.. please..
Sunday, July 26, 2009
I wonder how my life will be if i hold him close to me then. Haiz.. Thoughts are coming back.. stupid stupid thoughts. I deleted his picture already.. and his best friends picture too. Yet.. it's still not working. Nvr mind.. moving on..
GAH!!^$(&#*&)@%$!@_@%$(@$!_$&_#!@!@$!!! .. FREAKING PISSED.. FREAKING IRRITATED!! GAH!! People keep ringing the darn door. I keep hearing my name get called. This is so damn tiring!! ... Daddy... faster recover lah.. leg faster don't swollen lah.. then i can rest again.
Anyway.. PEOPLE.. VOTE ON THE OTHERS PLACE. THE OPTIONS ARE STUBBORN, LAZY, EMO, FUN AND CRAZY. Lol.. Yup.. And i joined Plurk.. LOL. That's all.. and ... wee~ Lol. Daniel's birthday is coming.. cool.
~End post~
Life is SO NOT FAIR.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Bouldering rawks.. that's all i can say. Lol. It was fun. Although painful when u hit onto the wall. I was stupid enough to bang the wall.. so stupid.. Lol. Well.. Climb Asia is still better. More pictures should be taken the next time all of us go over. Alpha company~ Wee~ Lol.
Moving on.. i got tons of work to do.. yet i'm slacking off here.. lol. Will get started soon. Cannot go church.. gah.. darn it. Service should have started by now.. darn it.. i wanna go. Nvr mind.. today.. i didn't go out at all.. Dad wants me to stay home and accompany him. So yeah. I didn't go out .. didn't even go for ncc in the morning.OH YEAH.. If u ppl can notice.. there's a 'OTHERS' on the top now.. Beside the 'WISHES' .. Click on the ' OTHERS ' and go vote! Lol. Somehow.. i think the results are gonna be expected.. ahems.. yeah. Lol.~End post~
We were all given:Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find..
Birthday post
7/25/2009 12:00:00 AM
Dearest Nurul Mardiah.. today is 25 July. The sun is shining brightly and it's a beautiful day. You are a ncc cadet and a netball. You laugh alot and can be very loud. You ARE crazy. LOL.. Okay.. i'm crapping.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARDIAH!! (: (: (: You 16 years old le.. lol. Happy anot? Out with Ipin and his family?? Lol. Did anyone cake u? Lol. I hope someone did. HAHA!! Yeah.. i know i'm evil. But it's fun getting cake / caking ppl. Mostly the caking ppl part. Lol. Take care alright?.. and.. u reply sms very slow leh.. LOL. Busy till nvr reply? or no money again? Lol. Take care hor.. byebye.
Friday, July 24, 2009
DISCHARGE ALREADY!! DISCHARGE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well.. i'm super lazy to update.. i wanna sleep.. and i hope i faint. Lol. Faint le then can sleep long long. Now so many ppl at my house.. i so totally don't feel right to go shower. Daddy's leg is still swollen.
Oh yeah.. ZHIREN! THANKS FOR THE COFFEE FOR THE PAST 2 DAYS. LOL.. Can continue buying? I return u money as usual. And.. u better sleep earlier.. don't be late for school alright? ..
Next.. School was tiring.. seems so long.. Oh yeah.. i from Bravo change to Alpha again.. Zzz. Went for bouldering instead of kayaking. Somemore i bring all the kayaking stuff.. Zzz. Oh well.. wadever lah. Haqiz(act cute sir:D) is really good at it. He show off.. lol. But it worked.. it was cool. Lol. Well.. my hand hurts from grabbing the rocks now. I think rock climbing is easiler than bouldering. I had fun. (: .. and i skipped chemistry supp thanks to ncc. HAHA!
Went to Ajisen after bouldering. Awesome food. Evelyn Lam ate with me. Lol. Nice sia. Well.. tmr is gonna be tiring and i somehow just know it. Haiz.. another weekend down the drain..
~End post~
(to E)If u can't get him or her.. don't call that person a bitch/bastard unless he/she did something wrong to u and let u have that chance.. Don't be a sore loser. If me rejecting u makes me a bitch.. then what are u? Stop expecting things to go ur way. Grow up and stop being a sore loser.
(to him)Don't avoid a person unless u got no guts to face that person. You no guts isit? Avoid me for what? You admitting that u did something wrong isit? .. I trusted u.. u lied and left. I thought u were strong but u're nothing but a guy that doesn't have courage to face up when u do something wrong. You're not just a liar.. u got no guts. If u got guts which i hope u still do.. why are u avoiding me? Scared?... why are u scared when u use to smack me all the time? .. I seriously don't understand u.
(to L).. i got no guts to face u. I just don't wanna talk to u.. I don't know why too.. i just don't want to cuz i feel something will happen again. I'm staying away cuz i don't wanna lose u.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Today.. was okay i guess. Well.. Louisse didn't come to school.. Happy recovery dude. That's all i gotta say to him i guess. Anyway.. morning.. as usual.. sit with Jessie and company outside the gate. Today.. little different. I drank 2 cans of coffee instead of 1. And Jessie, as usual, called me siao. Lol. Moving on.. next .. pray with Daniel and company in the morning. I didn't pray.. i just watched because my family don't want me pray using the christian way. Well.. i was suppose to do the buddist thing for daddy... but escaped by saying i forgot how to say it. Lol. Alright.. they prayed in 30seconds time.. super funny. Today's lesson.. hmm... i enjoyed Physics, PE and HPP1. HPP1 was the best. Lol. Got some bully bully thing. Charis and I acted as the bullies.. HAHA. It was super funny. And the whole class cheered.. weird... lol. Funny.. and fun! Blablabla.. end of sch.
After school suxs. And know this ppl.. FAKING A DAMN SMILE IS DAMN TIRING. ESPECIALLY AFTER SCHOOL. Classes.. i really did enjoy some. The rest.. fake fake smile. Then.. after school.. some parts enjoy.. some parts fake. Haha. Oh yeah.. Hpp1 .. the bully thing.. sounds familiar right? Lol. Han Yang say really like real. Cuz when i scold ppl or angry that time.. sounds like that in a way. But no physical nor talk bad kinda stuff. Lol. Oh yeah.. Han Yang also told me that Mr Goh said this during physics reminder: " Aiyo!!!! Pei San nvr come AGAIN arh?! " Lol.. sorry Mr Goh.. i hereby apologize to u.
Skip skip skip.. meeting blabla.. skip skip skip. Next up.. daddy!! Hospital. Lol. Today.. i brought a little teddy bear to school. It was in my bag. Wan Zhen give me a few days ago. Well.. i brought it cuz i wanna put in daddy's room(hospital there). So yeah. Brought it over after school. First thing i go there.. kena stop again. Cuz already got 2 person inside and 2 waiting outside... all for daddy. Then i super tired. Fell asleep standing up. Nice right? Lol. The person was like.. lol. Oh yeah.. i noticed that the hospital person.. Nvr change de. And the dude outside is gonna work till 31 July only. You know.. for a young guy like him ( over sec already ) ... he kena repeat stuff alot. Lol.. Everyday i go.. he repeat the same stuff to me.. even though he already know that i know it. Well.. i woke up after awhile cuz the door open.. but sadly.. wasn't the ppl that went into daddy's room.. so wait longer. Then person got a chair for me. I dropped my books(really did.. my file also tear.. lol) and fell asleep on the chair. After 5min or so.. daddy's friend came out. Lol. They were like: " A!!!!!! Pei San!!!!!! " .. then i woke up.. and said: " Hello. " Lol. Oh yeah.. yesterday i put a little doggy toy in the room, on the television. Daddy go tell them say accompany him de. Lol. The guy on duty there just blurr blurr look at what's happening. Daddy's friend passed the card to me then i smiled and said: " Thank you! YAY! Can throw my bag inside le! " I think the person on duty thinks i'm nuts. Cuz everytime i go there.. i look like i gonna die. Lol.
OH YEAH!! DADDY DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT TEST AFTERALL!! YAY!! YAY!! HAHA!!
HAIYA!! TIRED LAH!! Back hurts.. head hurts.. to say the truth.. i have not had a good night sleep since 9 July. Cuz i fell sick on 10-12July. Darn it.. haiz.
Oh yeah.. and i learnt something:
Don't trust anyone too much and don't rely on them because when u start to do so.. u'll not stop that easily. And when u really get in trouble.. those people will not be there for u(this excludes ur bf/gf) ... so yeah. Nvr believe that anyone will be there for you. Don't count on what others say unless u're really sure of it. Sometimes.. it's just not worth it. Oh yeah.. sometimes.. it's good to experience stuff that others will nvr get to experience. Yes.. it hurts.. it might kill u... but if u can survive it.. u're becoming strong.
~End post~
You got a one way ticket out of my life. Get out of my life since u want me to get out of yours. I have learnt how to fall into a nvr ending hole because of u. All i had to do was.. take a deep breath.. cry all about it.. whine all about it.. do stupid stuff.. and then stopped everything that was anything like that. It was nvr a good path to walk.. and now i know.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Daddy is getting better.. but i can't say anything about tomorrow. Daddy told me that the hospital will be doing some tests tomorrow on him. It might cause him to go back into ICU again. Well.. i didn't cry then.. Daniel was there. The sec 4 one. I don't talk about the sec 2 one unless stated. Start remembering that ppl. Well.. yeah. Daniel, Maybelline, Xinle and Charis came to the hospital with me today. Maybelline and Xinle wanted to cry after coming out. Charis only went in for 1min cuz daddy hungry.. lol. Daniel was the third to go in(before Charis).. All of them went in with me(take turns). Daddy didn't say much to Maybelline and Xinle... but when Daniel came in.. he somehow had alot of things to say to me. He said really alot of stuff. I'm not gonna say wad. Ask Daniel( he wouldn't tell u much de lah.. haha ).
Well.. i came home at 8 plus.. wanted to go back to the hospital after packing stuff. I didn't even bother showering and already put on new uniform. Mum called.. she told me not to. Then daddy picked up and talked.. i started crying. He said if i go over.. he comes back home(meaning confirm.... die). So yeah. I didn't go over.. i donno what the hell i'm doing now. Half crying.. half laughing.. so weird. I feel like going somewhere to run now.. just run and not stop. Don't understand what the hell is happening now.. Well.. thank u Maybelline, Daniel, Xinle and Charis for coming with me today. I feel better after talking to Xinle on the phone. I'm not sleeping today.. i can't sleep. I can't sleep knowing that daddy might be in danger again. No way.. it's not possible to me to rest like that. Tmr i'll just drink more coffee. Jessie should know. She sees me drink it every morning. Well... my eyes are super red.. but yet.. i somehow think i just can't sleep. Well.. yeah. I don't understand why my family can be so complicated.
Anyway.. after mom and dad hang up.. 5th aunt called(father's side). 5th aunt called many stuff and all i said was " UHMM".. Yup.. She also said that anything i can just call her or my cousin(ni ming kor kor.. yes, the cousin that i love alot. AS A COUSIN). Well.. i was still crying so all i said was uhmm. I think she shouldn't be able to hear that i was crying. Lucky. Oh yeah.. i heard Ni Ming kor kor's voice in the background. Anyway.. called Xinle after that. She wanna come over right now.. but she not sure if she can. Most likely cannot. So yeah.. it's okay. Al0ne at home.. home really doesn't seem like home already. Seems more like a hotel.
Ermm.. i'm tired. I wanna exercise.. need to destress. I wanna go rock climbing and climb my heart out. I just found out Alan kor kor(cousin) got rock climbing level 1 also. Next time can go climb with him.. Although i scared belay him... lol. I scared i kill him :S Must be safety belayer de. Lol. So yeah.. must careful. Although.. i think he trust me for to belay him.. does he? Lol. Moving on... TIRED!!!! GAH!! I WANNA SLEEP!! I'M TIRED!! I DONNO WHAT TO DO NOW!! GAH!!!! Gah.. wadever.. nvr mind.
~End post~
I've learned... that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUISSE..
This is short and simple and i already said everything i wanted to say in the sms..
Saturday, July 18, 2009
First things first... HE IS MY FATHER.. I REPEAT.. MY FATHER! So WHY THE HELL ARE U TALKING BAD WHEN I DON'T GO FOR 1 DAMN DAY. DO YOU PPL HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN THERE?!?! DO YOU KNOW THAT EVERYDAY AFTER SCHOOL I'LL GO?!?!?! SO WHY THE HELL ARE U PPL TALKING BAD CUZ I DIDN'T GO TODAY??? SAY I GO OUT LEARN BAD?!?!?! LEARN WHAT SHIT BAD??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!??! ... Why are u ppl thinking so much? I WENT TO CHURCH HAPPY?!?! I WENT TO CHURCH! NOT HAPPY RIGHT? .. COME KILL ME THEN. Zzz.. I didn't tell u ppl cuz if u all find out... u all will kill me. SO WHAT?! SO WHAT IF I COME FROM A TOTALLY BUDDIST FAMILY??!?! SO WHAT!?!? And.. WHY THE FUCKING HELL ARE U PPL TALKING BAD ABOUT MY MOTHER?!?! YOU THINK MY MOTHER STUPID?!?! DAMN U. DAMN U ALL!!!!! SERIOUSLY.. if all u ppl can do now is insult my mother then.. FUCK OFF!!! AND THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME GOING TO CHURCH!! DADDY'S CONDITION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME GOING TO CHURCH! JUST FUCK OFF!! I BEG U. I CAN'T STAND U ALL!! I CAN'T STAND U ALL THINKING THAT EVERYTHING IS CUZ OF ME GOING TO CHURCH!! I CAN'T STAND THAT U ALL THINK THAT IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF ME AND MY MOTHER! STOP INSULTING ME AND MY MOTHER! HE'S MY DAD AND THIS IS MY FAMILY! STOP INSULTING MY FAMILY CUZ U DON'T KNOW A SINGLE THING ABOUT IT... I'M NOT LEARNING BAD FOR ANYONE ALRIGHT?!?! I'M NOT SMOKING NOR AM I DRINKING!! SO FUCK OFF IF ALL U PPL CAN DO IS INSULT MY MOTHER AND ME! DADDY WILL BE ALRIGHT AND DADDY WILL PULL THROUGH!!!!! UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF MY LIFE IF ALL U CAN DO IS JUST THINK BAD OF ME! I DON'T CARE IF THIS IS A DISRESPECTFUL BEHAVIOUR TO YOU PPL SINCE U ARE ALL MY AUNTS.. I REALLY DON'T GIVE A SHIT SINCE U INSULTED MY MOTHER AND SAID SHE WAS STUPID. YOU PPL ARE MORE STUPID THAN HER SINCE U DON'T KNOW HOW TO TREAT HER RIGHT!!!!!!! LET ME ASK U THIS.. SO WHAT IF MUMMY IS THE 2ND WIFE OF DADDY.. SO WHAT!!!!!!!! DADDY LOVES MUMMY AND MUMMY LOVES DADDY. THAT'S ALL THAT MATTER! IT'S LOVE!! IT'S NOT A LAW! SO FUCK OFF!! STOP INSULTING MY MOTHER. ESPECIALLY NOT IN FRONT OF ME! BLOODY HELL.. I REALLY DON'T CARE.. I SERIOUSLY DON'T CARE!! SO WHAT!?!?! SO WHAT!!!!!! I didn't go for 1 damn day.. is that a crime??? I'm tired.. i'm really tired.. do u all know that!?!?!?!?!?! You ppl come then go for few hours.. I FROM SCHOOL GO THERE AND STAY TILL LATE LATE.. I TRY TO SMILE AND ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS STILL FINE EVEN THOUGH I FEEL LIKE CRAP INSIDE. YOU THINK I WANT DADDY TO LIE THERE?!?! YOU THINK I'M REALLY HAPPY THAT DADDY IS THERE!?!?! HE'S MY FATHER!! I REPEAT, HE'S MY FATHER!! AND I LOVE MY FATHER!!!!!!!!! SO ALL U ALL CAN DO IS INSULT MY MOTHER AND ME THEN FUCK OFF!! I REALLY DON'T CARE IF THIS IS DISRESPECTFUL!! CUZ IT'S ALL TRUE!! I'M REALLY EXHAUSTED.. I REALLY AM. Please.. just stop it.. stop it all. Why are u ppl so wth about me not going for one day.. it's saturday.. daddy is getting better and has moved to general ward.. i know he's okay.. so why do u ppl want me to go there and sit for 14 hours crying?? WHY?!?!?! SERIOUSLY.. WHY?!?!?!?! I'M SO DAMN PISSED BY THE FACT THAT U ALL INSULTED MY MOTHER AND THE FACT THAT U ALL DON'T TRUST ME!!!!!! So what if u are my aunt or my uncle? SO WHAT? THAT DOESN'T GIVE U THE RIGHT TO INSULT MY MOTHER! Let me make this clear.. i did not learn bad alright? I DID NOT LEARN BAD. So what if i use the f word? Do i use it in front of u all?? No right? No.. i don't use it to u all .. but this time.. it's different. I always respected u all.. i always thought that wadever u all said were right since u all came from my dad's side and are all very very very smart. But really.. it's doesn't give u the right to insult my mother. IT DOESN'T GIVE U THE RIGHT TO INSULT MY MOTHER!
To aunts that have insulted my mother.
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Moving on.. today was awesome(: (: (: I woke up at 12pm. Finally.. a good night sleep after so long. Anyway.. Went to bus stop and reached bus stop at 2.20pm. Daniel called: " WHERE ARE U? " Lol.. he impatient or worried?? :S Hmm.. i wonder.. lol. Then... Waited for the bus for like 20min.. and reached beauty world at 2.50pm. Daniel came down to find me.. then we went to level 19 of the i donno what. Church office. SO COLD. AND THE LIFT IS SO SLOW.. lol. While... after that.. service time(: (: (: (: (: Even more awesome. This is like the first time i started jumping during worship. Maybe cuz there's a jumping Daniel beside me and a bouncing Shi Cheng in front of me.. lol. It was awesome..the feeling was awesome. I really did feel good. Today.. nvr fake smile at all.. don't have to.. cuz i was really happy. Anyway.. the worship songs.. those sad ones.. well.. i did cry.. lol. It was awesome.. really awesome. AND NO.. i'm not brainwashed.. i'm going on my own will.
I wish my family can change their mindset so i can go in PEACE and come back without dying. If they actually find out i go to church.. i'll die. So yeah.. since daddy is in hospital.. i managed to go. And i felt it was okay since daddy has moved to general ward. Well.. yeah. Daddy will be fine.. and i wish he will pull through.. which i really think he will. Well.. nothing is impossible. Yeah? Agree? Lol. Tired lah.. so damn tired.. in 20min time is someone's birthday le.. i didn't get him any present this year.. in fact.. this year i didn't buy anyone any present.. sorry ppl. This year i will not buy any present... although i will hug u if u wanna.. so long as i actually wanna.. i will( Guys are excluded.. i'll kick ur ass if u wanna. You want? LOL.. guys want hug.. ermm... abit weird don't u think? .. But actually can depending on who it is.. haha ). Lol.
Service ended at 7 plus.. went to eat. Finish eating at 8 plus.. went home. Well.. i need to thank someone today.. DANIEL FROM SEC 4.. Thank you so much for accompanying me all the way today. Lol.. and.. stop throwing everything in ur hand.. later ur phone let u throw till spoil. Alright.. thank u Daniel for sitting beside me all the way.. And the service thing.. thank u for praying for me. Oh yeah.. starting of service that time.. they said: " hold the hand of the ppl beside u that u are comfortable with and pray together with them. " Then like.. everyone around was holding hands and praying.. then Daniel just pray solo.. i stand there pray awhile then look around.. super funny.. then he suddenly turn and start praying for me. Was kinda scary.. but nice. Thanks Daniel.. Lol. That's all folks.. and remember..
WISH THE BIRTHDAY BOY HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. IN 20 MIN TIME!!!
~End post~
There will always be people you can't believe you were friends with, boys you can't believe you kissed, and people you can't believe you lived without... people change but if you're lucky that none can change u like how one changed me.
Friday, July 17, 2009
updates
7/17/2009 09:49:00 PM- Daddy is recovering(: But still in ICU. Daddy can talk already(: but not very clear. N very soft..
- I feel freaking tired and i hope i can just faint now. Someone make me faint can? ... Nazirul's method need another person de.. Lol.
- REALLY DAMN TIRED... REALLY REALLY DAMN TIRED.
- LALALALALA.. i'm not in GOH.. LALALALA ... i'm tired... LALALALALA ... life suxs... LALALALA... so much work... LALALALALA... i'm so not in the mood for blogging.
- Quarrelled with a dude yesterday and yeah.. wadever. Doesn't matter anymore. He's sick now.. hope he gets well soon and his birthday is coming in 2 days time. Congrats.
And.. LIFE IS HORRIBLE.. I wonder when this stupid roller coaster will end.
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School for today... was okay bah. Art that time, i was torturing Han Yang.. cuz he pull my hair. Then walking up to class that time.. i kicked his ass... got the shoe mark.. HAHAHAHA. During Mother Tongue reading... no teachers already.. Siaddarth started dancing in front of my table.. so irritating. So i said to Charis after he stopped : " If he do it one more time.. i'm gonna smack him. " Then he started dancing again.. i walked to the dustbin and picked out the broom. The whole class noticed. Then i smacked his behind with the broom. Damn funny sia. Whole class laugh like crap.. they still cheer. So evil. Lol.. But year. It was fun. Hcl class was boring like crap. LALALA... the rest.. don't care lah. DONE.
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TO ALL PART Bs NCCSEA THAT WENT FOR LEVEL 1 ROCK CLIMBING ( ALPHA ) : CONGRATS babes and hunks.. WE ALL PASS THE TEST!!(: (: (: All of us got level 1 rock climbing already! YAY!!.. Lol. When u all wanna go climb again? I so wanna go climb.. oh yeah.. and.. genting has the highest rock climbing wall in malaysia.. AHH!!! I WANNA GO!! Lol.
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Alrighty... done.. bye bye.. shower time. Wish i can sleep for 20 hours straight sia..
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
updates on daddy.. and what i have been up to
7/14/2009 09:23:00 PMALL WILL BE NAMED WITH SHORTCUTS AS IT WILL BE EASIER TO UNDERSTAND THAT WAY.
Alright.. yesterday.. is the day i break my record of crying.. AGAIN. I cried 3 hours straight. Yesterday at 11 plus.. my aunt W called. I didn't pick up.. was in class.. didn't know. My phone was on total silent, no vibration. At 1pm.. after all lessons ended.. i walked down.. chat with Daniel, Junn Yiow, Jessica and Charis.. While talking.. i took out my phone. Saw the first message and i ran down. Read the rest of the messages and i started crying. Freaked out.. walked around amd called aunt W. She say daddy got emergency and got into ICU.. she told me to go over as fast as possible. I hung up. Cried even more. Charis, Jessica, Junn Yiow and Daniel caught up. They are the first to know what happened. Rushed to hospital with another Aunt(BB) and uncle(BB). Tears was streaming down my face while i rushed there. Rushed into the ICU place.. but couldn't go in.. they were trying to save daddy. Was informed that daddy's heartbeat stopped for a period, that was why he got sent into ICU. Well.. all i gotta say is.. ICU is a scary place. When the doctor were talking to the family members in the meeting room.. i still continued sobbing. I don't think the rest noticed during that period. The doctor says the death rate is higher than the survival rate. Right after that line.. i walked out of the room. The whole room was silent. When everyone came out.. they were like crying. I missed 2min of the meeting.
Well... daddy's kidney, liver and heart got problem. Yes, it's dangerous.. very dangerous. But.. today.. daddy got better. Although he's still not totally awake. And still in ICU. Went over to westmall mac and reached at 5pm as i was chased out of the hospital by my aunts..Zzz. Josh`kor came to accompany me. Chat with me... made me laugh. And.. JOSH IS CRAZY (: (: (: Lol.. All my friends are.. haha. Well... about 5.30pm.. Yi Ren came. He saw me and avoided. He wanted to sit inside but froze when he saw me and sat elsewhere. His girlfriend saw me and understood what was happening. I had no feeling to it. Yi Ren was the one doing the avoiding.. not me. LOL. See them that way... i had fun. Left at 6pm with Josh.. Just nice when pass by Yi Ren and his babe that time.. i shouted at Josh " STUPID IDIOT! " .. sounded like as if i was scolding Yi Ren. Oh well.. nvr mind.. it wasn't meant for him. Although i wanna slap him but nvr mind.. it's all over now. Well.. all i can think about is daddy.
Went to pick Josh's little brother up. He's so cute lah. Lol.. this is the 4th time i went to pick him up together with Josh i think. Today then he know my name. Lol.. Anyway.. He's called Shi Wei. Super cute.. he in p3 now. Shi Wei.. Drink more water hor.. you better drink more water. Alright.. entered the condo.. went to the squash court to calm myself down. Ben was there and he warned me that Darryl was there.. but i said it was okay. Was at the squash court from 6.30pm to 7.30pm. Watched Warren, Benedict and the rest play + train. I miss squash. Enjoyed watching them play.. it calmed me down alot. Well.. Darryl saw me, he was happy.. Zzz. He isn't over it.. he's not letting go.. it's obvious. Nvr mind.. came home.. feed the fishes till 9 plus. The 2k fish is sick... the 8k one is alright but might fall sick soon. Mum came back at 9.45pm. Was informed that daddy reacted to her talking. And daddy nodded his head. He wanted to sit up.. but could not. Daddy still can't talk at all.. in fact.. he's still 'sleeping'. Others talked to daddy.. daddy's hand moved. When mummy talked to daddy.. he nodded. Mummy asked daddy to come around soon.. daddy nodded. Daddy, i trust u.. please wake up.. I cannot take care of this house.. i cannot take care of ur fishes.. i cannot take care of all the bills... and more importantly.. i cannot take care of mummy alone.
Anyway, the news is spreading like wild fire. Really.. it is. Many are praying for me and dad, ppl.. i thank u for that.. really. Well.. yeah.. special thanks to Daniel(sec 4 hor.. all Daniel stated in my blog is the sec 4 one unless stated otherwise).. Xinle.. and Jessica. Well.. ppl.. if u wanna know what's going on.. ask around. Don't ask me personally.. i will be freaking pissed with u. Well.. i'm feeling alot better now knowing that daddy nodded to that line.
Now, after school.. i'll rush over to the hospital. Will get chased home by my aunts.. so i will come home to shower. Shower and do computer work already.. then i will rush back to hospital. The only thing keeping me awake is coffee. And the only thing keeping me alive is daddy. Daddy, you must pull through. Oh yeah.. and Thank you Yi Xin jie jie(cousin) for ur house key. I'll go over to sleep tomorrow bah. And.. did u tell jiu mu that u passed me the keys? ..Later she see me there, she scream. Lol.. N.. thank u Wan Zhen for ur gift. It cheered me up. Well.. yeah. That's all about daddy... if i got time.. i'll update more if i do have info.
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~End post~
I've learned... that you should always leave loved ones with loving words or u will regret it.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Blurr picture. Lol.. That's my 2 sisters(: Same father; different mother. No, we don't live together. I know about them when i was 4 years old.
That's my nephew!! (: So cute right?!?! Lol.. He's my oldest sister's son.
Bird nest.. for daddy. But daddy is in the hospital now.. haiz..
daddy's fish! The smaller one.. this one.. cost more than 2k bah.
Giant catfish! That fish is so fat.. eat so much.. lol.
This is the whole tank.. got 2 fishes in this tank only. Lol..
More flowers for daddy.. and more essense of chicken.
more flower..
and again..
and again..
pretty yeah? Daddy grow de..
Stingray!! (: (: (: I love this stingray.. it's so cute...
This 'baby' cost more than 8k.. i love this 'baby'. Now all the fishes and flowers are under my care..
This is the whole tank. The bigger tank lah.. (:
You just gotta love those fishes..
Onion??
Daddy grow de..
Pretty~
Underwater? ... Lol.
Daddy in toy version!!! (: (: (:
Prize!! Won by daddy..
More chicken essences..??
Prizes by me..
Another different one.. with daddy's golf one.
Alright.. there's some pictures here. Of the fishes.. and the toy daddy. Haiya.. 3 days i nvr see daddy le.. haiz. I hope daddy is okay. Anyway.. i heard his liver got problem and his blood dirty. Gosh.. anyway.. i'm not planning to sleep today. Gonna do all my homework. My aunt is staying at my house now. To take care of my mother when i'm out. Well.. yeah. Mummy is tiring herself out. Everyday go hospital and reach at 9am.. go back at 9pm. Haiz.. So yeah.. i'm practically alone at home everyday. Few more days to Louisse's birthday.. well.. doubt will celebrate with him. I hope he has fun and may he has anything that he wants.. hope he gets good results for O levels. Jiayou Louisse.Thank you Kabod. Especially Daniel. Thanks alot Daniel(: (The sec 4 one) .. Yeah.. Thanks Daniel. N .. thanks to all the ncc ppl that ate dinner with me yesterday. N to Josh and Maybelline who are always there. To Mr B for being my listening ear. Thanks to Celine and Fanna for waiting to help me.. but somehow i nvr ask them.. lol.. sorry..N lastly.. Daddy, please pull through this rubbish that u're going through. Daddy.. please be okay. I'll go see you tmr if i can. Daddy.. please.. please.. please pull through. And rest well in the hospital. And remember this.. IT'S NOT A HOTEL.. SO STOP SAYING YOU STAYING IN HOTEL.. come out soon. Well.. you can't see this ... but still... Daddy.. i really do love you. And i'm sorry that i disappointed you with my results. Well.. yeah.. that's all then. Signing off here..
~End post~
The night was bright, with a starlit sky. I sat and thought as time passes by. Starry night with a moonlit sky.. Take me away and tell me why. Give me a reason for why I lost a friend.. A very important friend.. I sat and thought.. Thought all night long. But no answers were given.. No questions were answered.
update
7/12/2009 02:44:00 PMOn Thursday, got rashes in the morning. Oh yeah.. and the calligraphy ink landed on my shirt. Lucky only a little. The jacket managed to cover it. The rashes were super itchy but i didn't bother that much. End of school.. then got math remindal. Then english oral. Ms Ngiam took my class, index 1 to 10. Jia Xing came late.. but just in time. Lol. After everything.. i was with Josh, Maybelline and Fanna. Fanna had fun. Lol.. we were like nuts. N.. Mr Chun thinks i was spying on him because we were opposite his class. Outside the staff room. Lol. Went home..blabla.
Friday.. woke up at 5 plus.. rashes still there.. super itchy and a little pain. Didn't go to school.. go see doctor. Got injection and disguisting medicines. 2 pills, donno what cream and donno what liquid. Haiya.. horrible taste lah the pill. I missed GOH because of it. Sad.. now i not in GOH but nvr mind.. at least the rest are in. I also missed 3 darn tests. English compo test, History source based questions test.. and Higher Chinese stupid book test.
Saturday.. Went to school. The GOH training. I'm out of it. Yeah.. Then.. Ms Yee called Clarence. Clarence went blurr and told me to go down and talk to Ms Yee. She told me to go for rock climbing cuz Bravo company got too many ppl. So yeah... went for rock climbing. Surprisingly.. i had a blast. Climbed 3 times.. reached the top twice. Cynthia climbed 5 times, she reached up twice. She reached the hardest one. So cool lah. Lol.. Oh yeah.. When coming down the third climb.. i screamed abit. Lol. Thanks to SALMAN!! ... He's so evil. Lol. He did more to Nasyitah. Lol. When coming down.. he like... made it super fast. So like yeah... scary lah. Nasyitah scream alot. Haha. Oh yeah.. and.. sorry to Salman .. :X
Nas to me: Your brother biased lah!! Say u faster than me!!
Me: Whose's my brother?
Nas: Ermm... Salman?
Me: Huh?
Salman was beside..
Me: Oh. HI SALMAN!
Salman : *smile*
Nas: *blurr*
Alright.. let me say this first.. I broke tie with Salman already.. for some reasons.. well yeah. He's fine with it. I'm also fine with it. So yeah. He's not my bro already.. but still a awesome friend and senior(: (: (: Okay.. after rock climbing.. i went totally nuts and not sure where to go. Didn't know if i should go to NUH or westmall to eat with the rest. In the end.. still went to westmall since daddy didn't want me to go over to NUH. After eating and everything.. it was about 8plus. Went on the bus... called Josh. Check if he had any of my work. And no.. lol.. all my work was with Xinle cuz Josh went home early on Friday. On the bus.. like... worried.. wanna cry... and i did. Kor said that daddy didn't want me to go over to NUH as there are some things there that i shouldn't see. I didn't understand what that meant at all.. but it sounds scary. So yeah.. reached the bus stop.. alighted. Sat there and day dream ( more like night dream ) .. dream dream dream then i called mum again. Mummy was still at hospital with daddy and Pearlyn jie jie( same father; different mother). Ermm.. not sure if Angeline jie jie was there. While.. after day dreaming.. i went to the guard house. Sat there and dream some more. Wait for mum and jie. Mummy and jie came 20min later. So i think i dream at the bus stop for 10 min and at the guard house area for 20 min. Nice... Reached home at 9pm. Then i saw the fishes and flowers and started shouting..
I was going.. : " FISH!!! FLOWERS!!! AHH!!!! DIE!!! NVR FEED!!! NO WATER!!!! "
Then i told my mum to water the plants... and i prepared the fish food. Those fishes.. are not the normal kind. The normal fish food.. easy to feed lah. Feed abit of that.. then prepare the prawns.. cut and everything. And the superworms. Yes.. the superworms are ALIVE. One landed on me ... gross. And the other fish food dropped on me. Then prawn also.. yuk. I'm so glad the prawn didn't drop into my mouth. Lol..ermm.. yeah. I took 30min feeding those fishes. Got 2 tanks. 1 tanks.. the fish.. cost more than 8k. The other fish in the other tank cost more than 2k. N there are also catfish and stingray in the tanks.. Cool right? Lol.. i didn't enjoy feeding them.. i enjoyed watching them eat. It was cool. One day i'll feed them 2 times.. if got school...then they too bad lah.. they only can eat 1 meal. So yeah. Haiz.. Cuz mummy don't know how to feed them. Must cut the prawn.. remove some stuff.. must cut donno what meat.. and the superworm and the fish food. So complicated. It was cool.
Okay.. Next up.. SUNDAY. I woke up at 12 plus. Then Xinle called. Her eyes are swollen. I alreadyh know the homework. So yeah.. she not meeting me. Xinle.. hope u're alright.. Better get ur eyes better soon. Oh yeah... the rashes are still not gone. Right side of my face got abit.. Right hand have.. and both legs have. Lol. I better go eat the medicine.. the disguisting taste.. Gah. Nvr see daddy for 3days le.. i hope he's okay.
Moving on.. ROCK CLIMBING RAWKS. I'm so gonna climb somemore.. lol. I wanna climb more.......... Lol. My hand hurts.. but still... Lol. Level 1 rock climbing!!!!!!! WEEE!!! ~~ (: (: (: Alright.. that's all.. sayonara.
~End post~
A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.
Friday, July 10, 2009
nothing to be happy about
7/10/2009 08:24:00 PMDaddy got into hospital. My aunts got him to go for check up and the doctor wants him to stay *sad*
I got rashes and got darn injection *sad*
I missed 3 test thus my results is gonna be pulled down *sad*
I missed GOH selection today *sad*
I'm having some darn conflicts on my hand now.. * sad *
_____________________________________________________________________
Thrash out session is on Friday. After training. 2 middleman will be present. The two middleman does not know anything much.. they just know there's conflicts. Everyone that has something to say.. please do come. I'll be there.. that's for sure. Wan Qing... it's up to u.. but know this.. i'm not letting 7 years of friendship die like that. It's really up to u. If u wanna let it die.. i can't do anything. It's a 2 way thing.. it always was.
happy and sad
7/10/2009 12:11:00 PMDaddy don't need go hospital stay *happy*
I got rashes.. *sad*
I didn't go school school *sad* .. i missed 2 darn test.. damn it.
I gonna miss GOH selection.. * very sad*
My medicine cost $89... and a stupid injection too... darn it lah. GOH selection gone case already... haiz.. wth. Like.. seriously.. so many other day can be sick.. why today?!?!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I only got 7 words to say...
Dad, I beg you to be okay.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
To Cynthia( some to Gladys and Aisyah) .. and one small part for Louisse.
7/08/2009 08:53:00 PMTo Cynthia ( and some to Gladys ) ..
Babe, first things first.. i didn't spread anything to my class. Only Agnes, Charis and Vivien or Hannah knows about the blog fight. The rest, maybe the read from my blog. But no.. i didn't tell them anything. And u should know everything about the blog fight is in super small font to distract them.. so not many bother to read except for u all. Next.. it's not that i don't wanna listen.. it's just i'm super sick of so on and so for. I'm fine with what u said. But u need to know this.. about the admin work things.. I DID NONE. There was no admin work.. if there were... i would have told u all. It's all relay system and stuff.. So yeah.. obviously just send to some of u.
The hating thing.. well.. u ppl said u all are starting to hate me. So yeah.. i wrote starting to hate me. N .. that time the u in front of me but i nvr see thing.. I REALLY DIDN'T SEE YOU. I was thinking of stuff.. Girl.. someone was talking to me and i totally did not hear that person... how do u expect me to notice u?
N if i really ignore u all.. i would have done so long ago. Not just once the blog fight start. I'm super sick of blog fight and wadever rubbish.. n u ppl are actually having fun? .. Well.. i'm not having fun with blog fight. Maybe just Wan Qing is.. cuz i don't think u and Gladys are having fun with it. Cynthia.. the way u withdrew.. the tagboard thing.. totally suxs... so rude. Lol. Aisyah is totally not involve so yeah.
If i ignored u all... i practically ignored everyone. You should know that i'm super sick of blog fight or quarrels. In fact.. i hate it. Really hate it. It has happened more than 3 times already.
Your parents cannot recognise me.. alamak.. that one.. i got nothing to comment.. I was running everywhere and when i saw them.. i just thought of u. So yeah.. i went up to them and talked to them. Didn't introduce myself as i thought they already know who i am. But nvr mind. I told them where u were and they said they wanted to talk to Mr Azhar.. So yeah.. i told them to hold on and ran off looking for Mr Azhar. Blablabla.. so on so for.
N.. i'm not blaming u all for my father sick thing nor my mother wadever.. That has totally NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ALL. It's all happening at the same time alright? So yeah.. it's part of my problems.
N today.. i totally ignored u all.. that i know.. DUH. Like hello.. blog fight, fight till like that.. u think i still wanna go up front.. act like nothing happened? <_<">
Today.. u should know i also wanted to change group. I saw that u became in Alpha group and all.. then blurr lah.. so like duh.. blog fight.. fight till like crap.. what for create more chances to fight right? .. so yeah. Anyway.. now i'm in Bravo group. So yup.. we'll still have Friday training together mah(:
N.. others don't know anything.. they didn't side me. They just went: "wth.. again...why always like that.. " ...
N.. i know u all do care.. and i know i didn't spend any quality time with u all since the year started. Aunt Cynthia and Ah ma Gladys ah... I just wakey from my nightmare leh. Lol. I just got over him and the slashing rubbish on my birthday.. 30 June.. this year. And then.. u all suddenly come up with one blog fight.. haiz. Then everything start again. And yes... i know i'm super stubborn.. hello... i have been stubborn since i was young. Really.. lol. But last time i nvr argue with u all or wadever.. cuz there was no need to. And the demand thingy.. wadever that is.. haiya.. donno lah. Also donno what happened. Usually is just happy happy then play play.. joke joke.. then nudge u all or something.
But hello.. after so many things happened.. u should at least give me awhile more to go back to that.. and.. my dad is still sick. Imagine.. every night.. come home.. hear ur dad go on and on about ur studies.. then he ask if u can take care of ur home and stuff. Then when u studying or playing com.. You hear ur dad coughing like crap. Then every meal he eats.. he only eats like 1/4 of what people usually eat. N even he says that if he continues doing that.. he will not survive. Then every night.. u try doing ur work.. try taking it as nothing is wrong.. But when u hear ur dad cough again.. How would u feel? Then every night.. u try to sleep.. wake up in the morning.. the whole house is totally quiet and dark. You totally don't feel like going to school yet u drag urself there as it is a must. Go to school.. u smile.. act like everything is totally okay. Smile through the day... ( and sleep through some lessons :X) ... then stay in school till like 5 plus just cuz u don't wanna go home and be alone again. Yes.. it's stupid.. but it's true. Well.. yeah.. how would u feel?
Yeah.. i did tell my problems to some ppl.. but just not u all.. since the blog fight has started and stuff. I wouldn't tell qq.. she would say: " You think i care? " .. so yeah.. i didn't tell u( Cynthia ) .. well yeah.. as i didn't really talk to u much. I didn't tell u( Gladys ).. as.. i usually only tell u face to face what.. everything also face to face with u de mah. And i didn't expected the both of u to even be in the blog fight. And know this.. NO MATTER HOW FAR THE DISTANCE IS BETWEEN US PHYSICALLY.. IT DOESN'T CHANGE IN THE HEART UNLESS U WANT IT TO. And.. i didn't let it nor want it. Wan Qing de.. well.. maybe it's totally over.. since it's all up to her. Well.. every single quarrel.. every single time we made each other unhappy.. i did think.. was it my fault? But yeah.. over and over again.. it happens. Every single time.. I was the one to say sorry or wadever. But not this time.. not to her. Cuz i didn't do her wrong. Yes, i know i didn't spend quality time with her too.. but i ask u.. how to? ..
N the cutting thing.. it wasn't to gain any damn attention.. it just happened. N i got hooked up on it. I stopped.. for 1 to 2 months.. but every single time something gones wrong.. that though will come back. If i wanted to die.. i would have done so long ago. Same goes to ignoring u all.. if i wanted to.. i would have done so long ago. N like u all said.. I wouldn't even bother replying if i don't care. I wouldn't be trying to make everything alright once a quarrel starts out. I didn't blame u.. i didn't dislike u. I nvr did dislike the both of u ( Cynthia and Gladys ).
Cynthia.. thanks for dropping out of the stupid blog fight since there's no point continuing. N if u all wanted to talk.. u shouldn't even have put it as BLOG FIGHT... u could just say a message to blah blah... and not U-KNOW-WHO.
Oh yeah.. and no one said u all are heartless or anything. Personally.. i think it's childish. Really.. i do. But i somehow know it was my fault ... since i really didn't spend any quality time with u all. Well.. yeah. I'm done with what i gotta say.. and Gladys.. if u wanna continue the blog fight after this.. then i got nothing to comment already. N.. i'm sorry if u 2 or 3( includes Aisyah ) felt left out or outcast from my life. I am sorry for that. Cuz it is true that i did left u 2 or 3 out. Well... yeah. But.. i also did left everyone else out... except Charis. Lol. She's my study buddy.. and we are in the same class.. so it's kinda impossible to leave her out.
Yes.. many things happened.. and i hope the stupid blog fight will end here. I think that blog fight is stupid, childish.. and not the right words to use between friends. So yah. It ends here. If u ( Gladys ) wanna continue it.. i got nothing to say.. really nothing to say. Wan Qing.. i got nothing to say... it happened once too many times.. n since she thinks i bribe the seniors or wadever.. i even more got nothing to say. N as she thinks that my problems are craps or wadsoever.. how would i tell her anything? .. Well.. she don't treasure this friendship from my point of view.. cuz really.. once too many time.. i tried.. i failed. Done. Gladys, Cynthia( and Aisyah; not included in blog fight but included in some issues) .. it ends here. I'm sorry that i left u all out. N babes.. if u all wanna go out.. TRY ASKING>_<>
_____________________________________________________________
Message to L: ...Dao me through electronic.. i dao u virtual. Lol. Yes.. i know i'm childish.. and i should grow up. No lah.. joking lah.. like.. Zzz.. i don't know why i give u the title.. but nvr mind. I don't wanna dao u already. Starting from tmr.. it's a new life. I don't know why.. but something pulled me through.. i don't know what it is too. N.. YOU BETTER STOP DAOING PPL THROUGH SMS NOR MSN. So rude.. tsk. I gonna talk to u starting from tmr.. not till ur O levels. N.. if i do dao u from time to time.. just ignore me and take it as i'm jealous or i think u have too many ppl around u so i think i not needed. Alright? Take care.. And study hard!! You better get good results for ur O levels!!!! (: (: (: Yup.. take care alright? You can have all the space u want.. i don't really care anymore.. really. Lol.
____________________________________________________________________
Ermm... my life stuff.. i not posting in this post.. this post is long enough.. lol. Well.. I'm tired. Tmr got Oral.. Friday got GOH selection.. My mood is good enough now... hopefully will do well. May one and all do well for tmr's English stupid Oral Examinations. And may all deserving cadets get into GOH contingent. I hope i don't sleep in lesson tmr.. Bye now. Sayonara~
~End post~
Everyone leaves footprints in your memory, but the ones that leave footprints in your heart are the ones you will truly remember.
Monday, July 6, 2009
talking to myself
7/06/2009 10:20:00 PMPei San, grow up. Fucktard.. Pei San u bloody idiot. Pei San.. what good are u to this world? Why are u still living? You useless piece of rubbish. Results bullshit. Cannot take good care of ur father. Allow ur mother to get depression. Let one ass make u emo for 7months. Make all ur friends upset. Pei San... go and die lah.. just go and die.. then not so many ppl so pissed already right? .. Fucking fucktard. Fuck off earth lah. Bloody bitch. Bitch ass.. know this.. know it well. You are the cause of everything that is happening in ur own life now. So fucking bitch.. know that it's ALL UR FAULT. Bitch.. fuck off all ur friends life lah. Why u making them hate u so much? .. Disappear from their life lah... You bloody bitch ass.. you just don't understand what's called grow up.. Do you? .. No, u don't. Look what's happening to urself now. Look .. u're useless.. useless to ur parents.. useless to this world. Just one more thing u have to do now. Don't leave daddy and mummy.. but when they leaves u... u can leave the world.. cuz nothing else is worth living for. Pei San.. u're just a bloody stubborn idiot. So be a dear.. and fuck off their lives.. all of their lifes.. just like how u fucked off his life. Damn u Pei San.. Damn u.. Damn u for everything u caused. Damn u for those memories u left with others. You should just disappear.. just disappear.. N... DAMN U ... SERIOUSLY.. DAMN U PEI SAN.. DAMN U FOR LIVING.. DAMN U FOR EXISTING. DAMN U FOR MAKING UR FATHER UPSET. DAMN U FOR PISSING UR FRIENDS OFF. DAMN U BIG TIME. You bloody zero.. u trying act hero isit? .. Fucktard.
Wee~ Well.. life still goes on. I still gotta say. LIFE ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU; IT'S ALSO ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. Someone told me these.. and everyone should know that. Anyway, daddy is still really sick. He's like eating 6pills after every meal and also some black rubbish that smells horrible. Like... gosh.. And even with all those rubbish.. he's still not getting better. It's been 8 days already. This isn't good at all. And he keep talking bullshit. What if he go donno what donno what. Oh yeah.. but he said some stupid lame things today again.. which kinda cheered me up cuz it somehow means he's good enough to joke around.
Daddy: " Eh, mummy(my mother), if u and i go separate ways.. who baobei(me) follow? "
Mother: " Don't talk!! I want watch tv! "
Daddy: " Baobei, who u wanna follow if we go separate ways? "
Me: " Haiya! What lah! Everyday also go separate ways what! Lol.. Every day mummy come back then u go Jurong Point work. You come back then mummy go Lot 1 work. Everyday also seperate ways what! Follow what thing!! "
Daddy to my mother : " Oi! .. your daughter lah! Act stupid lah. Lol... Always like that one.. Lol. "
Daddy to me: " Really lah! Follow who? "
Me: " Tv!! Start already!! SHH!!! Quick quick! Watch tv. Follow tv! "
Daddy .. *laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh *
Mother: " Shh! Really start already lah. "
Lol.. Well.. i wonder how long can this last.. 10 years? 5 years? 2 years? 1 year?.. Well.. Life is unpredictable. Just look at the brighter side of it then. Well.. i might be telling myself that.. but am i carrying out? ... Haiz. Super disappointed with myself. Well.. wadever. Moving on to where i went today..
Today, morning went to mac.. reached late. Han Yang wanted to whack me cuz i smacked him the other time for being late. Then i laugh at him.. Lol. He give me the wth look and started crapping. Well.. went there for the debate English lesson thingy. Jessica, me, Han Yang and Daniel. Lol.. Super funny. I lazy write details. Skip! Next... 10.30am.. went over to JE. Study with Josh and Maybelline. Well .. yeah.. the usual. Talk crap.. go eat.. study.. do homework.. went off at about 5.15pm. Daniel didn't manage to come.. he was too busy chionging physics. HAHA. Physics.. lol. Then Fred .. whoever he is.. didn't come.. Lol. Maybelline didn't ask him come. HAHA. Alan and cp was there also.. someone else was about to cry.. idiot. Still smack me.. haiz.. well.. they called. Alan thought something happen. HAHA.. so stupid sia.. so funny lah. Well.. went off le.. then go eat dinner with daddy and mummy.
Eat finish le.. kena scolding in the car. For what? He thinks i go out play. WTH. Nvr mind. I didn't. So he can say all he wants. Cuz i really didn't. I could have.. lol.. can go watch movie de leh.. end up nvr. First come first serve basis. Sorry Charis! Besides... we should catch a new show.. lol.. Wonder what show to catch with her.. no horror can le. Lol. Ice age 3? HAHA. Or... hmm.. i got nothing. Zzz. Nvr mind.. well.. tmr.. got sch. DEAR ALL, PLEASE BE REMINDED THAT TMR IS TIE DAY. ISIT? Lol. Bye now..
Message to a dude..
Dude.. did u receive the msg? Do u know it's rude to not reply? Tsk tsk. Lol.. Joking joking. Haiz.. u... i don't know what to do already lah. Nvr mind. Jiayou for ur 'O's.. can see u're working hard for it. So i doubt u will even read this.. but still. N.. i can't be bothered to dao u already. No point.
~End post~
You can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
Friday, July 3, 2009
MTR was boring.
Math was alright.
Physics rawks.
Art was weird but fun. Mr Marshall said the f word like 3 times. Funny sia.
History, i fell asleep. Mr Lam said: " Ms Ang. Ms Ang~.. Ms Ang.. " Then Dominic was like: " APS!" Then i woke up i said paiseh paiseh to Mr Lam. HAHA. Too tired... don't blame me. Lol. Whole class blurr blurr then look at me. :P LOL.
Anyway... the hcl project was a huge success!!! YAY!!!! Well.. i was like shaking all the way... scared. But ended up well. Chen Lao Shi still ask if we wanna present during assembly to the whole school. I stand beside say no.. then Xinle and Charis shouted YES. GAH!! In front of whole school.. i sure freak out de. I cannot read chinese properly de leh.. wah lao a. Lol. Well.. chen lao shi was very happy with the slides!! (: (: (: YAY!! Our hard work so totally paid off! SWEET~! Haha. Well.. to me... i think singing in front of whole school will be easier than presenting for hcl in front of them.
After hcl was chemistry supp. SUXS LIKE DONNO WAD AS USUAL. No one was paying attention. Duh!.. Ppl were talking.. playing paper balls and stuff. Lol.. funny sia. Anyway.. today got ncc for part Bs and Cs. Land and Sea combine. Cool sia.. fun sia.. tired sia. Lol. Ending of training.. when taking bags.. i totally went quiet. Then Haqiz ask what happened.. then i said nothing.
Haqiz: What happen?
Me: Nothing.
Haqiz: Why so quiet since after just now?
Me: Nothing.
Haqiz: Saw him isit?
Me: No.
Haqiz: Then?
Me: * shake my head and walked out " ..
ermm.. yeah.. so .. HAQIZ.. SORRY!! But i think u know why i so emo le. So sorry. Anyway.. today learn rifle drills. One of which includes flicking the rifle up. You need to be there to really understand lah. Lol. Then... before combine drills.. i was like screaming : " CANNOT CANNOT! Later BANG!!! Later rifle drop! Cannot!! Heavy!!" Lol. I was like so scared to flick the rifle. But still did it in the end. Show Chan was there.. donno for what. Oh yeah.. he called me weakling.. Zzz. Lol. Well.. i had fun. That's all... nothing much to say. MAY ONE AND ALL DESERVING CADETS GET INTO GOH!!!!! (: (: (:
~End post~
Say whatever u mean. If not.. just shut up. HAHA
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Thank you to Ardilla, Syazwany, Ebel, Qi Zhi, Chun Hao and Yi Dun for wishing me happy belated birthday. Yup.. done.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Happy... shock.. freaked out... then happy.. and finally pissed.
7/01/2009 09:30:00 PMAlright.. alot of mix feelings today.
I started off the day happy(: Went to school.. nccSEA together.. i very very happy. Lol. Then we joke joke.. play play. Then say pledge. Dismiss for classes next. It was pe so i changed to school uniform cuz after school got prefect meeting.. need to sit on floor. After that.. higher chinese.. rubbish lesson.. LOL. Then recess! (: (: (: Recess... pass by so many juniors... all the sleeves like ermm.... not up to Mr Chun's standard but nvr mind. Then to play netball awhile.
After that Chemistry. SHE WAS LIKE SO DAMN LATE. GRR!! All her fault lah! SO SLOW! I was like... chatting with ppl... walking around.. then Siddarth go pull my hair.. IDIOT. Then i walked off to re-tie my hair. Then the Jessica... donno what's her problem... ask him to give me the stuff at that time. He did... the whole class was like cheering for him. WTH CAN!! N i was like so shock and freaked out cuz like... everyone was looking and i was still tying my hair plus trying to ignore him. Lol. Then i said no and ran out of the class. Ran to 2e3's classroom with the help of Aisyah and Syaza. Went out the class and got dragged by ppl to outside my class again. They talk to me and ask me to just accept. So i told them: " What's the meaning? You go in and ask him the meaning now!! Ask is for birthday only or got more?!?!! " Then they went in and asked.. then he said for both. So i said no again. Then after that Jessica said.. just get it over with. So i got dragged in.. then the noisy crazy class cheer again. Then i said: " Just birthday only, nothing more okay? NOTHING MORE. JUST BIRTHDAY PRESENT. " He said okay so i accepted and thanked him. END OF SHOW.. But the shock face stayed on my face for a long time.. till after math.
Math, i happy!! For ONCE, i can answer Ms Tay's question in less than 1 second! HAHA. Oh yeah... Josh and Maybelline came by during the recess asking to see the flower. Ermm.. MATHS!! After school, went for meeting. Josh and Maybelline took the all the flowers and walked around the canteen.. wth lah. Then Louisse asked why got roses. They told him ppl give me de. Zzz. Lol.. wadever lah.. i still don't wanna care about him. After meeting, go detention room look for Vivien. Both of us helped Eswara with the prefects' room. Junn Yiow and Qi Zhi also helped. While waiting for the stuff, we sang songs.. chat chat.. play with the flower.. take picture and played basketball. Oh yeah, i met a new friend today.. HAHA. He is... * drum rolls please! * ZAC!! No, not Zac Efron. Haha. Played basketball with Vivien, Show Chan and Zac. For the first time.. i talked to Show Chan properly.. as in.. not in detention duty and stuff. Lol. Basketball was fun. The stuff then came.. and we helped. Finshed everything about 5.30pm. Then went to level 6.. Maybelline ask me go up. Sit there... Daniel and Maybelline play with the flowers. Haha.. cute sia. Josh came out of physics class at 5.45pm. Mr Chun hold the whole class back.. funny sia.
Came home.. watch tv.. eat. OH YEAH.. MY BIRTHDAY WISH CAME TRUE!!!~ YAY!!!!!!! MY WISH WAS... FOR DADDY TO START RECOVERING. And today.. he went back to his LAME jokes and rubbish. Oh yeah... he also say he got alot of gf last time. N said that ANG FAMILY WANNA REJECT PPL MUST REJECT IN STYLE ONE OKAY!! DON'T THROW MY FACE! WANNA ACCEPT ALSO MUST ACCEPT IN STYLE ONE OKAY!! Lol.. He and his lame stuff. Lol. I'm so happy daddy is recovering! Then... went to shower. Qi Zhi smsed. He said that i in detention very strict and fierce, and the face always very serious when doing duty. Lol. But then when play and out of duty.. like totally different. I just laughed at him ... like duh. Well... Today was fun.
Oh yeah.. after i showered.. i called Charis. She tell me ask Xinle which one i doing. Then Xinle say the slide 3 one part only and she ask me to call Charis cuz she said Charis wrote the stuff i needed to say. Then i called Charis and found out that they totally didn't prepare anything for me to say. AND THE PROJECT IS STILL NOT DONE. So yeah... now i'm totally pissed cuz today... i no need sleep again. Gonna spend the whole time doing the higher chinese stuff. WTH.. GAH!!!! This suxs!! I hate it when ppl give me last minute shit to do and they said no need to worry before that. wtSHIT lah. Nvr mind. I'm just gonna blame it on myself. All my fault.. stupid me. Done.
N... to ppl who are wondering what i did to those roses... it's at my house.. i didn't throw away. It's like so expensieve.. $54 .. WTH. Don't ask me how i got the price.. i got my sources. Well... yeah. Now.. i gonna go chiong other work before i die. Oh yeah.. and i only slept 3 hours everyday since Monday.. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TIRED I AM?!!?! ... I wanna sleep.. GAH! N... i need to make this clear cuz i think half the class thinks i accepted him as... ahems. So here goes nothing, He is not my boyfriend. I did not accept him, i accepted the flowers as a birthday present from yesterday.. UNDERSTAND? Especially 2e1 ppl.. all of u saw the whole thing but did not hear it. So.. BENNY, DON'T TALK SHIT WHEN U DONNO THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED. Yup.. that's all.. i'm really tired.. I seriously wish i kena swine flu so can go hospital... and just sleep like there's no tomorrow. Better still, if no tomorrow even better. No need care about anything. Lol.
To Ebel:
Ebel .. move on. Don't spend money on me. Don't but presents for me. It's not worth while. N i will not accept u. This is harsh, i know. But seriously.. just... move... on. I tried rejecting u many times already... and it's really sweet that u kept on trying. But i only like u as a friend, i don't love u. So please.. just give up. I'm not over the last stab in the heart.. and even if i get over it.. i don't think u'll be my prince charming.. so... give up. And... please don't cry. Yes, i know i'm very very very straight forward. I tried letting u down lightly.. but then the present.. is really super expensive and i really don't want u to waste ur money already. So yeah. Move on? Well.. Thanks for the 7 roses in the beautiful arrangement that cost a bomb. Please don't continue.. don't waste ur time. I don't wanna waste ur time already. So yeah. I think 4 rejections is more than enough. I know i got habit of rejecting ppl at least 1 time first. Well.. i rejected u 4 times.. and if i wanted to accept, i would have done so long long ago. So please... just don't waste ur time on me already. N... don't cry. Beg u not to cry. Not worth crying over me. Nothing happened between us and nothing will. So ... we are just friends.. like all the other classmates. N.. seriously.. don't cry. Trust me.. i hate rejecting ppl .. and it hurts me alot to hurt ppl's feeling.. so don't let me do this again. Well.. i can't stop u from liking/loving me but i can tell u that nothing will come up even if u continue. So yeah.. don't cry.. and just move on. Ermm .. yup.. see you tmr. And i'm sorry. Please don't cry.
~End post~
Love and like is a very different thing. When u like someone, u just have a good impression of them. When u love someone.. u better love them with everything u have and it better be real.
LIFE ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU, IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
TO CHO NI MING ( COUSIN )
6/30/2009 10:54:00 PMThis is gonna be very short..
Kor, YOU THEN TOOT LAH! Say me toot then wish happy birthday. Wth. Lol.. Lecture till i wanna cry that time. Now crap on facebook ... TSK TSK. Lol. You badie... my birthday gonna end in like 1hour plus... then u come say happy birthday.. abit late bah? Eh.. u were joking right? ... Tell me u are joking. Tell me u're not coming over during November holidays. I don't wanna die so fast. Give me one or two weeks party first can?? LOL. N... i don't want lecturing from u everyday then... will faint. HAHA. Alright.. done! See u soon!
_____________________________________________________________________
To the rest... don't bother reading this. I always talk to my cousin like this. He is 4 years older than me(: His results is.. WOW. VJC student wor.. lol. Sadded... i not anywhere near that smart. Lol. Well well.. Bye now! I go chiong hw...
My birthday
6/30/2009 09:52:00 PMHAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A SILLY, DUMB AND STRAIGHT FOWARD GIRL CALLED ANG PEI SAN :D Oh yeah.. LIFE STILL SUXS.
Ermm.. enjoyed the morning.. didn't enjoy the afternoon. Somemore must fake smile to people. Tired of faking smiles. Nvr mind. Anyway, THANK YOU TO ONE AND ALL WHO HAVE WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Total of 65 ppl wished me a happy birthday today( and yesterday )..
Here are the ppl... THEY ARE IN ORDER
1. Xinle
2. Shan Wei
3. Mr Chun - He wished that i would stop drawing on my hand with penknife.. lol.. so cute.
4. Marcus Sim
5. Shan Jing
6. Guo Zhong
7. Ryan
8. Junese
9. Shi Cheng - Made my day.
These ppl wished me happy birthday early.
__________
10. Wan Qing - ON THE DOT 12MIDNIGHT sms received.
11. Mardiah - Called me.. lol
12. Burhan - 2seconds late. He say de. Lol.
13. Celine`mei
14. Fanna
15. Shafiqa
These ppl wished me happy birthday from 12 midnight to 12.05am
__________
16. Nazirul - ask me don't play knife.. Lol. He got his hair cut.
17. Kelway`daddy - lost track of time while fixing his keyboard. Had a msg prepared but didn't send on time... then he said shit. Lol.
18. Chwan Rong ( sir!! )
19. Alan kor kor ( cousin ) - Owe me bubble tea.
20. Kenneth Yap
21. Rui Shan
I went to sleep after these.. around 2am.
__________
22. Jessie - shouted early in the morning. So many ppl there somemore. Lol.
23. Wan Zhen
24. Josh`kor
25. Jessica
26. Charis
27. Guiting
28. Cynthia - she zapped me.. Zzz.
29. Gladys - sweetheart this sweetheart there. LOL
30. Yi Wei - Mr blurr
31. Lim Hui
32. Shing Ming
33. Calvin
34. Zi Man
35. Hannah
36. Sheryl Ng
37. Meipo
38. Evelyn Lam
39. Junn Yiow
40. Michel ( pronuced as Michelle hor )
41. Astrid
42. Bao Xiu
43. Vivien ( wanna wait till 2pm then say de )
44. Agnes ( plan with Vivien wanna say at 2pm de )
45. Anna
46. Crystal`mei
47. Eswara
48. Maybelline - I KENA BIRTHDAY BASH BY THIS GIRL!! SO PAIN CAN..
49. Louisse.. i ignored him. He called my name more than 3 times.. totally acted like he wasn't there.
50. Sheryl
51. Chui Fern
52. Salman`bro
53. Maya - Say my name loud loud cuz someone behind.. then said happy birthday after Kelway appeared beside us.
54. Jie Ying - Said after believing Kelway that it is my birthday.
55. Yi Dun - asked me how the bee tasted. LOL
56. Benny - SPAM message
57. Beatrice
58. Jing Kai
59. Dorothy
60. Jonas
61. Zhi Ren
62. Atikah
63. Ni Ming kor kor ( cousin )
64. Haqiz ( sir )
65. Freddie
___________________________________________________________________
The bee thingy stated on the Yi Dun line.. Is cuz.. Starting of eng class, there was a big big bee flying around. It got hit by the fan many many times and finally flew out of control. Landed on Hannah's table and everyone around there moved away. I was sitting at my sit laughing away, which was about 2 sits away. After a long long while.. Calvin took the broom and wanted to smack the bee. The bee survived, i laughed even more. It was on Siaddarth's shirt. He was like freaking out. Then i stand up.. walk over with my file.. then hit the bee off his shirt and onto the floor. Then the bee flew up and to my mouth. SICK!!! The bee was like on my lips and it touched my tougue alittle.. i blew at it as ... IT'S CREEPY n i scared kena stink. Then use my file to shoo it our of the classroom. Lol. So yeah... inside joke lah. Stupid sia.
SUPER FUNNY!! See the other girls scream and shout. Somemore Astrid crawl under the tables.. HAHA. SUPER FUNNY!! DAMN CUTE! Oh yeah.. MR GOH'S LESSON RAWKS. Lol. He BANG the table with the broom for fun.. then ppl in front jump. Super loud. Super fun. Lol. I'm starting to enjoy school.
Tmorrow is NCC DAY. Well well.... i gonna have many many things to bring again.
~End post~
People tend to forget stuff. Forgive them for it.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Just a little while more to my birthday. Many people are wishing me a happy birthday already. But... i don't think i'm gonna be that happy. Anyway, today.. school ended kinda fast. Enjoyed school for ONCE. Well.. there might be a physics test tmr :S die. After school, at 1pm.. I was with Charis and Xinle. Josh, Maybelline, Daniel and Louisse got out of the free period classroom to help us with physics... exactly just me and Xinle. It was fun and funny but i don't really understand everything. Well.. Louisse forgot my birthday. GO FIGURE. I was speechless and wanted to cry. But yeah... wadever. Said less than 3 lines to him today. GO FIGURE DUDE.. GO FIGURE. Well.. at least he recalled in the end. But i think he will forget next year. L also forgot when is Fanna's and Nad's birthday. But remembered s' birthday well. Can't blame him.. Well... i got like 9 early birthday wishes already. I'll state the names in the next post.
Guess what i found out? ... Shi Cheng wished me happy birthday and made my day. Thank you Shi Cheng(: His wish for me is to stop crying so much. Lol. Shi Cheng.. YOU STOP EMOING SO MUCH. Well... Louisse told him it was my birthday tmr. GO FIGURE. I don't know to be happy or what. Cuz L said this today: " Whose's birthday tmr". That time... wah lao a... make me feel like crying can. But after that he said.. : " Orh! " ... Well.. wadever lah. THANK YOU SHI CHENG! (: Your wish has been granted. Lol. I stopped crying like 2 min ago..
THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.
~End post~
Some people are just not worth remembering.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
miss miss miss
6/28/2009 09:40:00 PM
Daddy hasn't been feeling well. And he still isn't getting better. That fish... IS EXPENSIVE... N i need to learn how to take care of it. Anyway, i found out that daddy will come back home if there's fishes... he said it. That's why when he divores with his ex-wife... he took away all the fishes. Well... Something isn't right... and i know it. I can feel that daddy is getting sick and still not recovering. For today's dinner, he only managed to finish 1 slice of pizza :S This isn't good. I hope daddy is okay.
I was caught disturbing Xinle. Lol. By Wan Zhen... she and her camera. Well.. i miss netball. I miss the netballers. Except for the fbt stuff.... especially by Agnes.. i still get that sometimes.. irritating. Lol. Look at Anna and Sheryl.. lol. Cute right? Haha. I miss the netballers...
Qing. I miss being with her. So so much. Zzz. I remember we talked about rubbish that made us laugh so much. Well... haiz... oh yeah, she's my first best friend. Since p2. Now.. ermm... just good friends i guess. Oh yeah, the background is her old house. Condo. We were at the playground. This is like the first time we go camera crazy.
Next up, I MISS MOUNT KINABALU!! I wanna go to mount kinabalu again. I miss hanging with all my friends at mount kinabalu. Jacelyn, Xin Ping, Wan Qing, Jolyn, Li Ying, Asshida, Uma and Syazwany.. and of course, the guys. Especially Elfy, Mattew and Salman. Salman for his hot tea. Lol.. Elfy for ... ermm.. lol.. don't wanna say. Mattew for helping us up the mountain. AH!! I MISS MOUNT KINABALU!! Mr Goh was there too.. lol. People somehow become more friendly when we were there. Except for one senior.. Zzz.. I seriously don't ever wanna see his face again but i don't have a choice. Lol. Oh yeah, CONGRATS TO ALL PART Cs THAT HAVE PROMOTED!! (: (: (:
Next up, Nurul Mardiah. This pretty babe has been by me for long time(: I miss craping with her. Lol. I feel like climbing Bukit Timah Hill with her again. Fun leh. Although there got some stupid memories.. but still... Lol.
Apart from all these.. I kinda think that i did something wrong somewhere. But i just don't know where. Well.. Anyway, tomorrow school reopen. My homework isn't done. I'm gonna chiong my work after blogging. Well... yeah. Once again.. I HOPE DADDY IS OKAY :s
Oh yeah... And Josh Lim Shi Yuan..
YOU BETTER STOP IT YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?! REMEMBER WHAT I SAID IN THAT MESSAGE??? BEAR THAT IN UR MIND. Damn hell.. please forget about it? ... If i can... u should be able to do it alot better. No one held a gun to ur head. No one forced u to be miserable... so damn crap shit.. stop being miserable.
Ermm.. birthday in 2 days... wee?? ... nah.. Doubt there will be any celebration. If there is, i hope i can enjoy it. Zzz.. I heard gan ma gonna buy cake as usual. Last year also she buy. My birthday last year rawks.. CAKE FACE JESSIE AND LOUISSE. Fun you know? And made me laugh alot. I got caked the most. Lol. Well.. that's all.. hmm..
Fanna and Celine.. take care of yourself. Both of u ... now like weird weird de? Suddenly so quiet.. too quiet.. not use to it.
Maybelline... don't emo emo le alright? Or else i really 'sell' u to AHEMS(anyone). Lol. Tuition... sian... lol. Take care babe.
L.. Doubt he even reads anymore.. so... ~Nothing to display~
~End post~
Be miserable. Or motivate yourself, whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
When you do something wrong, don't say u were forced into it.. cuz u'll just get use to it.. just like slashing.. the more u do it.. the more addicted u are. Word to some ppl... Don't slash.. don't say u were forced into it.
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Asian Youth Games Preview
6/27/2009 10:10:00 PMToday was the preview. Report to school at 11.45am. Reached Indoor Sports Hall at 1 plus. First things first.. WASTE MY TIME!... We sat there and waited for more than 2 hours before the show started. I didn't even know that the show started till Charis came back from donno where. I was blasting music into my ears using Charis' earpiece and phone. Lol. Oh yeah.. Ms Ho was sleeping like a cute little piggy. Lol! Ms Ho go till where also can sleep sia.. power. Anyway... at first Agnes, Charis and me wanted to go buy snacks.. hungry lah~ Lol.. then the teachers were about 4 seats above us.. so i smsed Ms Ho and ask.
Me: Ms Ho, can go buy snacks?
Ms Ho: Can. Come up and ask if u need anything.
Then after that she spotted me when she talking to Mr Siah.. then she nudge Mr Siah and point to me. Then said..
Ms Ho: Eh! You cute leh! So near also need sms! Waste my message! See lah.. i send already. *laugh laugh laugh*
Me: Huh? Orh.. haha.
then walked out with Agnes and Charis. NEXT... THE SNACKS THERE IS SUPER EXPENSIVE. I spend $10 there.. Zzz. Oh yeah.. one cup of drink is $3... one stick of wadever is $2.50. One big pack of chips is $6. THOSE PPL ARE EARNING BIG SIA. Oh yeah.. But the RENT IS EXPENSIVE. The first performace was horrible. The others were alright.. some were awesome.. Especially the primary school performance.. SO CUTE!!!! AH!! I'M TELLING YOU.. THEY ARE DAMN CUTE!! Lol. Alright.. anyway... disturb alot of juniors.. hehe. I notice i only disturb netball juniors and my friends. Ncc de i will not. Haha. I have no idea why but yeah. Hmm... AYG stuff.. u all go find out urself bah... will got time to see de. Haha. Tv got show. Monday, 7pm on channel 5... there will be the show. Go catch it. Oh yeah... tmr.. i MIGHT be going to Jurong Library with Maybelline, Fred and if Josh can... Also Josh. Gui Ting couldn't make it.
________________________________________________________________________
Don't wanna talk about AYG or tmr plan le. Anyway.. just now got one show.. the girl hit the camel a little too hard then the camel bounced up and down.. haha... the girl was screaming so much and she almost fell off. Super funny. Oh yeah.. now i'm also going gugugaga over 'Boys over Flowers' . I find it SO CUTE! N funny. Haha. The story is nice. TOgetHER. Lol.. Cool. This is only the 2nd time i'm watching it. I only managed to watch ep6 and ep7. The lead actress is... so innocent. Haha.
Alright.. I'm thirsty.. Zzz.. lazy take water.. kinda miss p5 when i still had a maid.. everything just ... 'kaka'( in malay... ermmm... i think wrong spelling). I miss those times sia. Haha. I remember i spitted milk at my 'kaka' 3 times in less than 5min. I think i was around 10. Haha. I was sitting beside the fridge drinking milk... then she tickle me the first time.. then i spit the milk out by accident. Then she wipe off then LAUGHED. Haha. I started laughing soon after.. then i continued drinking... tell her don't make me laugh... but she told a joke and i spit again.. I drank it again.. then she push my cup to disturb me.. then spit again. HAHA. 3 times .. n her face was like.. covered with milk. Super funny and we were both laughing like crap. Yeah... i was like 10 years old then. Haha. I miss my maid.. when she left for home i cried.
Moving on.. 3 more days to my birthday or as i call it now.. THAT STUPID DAY. Oh yeah.. i was born early.. i was suppose to be a July baby... not a June baby. Oh well.. i doubt anything special will happen.
Oh yeah... the Cadbury chocolate has a new advertisement. WHAT'S WITH THE EYEBROWN?? I DON'T GET IT?!?! Oh yeah... daddy is gonna put that advertisement in his branch. The new fairprice Xtra at Jurong Point.
Last thing. Inti**** and O***-P*********. Don't like it.. say it and i will not care le. I'm already not gonna care already. HAHA. Dude, I'M SO WASHING MY HANDS OF U.. U.... don't care u le lah. 1 less person to care.. i should be happy. Haha. But still HAIZ!!!!!!!! My birthday this year... i'm not inviting ppl.. not celebrating. I got no mood. N i don't see the point. 3 more days!!!!!! GAH!! DAMN SHIT. 1 more year closer to my death. Kinda sweet actually. Hehe.
Daddy till now still not back.. WHERE'S MY FATHER?!?!?!??????
~End post~
I've learned... that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
Friday, June 26, 2009
My father has been saying some really weird stuff lately.. I have no idea why. Yesterday night, Daddy ask if i can take care of his fishes. N i went huh??? ... Like duh.. his fishes are like so expensive. Then daddy said stuff like if next time i gone... my fish how? Then i said he talk crap. Lately daddy has been asking me alot of IF questions.. which i seriously don't like.
Anyway... today i reached lot 1 at 10am. Committee meeting ended at 11.30am. Ate.. then went with Freddie and Hong Yong to Bukit Batok mrt. Waited for Vivien... that girl hor... fashionably LATE lor.. Lol.. Zhiren was also there. 4 of us went to Starbucks at Jurong Point. Zhi Ren treat. Zhi Ren seriously drink too much coffee. Lol. Anyway.. when reaching starbucks.. Josh`kor called. Lol.. and he said good afternoon. So random lah.. actually it's cuz i send a 'morning...' to him. Lol.. chatted for i donno how long then he wanted to talk to Vivien. Lol.. funny sia. He asked me who i was with... lol. Somehow... don't dare to lie to him. Haha. So yeah... told him. When reaching 1pm... end conver. Lol. I think we chat less than 10min. While.. there were not enough seats... so Freddie, Hong Yong and Zhi Ren sit together. Vivien and I sat at another one. Chat with her.. talk about some stuff. *secret* .. alright.. then Zhi Ren wanted to go to Coffee Bean. Seriously, he drinks TOO MUCH COFFEE. Vivien followed me.. go look for daddy(: Yes, my father works at Jurong Point. The Fairprice Xtra.. the 24 hours one (: Wanted to eat lunch with daddy.. but he already ate. Lol. Nvr mind. So yeah.. about 2pm.
Left.. Vivien, Freddie, Hong Yong and Zhi Ren took 174.. Vivien and Freddie went for tuition.. Hong Yong and Zhi Ren went to play basketball i think. I took 178. The bus ride was like... 35min. I thought i was lost. Haha.. i saw something that looked like Changi Airport.. then i laughed. That was iHub. Wadever iHub is.. lol. Also saw a creative building. Almost fell asleep.. again.. many thoughts. Lol. Reached home... dream dream dream. Anyway, I found out dearest Vivien didn't even touch her homework. O.o To say the truth.. I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY SURPRISE. Can't believe it. Anyway... STARBUCKS RAWKS!! So much better than coffee bean. Lol. Cuz coffee bean got signs saying ' NO STUDYING HERE ' Lol.. Best place to study is still starbucks... or jurong east! Lol. Okay... random. Tmr AYG.. BORING. Zzz.. Oh yeah.. n a falling bullet can actually kill... cool! Wee~ Life suxs. HAHA!
~End post~
I've learned... that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Past 2 days.. my younger cousin came over to stay. No idea why.. she stayed over.. and i didn't emo at all. Haha! Anyway, yesterday brought her to Charis house.. cuz i needed to do hcl project. Charis and Xinle thinks she is very cute.. ermm... lol. Didn't manage to complete the project but Charis says she will complete the rest. Oh yeah.. for holiday homework.. i only did English focus on grammer.. I AM SO DOOMED. Anyway, around 6 plus.. we left. Xinle ate dinner with my cousin and I. My cousin is p4 called Marriott.. her blog link is at my links. Marriott didn't eat.. she was too full. Lol... all the nuggets, McWings and fries that we ordered from McDelivery filled her stomach. After dinner.. bring Marriott to my house through bus 67. Flashbacks came as i passed by some places... but i didn't emo.. Marriott was talking so much. Lol. Marriott left for home today.
Well.. i was chatting with Maybelline just now. Talking about friendship stuff and all the other stuff. Then.. talked about REAL TRUE FRIENDS.. and other stuff. Then she said: "...... But choose to avoid n give him his space... " So.. i'm gonna avoid him lah. Lol. I'm washing my hands off him... give him his space. Yup. Anyway.. MY RESULTS SUX.. I NEED TO WAKE UP. Pissed.. super piss. I got not enough time.. i'm in trouble. I need help..
~End post~
An acquaintance that begins with a compliment is sure to develop into a real friendship.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Today is my second time in Church of Singapore (Bukit Timah). I went out at 12plus to meet Jiaying, Xinle and Shing Ming. They are in cell group Nissi 3 Knights 2. Went to one of the cell group member's house. Yup.. so went there.. ice breaking.. and teaching of the Lord. Had fun.. but didn't feel comfortable. They are all really nice but yeah. After that.. it was about 3.40pm and we started making our way to Church. Anyway.. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOUR RED BLOOD CELLS CAN ONLY LIVE 120 DAYS AND WHITE BLOOD CELLS CAN ONLY LIVE 25 HOURS!! Haha XD. So random.. Anyway, today was combine service.. same as last week. Saw Daniel, Shi Cheng and some others. Cell group Nissi 3 Knights 2 went to the front.. all the way.. worship was same. Just not as scary as last week. Cuz last week got one bouncing Daniel in front of me and one jumping Maybelline beside me. This week... worship... nvr cry. Lol. Service ended late. Ended at 6.45pm instead of 6pm. I will be joining service 2 in future... cell group Kabod.. 3 to 4.30pm( cell group ).. and 4.30pm to forgot what time for service. I think it was 7pm.
Anyway.. today... after everything ended.. it was raining. Walked to bukit timah hawker centre.. Daniel called while i was walking.. he is like so ... BLURR. Lol.. I was in front of him.. then he said i was lying.. so i stopped and stared at him.. then hung up.. he was like OOOOOOooooooooOOOOO... Lol. So BLURR right? Haha. Oh yeah.. cell group Kabod only has 3 girls excluding me. Went to hawker.. then Josh sms.Josh`kor conversation with Daniel was super funny. They were going..
Josh: Shit you Daniel!
Daniel: Shit u back Josh!
Josh: I love u Daniel!
Daniel: I love u too!
Josh: You sux so much and that why i love u!
Daniel: You sux too! Josh u sux! Oh no oh no dont emo oh no oh no. You sux!
Josh: Shit u Daniel!
I was laughing all the way.. super funny lah. They are like.. so lame. Haha. Well.. i had fun(: At hawker.. they eat.. i buy back. Then stare at them eat for a while. There was like 10 guys at first.. then suddenly got 15 guys.. then when everyone sat down.. there were 18 guys. But somehow didn't feel awkward. After awhile.. i left for home. Cannot be stay there right?? So weird.. lol.
Came home, ate dinner.. now blogging.
Oh yeah.. EVERYONE ONE IS DIFFERENT. YOU ARE THE FIRST OF YOUR KIND; THERE IS NO OTHER PERSON LIKE YOU IN HISTORY AND THERE NEVER WILL BE. You are unique. You are a person of destiny. Alright.. haha.. tmr i going church with Hannah.. promised to go to her church with her for at least once. So i am going tmr. Well.. i'm ending here. And.. Daniel.. poor thing!! Lol.. always get scolding by Josh for stupid reason! And.. DANIEL IS WEIRD. That's all(:
~End post~
If you can't solve it, it isn't a problem - it's reality. And sometimes reality is the hardest thing to understand and the thing that takes the longest to realize. But once it hits you in the face you'll never forget it. It will always be there in your memories and sometimes that is the best way to look at it.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
rubbish rubbish and more rubbish
6/18/2009 03:26:00 PMblah blah blah blah blah
Whoo!
You were everything a GUY could be.
Then you left me brokenhearted
Now you DON'T MEAN A THING TO ME.
Hate is a strong word
so i don't hate u but I really really really don't like you
Now that it's over
I don't even know what I liked about you ( I LIKE EVERYONE; I LOVE NO ONE)
Brought me around
then you just brought me down.
BLEH~!!
I really don't like you AND I NEVER DID. BEAR THAT IN MIND.
Thought that everything was perfect
Isn't that how it's supposed to be?
Now I think a little differently
YOU'RE NOT WORTH MY CARE NOR CONCERN.
I don't even know WHY I CARED ABOUT YOU AND WHY I TREATED U WELL.
Now that it's over you CAN'T HURT ME ANYMORE AND U CAN'T BRING ME DOWN.
____________________________________________________________________
Alright.. i'm gonna forget about all the rubbish. And.. i'm gonna GROW UP. Oh yeah.. and i'm gonna try to avoid L. Yup.. that's all. Give him his space. Done..
~End post~
There's a point in life when you start to realize who matter; who never did; and who always will.
Mr T doesn't matter, he never did. Friends do matter.. and they always will. HE(not Mr T.. Mr T doesn't matter at all) doesn't matter anymore.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
quiz tagged by mei
6/17/2009 08:01:00 PM1. Josh`kor kor (BK)
2. Maybelline
3. Charis
4. Xinle
5. Louisse
6. Fanna
7. Cynthia
8. Wan Qing
9. Vivien
10. Daniel
11. Guiting
12. Jessica
13. Jin Chuan
14. Tay Yi Ren
Q1. How did you do to meet 7?
(Cynthia).. through primary school? Classmates? Lol.. she damn funny.. and.. she's CRAZY.
2. What will you do if you and 13 NEVER meet?
(Jin Chuan).. If i don't meet him... that means i didn't turn up for 1 star. If i didn't turn up for 1 star, I WOULDN'T PASS IT! N i wouldn't have promoted.
Q3. What will you do if 1 and 12 date?
(Josh and Jessica) .. HAHAHAHAHA. That will never happen.. i would laugh till my stomach too pain..
Q4. Have you seen 14 cried?
(Yi Ren).. ermm.. yeah.. i did. But WADEVER.
Q5. Were 5 and 14 be a good couple?
(Louisse and Yi Ren).. they are brotherz-4-life.. it's stated.. really. And.. NO.. IT'S NOT A GOOD COUPLE. It's weird. Both are guys.. and they are close enough already. Besides.. one is attached and the other one.. haiya.. he too busy le.
Q6. Do you think 4 is attractive?
(Xinle) .. Haha. Yeah.. she's cute.. and HOT :P she's also noisy but attractive.. hahaha..
Q7. What's your 2 favourite colour?
(Maybelline) ermm.. we do hang out.. but i don't know what's her favourite colour.
Q8. When is the 1st time you talk to 14?
(Yi Ren) When i'm in sec 1. I think it was in school. After ncc. When i was talking to Louisse.. then i told YR off for not knowing my name because he's my senior.. then we started talking after that. Yup.. after his UK trip isit? .. wadever. Can't be bothered.
Q9: What language does 9 speak?
(Vivien) English and Chinese? Same as me? ..
Q10. Who is 13 going out with?
(Jin Chuan) No one.. he's too busy in navy. Lol..
Q11. What grade is 3 in?
(Charis) Same as me. Sec 2.
Q12: Have you ever date with 10?
(Sec 4 Daniel) .. ermm .. what the hell.. we just met not long ago. As in.. got to actually talk to each other. Haha.. NO, DIDN'T DATE HIM.
Q13: Where does 6 live?
(Fanna) You ask her lah. Zzz..
Q14: What's the best thing about 7?
(Cynthia) She's a awesome friend.
Q15: What would you want to tell 5 now?
Damn u for asking this question. Ermm.. (Louisse)WADEVER. Nothing to say to him.
Q16: Who is 11?
(Guiting) NETBALLER!! She's my good friend! She's cute. Haha.. and.. i love to tickle her. The reaction very funny.
Q17: Have you ever kissed 4 before?
(Xinle) EWW!! YUK!! PUKE LAH!!.. kiss Xinle for what?.. crazy..
Q18: What is the best memories when you are with 2?
(Maybelline) All are awesome. I don't really think there's a best..
Q19: When is the last time you seen 1?
(Josh) Haha. Just now.. we watched movie with Maybelline(: And.. study? .. didn't study much.. hehe..
Q20: How is 14 and 12 different?
(Tay Yi Ren and Jessica) .. i don't wanna answer questions about him le lah.. Jessica is Weird.. hehehehe..
Q21: Is 1 pretty?
(Josh) Not pretty.. lol.. Josh is a guy!
Q22: What is the first impression of 6?
(Fanna) Ermm.. i said to her..
Fanna: HI!!
Me: Ermm.. who are u? .. ermm shit!! Are u my senior? Are u my junior? Am i suppose to know you? WHO ARE YOU?!?!
Fanna *speechless*
Then i got dragged away by my friends..
Me: Who are u?!?!
I thought she was crazy cuz she talked to me even though i didn't know her.. haha.
Q23: How do I get to know 2?
NccSEA. She's my senior.
Q24: Who is your 1st bestfriend?
Wan Qing.
Q25: Do you hate 10?
(Daniel) If i hate Daniel.. his name would not appear here. So obviously i don't hate him.
Q26: Have you seen 4 in the last month?
(Xinle) Yes. I see her all the time.
Q27: When is the last time you talked to 12 face to face?
(Jessica) At macdonalds on 17 June.
Q28: Have you been to 14 house?
(Yi Ren) No. His parents will anyhow think... haiya.. wadever.
Q29: When is the next time you going to meet 10?
(Daniel) .. how would i know?..
Q30: Are you close to 13?
(Jin Chuan) Not so close le. He busy in navy..
Q31: Have you ever been to movie with 1 & 4?
(Josh and Xinle) Yup. But Xinle never watch together with Josh before.
Q32: Have you gotten any trouble with 8?
(Wan Qing) as in? Lol.. should have..
Q33: Will you give 1,2 & 4 a hug?
(Josh, Maybelline and Xinle)
1-NO
2-YES.. i think..
4-YES.. i think..
Q34: When did you tell lie to 3?
(Charis) I didn't lie to her before.
Q35: Is 1 good in sociallizing?
(Josh) He doesn't think so. But okay bah..
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Quiz... and post
6/16/2009 11:19:00 PMQ1. Which is your favourite colour out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
-Blue
Q2. Your 1st initial.
-A (Ang)
Q3. Your month of birth?
-June
Q4. Which colour do you like more? Black or White?
- Black
Q5. Name a person, same gender as you.
- ermm.. can i not? .. i rather not state anyone.
Q6. Your favourite number?
-8
Q7. Do you like flying or driving?
- Fly!!... then die.. HAHA.. saddistic..
Q8. Do you like th lake or th ocean more?
- Ocean
Q9. Write down a wish. (a realistic one)
- READ THE WISH LIST YOU ASS.. Zzz..
When you're done, scroll down. (dont cheat!)
Q1.
Red- you are alert and your life is full of love.
Black- you are conservative and aggressive.
Green- your soul is relaxed and you're laid back.
Blue- you are spontaneous and you love kisses and affection fron the one you love.
Yellow- you are a very happy person and give advices to those who are down.
Q2.
A-K: you have alot of friendships and love in your life. (ermm.. really meh? Stupid.. more like heartbroken once and forget the rest.. HAHA )
L-R: you try to enjoy life to th maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.
S-Z: you like to help others and you future love life looks very good.
Q3.
Jan-Mar: This year will go very well for you and you'll discover that you'll fall for someone totally unexpected.
Apr-June: you will have a strong relationship that will not last long but th memories will last forever. ( This i agree.. It hurts u know? The memories can kill u know? )
July-Sept: you will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.
Oct-Dec: your love life will not be great, but will eventually find your soul mate.
Q4.
Black: your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and will be glad for the change. ( Agree.. haha.. for the best? Where's the best?? Where? 7 months plus already.. i don't see it. )
White: you will have a friend who's completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you might not realize it.
Q5. The person is your best friend
Q6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.
Q7.
Flying: you like adventure. ( Yeah.. i love it.. )
Driving: you are a laid back person.
Q8.
Lake: you are very loyal to your friends and your lover are very reserved.
Ocean: you are spontaneous and like to please people. ( Got use meh? I don't see the use.. hurts.. )
DONE.. I FINISHED.
Anyway, i'm gonna meet Maybelline and Josh tmr.. kor gonna make me study.. haha. Maybelline gonna help him. Then after that.. WE GONNA WATCH MOVIE. Lol.. Celine and Fanna also going same place.. JURONG POINT. Lol.. see got luck anot bah.. if got luck then will meet them.
And.. i drew a line between Louisse and I. That means.. i totally will not call him kor till after his 'O' levels or something. And i will not start conversation with him. He start with me then talk bah. Yup.. no more distractions for him.. he got enough distractions already.
Aisyah thinks i'm not fit with Elfy.. I AGREE!! HAHA. She damn cute sia! The picture.. lol. Mount Kinabalu rawks.. lol..
Fanna.. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.. And.. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. Wanna see urself die isit? I show u first want? I die in front of u want? Don't want right? THEN DON'T ANYHOW SAY WANNA DIE.
I seriously feel like going back to it.. i think i'm addicted. Anyway.. the thought of the cuts.. doesn't gross me out. It makes me wake up. Well.. yeah. T00 many stuff going on le lah.. gah..
But.. i will not go back to it.. not now at least. Well.. cuz it's a selfish and foolish act. It just cause harm to myself and make myself weaker mentally and physically through losing blood and those horrible thoughts. Well.. yeah.. that.. was from Ni Ming kor kor( my cousin ). I kinda miss his lecturing.. although it made me cry.. it made me wake up.. HAHA. Well.. that's all then.
~End post~
It's best to let go.. there's no other way.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Mount Kinabalu
6/15/2009 12:48:00 PMAlright, I have 100 plus pictures on this.. so this is going to be a very long post. Anyway, I WANNA GO BACK TO MOUNT KINABALU!!! I don't want to stay in Singapore. Reality sux. I don't like reality. I should have slept on Mount Kinabalu. If i did.. i wouldn't have to face all these stuff. I don't like reality. I'm trying to get over it already. At least i don't cry when i hear his name now.. but i will still remember stuff.. from the conversation that got us as god bro-sis to the message that drew the line. GAH!! WAN QING IS RIGHT! I WENT THERE TO ESCAPE REALITY. And it worked. But now i want to go back there. Never mind.. got to face reality.
Anyway, Kota Kinabalu, first day, we spent it at Rose Cabin. The teacher's room is so so nice. The girl’s room is haunted. Really.. it is. But never mind. Anyway.. i didn't manage to get a shut eye at that room. Details.. don't wanna say. The guys room is nice. Lol.. they at night play cards. Haha. Anyway.. sitting beside Mr Goh and Ms Ho for lunch then.. THE FOOD ON MY PLATE CAN NEVER FINISH. Lol..Mr Goh put food on my plate then said: " Must give her more food! Or else later term 3 she go back tell my class i bully her. "Me: " What the hell? " Then laughed..
Gavin also had alot of food to eat. Haha. But i didn't really ate much.. couldn't eat. Till the 2nd day! Lol.
The food.. hmm.. mainly contains.. 3 DIFFERENT KINDS OF VEG, 1 SOUP, 2-3 MEAT, 2 KINDS OF FRUITS(small plate) ... Yup.. Lol. Not bad lah. Haha.
Details.. SKIP SKIP SKIP. 2nd and 3rd day.. CLIMB. TIRED SIA LAH!! Anyway.. the climb to the middle where we spent the night.. Jolyn, Wan Qing and I were climbing together.. till one part.. Salman and Mattew caught up with 2-5 BB guys in front. Then Jolyn went ahead.. and Uma managed to go in front of me cuz i felt too tired. Lol.. I was the 3rd girl to reach the rest house. Wan Qing soon came. Jolyn is scary. She didn't seem tired. Lol.. she is the first girl! Anyway.. sleep.. briefing.. sleep.. THE HUT RAWKS. Comfortable. But kinda noisy. I slept well there(: Anyway.. we all got up at 2am(near there) and went off for the climb to summit. Asshida and Haziq were not feeling well.. so yeah.. Ms Ho don't let them go. They ended up in the room having 'party' as told by Asshida.
Lol.. Well.. climbed up.. i was the first girl that reached the top. That feeling is indescribable. But i was too tired to be happy. Anyway.. was having stomachache. Jolyn was having stomachache too.. but hers.. hurts ALOT more. Anyway.. she also reached the summit(: (: (: Wan Qing too(: Gavin, Syukri, Elfy(first person) and some others that i forgot too. Hehe.. well.. WELL DONE EVERYONE(: (: I really wanted to sleep while climbing.. it was just SO COLD.
Salman left stuff behind. His shoe. Lol.. His shoe fell apart and well climbing.. it slowly broke and well.. yeah.. pain. Poor guy. Not to mention his legs were numb :S Even with proper shoes it was difficult... he.. rawks. He is so awesome. Lol.. Oh yeah.. Need to thank him for his tea at the resthouse. Anyway.. when i reached the summit(after sunrise :S ), my lips were PURPLE. COLD SIA LAH. Not to mention.. i was wearing 5 layers! And it was still freezing cold. 1 thermal wear, 2 PE shirts, 1 fleece jacket and 1 wind breaker. Imagine that. Gosh.. genting seems so awesome compared to there. But yeah. Really.. the climb is AWESOME. And not to mention scary and dangerous.
PICTURE TIME.. SOME PIC ARE TAKEN FROM WAN QING AND ASSHIDA. 8 FROM WAN QING AND 5 FROM ASSHIDA (: (: (:
I have learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Random
6/14/2009 06:10:00 PMAlright.. here's just some really random things i think girls.. i can't say anything much about guys since well.. i'm not a guy. DUH. And .. i don't know any guys really really really well. Some stuff are my thoughts.. and some are from the internet. This is totally random and might not be true. You can agree and u can disagree. Tell me through tagboard bah.
Guys..
Why do guys like girls?
1. How cute they look when they are mad at u.
2. How cute they look when they sleep.
3. How they make everything better when everything seems wrong.
4. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.
5. The way their head always finds the right spot on ur shoulder.
6. How cute they are when they argue.
7. Then the way they apologize for crying over something silly.
8. The way they say everything to u.
9. The smile on their face that brightens up ur day no matter how crappy u felt.
10. The way they fall into ur arms when they cry.
Why do guys get someone new?
Because they had a big fight and they realise that they are not so perfect for each other anymore or they never were.
Because they found someone cuter and prettier and maybe better.
Because they don't wanna be chain up anymore.
Because they have no other choice.
others.. u tell me..
Some guys and girls can be really emotional. Some can be really sweet. Some are just plain cute. There are many different guys in the world. And there are also many different girls. And there are many little imperfections to them. But imperfections of ppl makes them perfect for another person. When u find someone that loves u for all ur imperfections.. u found the right person.
_____________________________________________________________________
Girls..
Why do girls like guys?
1. The way that they casually put their arms around you.
2. The way that they kiss away your tears.
3. .......and the way that they then get mad at how they can't make your problem go away.
4. How they always know just what to say to make you blush.
5. How they sometimes think that they know just what to say to make you feel better, even if you think that it is the worst thing that they could say.
6. The way they hold you close when you are cold.
7. How they look at you when you're mad at them and all your anger melts away.
8. How they always smile when you are together.
9. The way they pretend that it hurts when u punch them.
10. How they ensure u that everything will be alright although u know it can never totally be alright.
Why do girls get someone new?
Because they found someone that actually treats them right.
Because the other guy has found someone 'better'.
Because they have no other choice.
Need i say more?
Girls and guys..
Regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. You love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing a feeling, that is only felt through the heart. Listen to your heart. Listen to ur soul within and make the right choice. Love them for who they are.. not for who u want them to be. Love them because they are them.. not someone they remind u of.
The spirits around you can guide but only the spirit within you can guide.
Well.. yeah.... that's all i have about this.
________________________________________________________________________
Well.. done with that.
I REPEAT.. ALL THESE MIGHT NOT BE TRUE.. U CAN AGREE AND CAN DISAGREE.
tagged by Celine`mei
6/14/2009 05:25:00 PMTag 11 ppl in order
Then answer the questions.
1) Josh`baobei kor (BK) :3
2) Louisse`busy guy ..
3) Maybelline (:
4) Wan Qing (:
5) Calvin (:
6) Jin Chuan`kor (:
7) Salman (:
8) Agnes 'pervert' :P
9) Asshida (:
10) Farhana (:
11) Aisyah` sea babe!
Questions:
1) Who is 1(baobei kor) having a relationship with?
- No one. Damn u for asking this question.
2)Is 4 male or female?
- Wan Qing is a female..
3)Who is 5?
-Calvin? Calvin is my bestie. Haha.. he is a sea hunk! Sea hunks and sea babes rawks.
4) What is 8 studying about?
- Agnes. Agnes is a pervert. Lol.. She's studying whatever i am studying. Same class.. duh. She wanna study bio next year..
5) Is 7 single?
- Salman. Yeah.. for now he is... lol.
6) Say something about 2
- Louisse. He is busy. That's why i call him busy guy.
7) What do you think about 7 and 8
- Salman and Agnes. Both are caring. Both rawks. But Agnes is a pervert! :P She's gonna kill me.. who cares!
8)Describe 1
- Nice. Caring. Weird. My god brother. Loves singing. Crazy. Likes hot babes shows(which guy doesn't.. Zzz). Emo at times. Punch the wall when he's angry.
9)What will you do if 4 and 5 fight?
- Wan Qing and Calvin. HAHAHA. I'll sit back and laugh. Just like i always do. They will not fight de lah. Lol..
10) Do you like 2?
- Louisse. Like him?? Yeah.. he's my god bro.. obviously like him lah.. Zzz. Yes, i'm acting innocent. I'm not answering this stupid question. I feel like killing someone now.
11)What if 1 stead with 6?
- Josh and Jin Chuan. Ermm.. do they know each other? .. They are both guys.. and they are both STRAIGHT. They will NEVER stead with each other.. it's so wrong.
__________________________________________________________________
I just found out something that i shouldn't have found out. My mistake. I shouldn't have message u. Talk after your 'O' levels bah. And no.. this is NOT about Mr TYR. He doesn't exist in my world anymore. GET USE TO IT. I'm getting use to it too. Wadever. Life sux. I miss Mount Kinabalu. I wanna go there again.
Alright.. as people who visit should be able to see.. the links has changed. Well, i changed all the hearts and decreased all of it.
Lyrics for Tonight by FM Static
This song is stuck in my mind. Love this song so so so much.. ♥♥♥♥♥
I remember the times we spent together
All those drives, we had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York everything felt right
I wish you were here with me,
Tonight
I remember the days we spent together,
were not enough, it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late
I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus, and how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad, sometimes
Not having you here
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
I say
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight
_____________________________________
This song so totally rawks. Search online for the song bah. (: (: (: Cannot put on my blog because there's a playlist on my blog already.
~End post~
The spirits around you can help but only the spirit within you can guide.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
fun
6/09/2009 08:39:00 PMToday.. went out with Charis, Xinle and Jessica. At first i wanted to sleep.. but it's Charis' birthday.. so.... yeah..
Anyway.. We watched Hannah.. the MOVIE. Nice.. lol. I love that show.. it made me cried like.. so many times.. i think.. 5? Lol.. And it made me laugh many many times too.. That's why.. I LOVE THAT SHOW. Includes friendship.. secrets.. boy-girl love.. and father-daughter love. Basically i cried at every touching parts.. After the show.. went to eat. At delifrance. My food was awesome.. but the girls food seem to sux. Maybe cuz of the price difference.. lol. Eat halfway.. Josh`kor called. Spot check again.. then i passed the phone to Charis.
Josh: Charis.. Happy Birthday..
Charis: DO I KNOW YOU??
*pass back to me*
*Charis high-5 with Jessica*
*Xinle, Charis and Jessica start laughing*
Me: Hello? ... Lol.. HAHAHA~
Josh: Ermm.. okay..??
Yeah.. i think that was fun. Haha.. Anyway, i'm still not feeling well lah. Lol.. i notice i cough alot at night.. and sometimes alittle hard to catch my breath since the Mount Kinabalu trip. Well.. nvr mind.. wadever. Anyway.. today is CHARIS' BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday Charis!!!!!!!!! (: (: (: Smart girl.. lol.. FIRST IN LEVEL WOR.. Lol.. Jiayou and maintain wor.. may all ur wishes come true.. and.. ~~~~NETBALL~~~~
Alright.. Well.. after eating.. Jessica and I went to Charis house. ~FUN~
Pictures will be uploaded when i feel like it.. hehe.. the title will be same as today.. just with a '2' behind. Alright.. done for stuff about today.
Josh`kor.. no need worry so much. I came back from Mount Kinabalu ALIVE. Not feeling well but i'm not dead(: One call is more than enough.. and i don't lie to u since u don't lie to me(: So yeah.. if it makes u feel better.. i'll send a message to u whenever i change a venue for these few days. HAPPY????? Lol.. And.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm slacking at home.. u're stuck at sch STUDYING........... Lol.. i just love doing that to u.. hehe :P Oh yeah.. THANK YOU FOR CARING SO MUCH! (: ... do something about ur message. You reply message so SLOW.. In fact.. sometimes nvr reply.. but if got reply.. it is ESSAY REPLIES(: (: (: unlike AHEMS.. Lol.. okay.. done.. see u soon!(:
L.. yo dude. What's up? Really care alot for u.. really wanna help when u need it.. but u're not opening up to me at all.. and when u need help.. u just shut up or don't reply. Normal chats end like almost immediately.. cuz ur replies are like 1 or 2 words.. i can't continue a conversation that way. You treat me that way in virtual life.. so i let u have a taste of it in real life. I know it isn't sweet. The day before i went for the Mount Kinabalu trip.. i have more than half my mind to hug u before going.. but then.. when i saw u.. i just remembered all ur replies through sms. Then i just decided to ignore u. Walked in with him.. sat there.. faced him and took it as though u were not there. When the bell rang.. i felt kinda happy.. yet felt like crying.. it wasn't nice. But never mind.. i don't care anymore. I don't know what's going on.. i don't care what's going on. But nvr mind.. You're like .. there yet NOT THERE. You have a place there.. but yet never ever there anymore. Well.. maybe u're too stress.. so yeah.. i guess we'll talk.. AFTER your O levels.. good luck. Study hard. Sayonara. Take good care of yourself. I said this before.. and i'll say it again although i know u'll nvr carry it out.. call me if anything happens.
Mr B.. Yo yo yo yo yo!!!!!!!!!!!! (: (: (: (: (: !!! Lol. Mr B!! 5 months!! I cannot last! I tell u arh.. Mount Kk.. 3 nights.. i first 2 nights cry at night.. last night puke like donno what.. HAHA. You know.. i find it so weird why it's so so so hard to let go? I totally don't know that person anymore. I forgot so much about him.. yet i still can remember the pain.. and feel it every night. Cry about the same damn thing over and over again for no good reason at all. And then can just laugh all over it in the morning. Mr B.. why arh? How can ONE guy make that much of a difference?.. I noticed this at Mount Kinabalu... I DON'T LOVE HIM AT ALL. NEVER DID AND NEVER WILL. But why cannot let go of the memories? .. Anyway... why ur bill always bomb de~
N.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLADYS..
sorry gladys.. can't turn up for ur birthday tmr. Today went out le.. today ur birthday.. thought u all celebrating today.. haiz..
Xinle.. TOMORROW.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY XINLE.. (EARLY BY ONE DAY) I say early first arh.. don't say i never say hor.. Lol..
~End post~
Not everything can go your way. Sometimes u just have to lose..
It doesn't matter how u get there.. doesn't have to quick... cuz sometimes.. that's not always the best way.
Monday, June 1, 2009
update
6/01/2009 10:05:00 PMSat went kayaking.. weather still okay lah. Sunday also got kayaking ..but i didn't kayak cuz of a reason. Haha. The rest went down water.. i ended up sleeping at the shelter.. The part Cs that went also slept there( WITH EVERYTHING ON, U PERVERTS ).. (Perverts include AGNES ZHANG :p ). Sunday.. after the rest of the part Bs launch kayaks.. Ms Ho, the part Cs.. and me went to the golden mile hawker. Sit there.. fell asleep. Then.. wake up.. eat. Went to shelter ..sleep.. the part Bs came back to shore for lunch then after they launch again. Asshida, Thinaesh and me.. went to watch movie. Haziq and Iman went to arcarde i think? And Ms Ho.. went to meet someone. Lol.. The show rawks. Bugis stuff nice. I wanna go there shop like siao again. Hehe.
Anyway.. mostly EVERYONE gonna fail 2 star.. so yeah.. whole platoon retake again bah. Haiz. Well yeah.. anyway.. today.. went science centre.. the chemistry thingy. Fun(: Cuz with my friends(: Anyway.. after it.. kena scolded by my father cuz i made him wait for like LESS THAN 10 SECONDS!!.. Nvr mind.. i just kept quiet.. wadever.. Anyway.. got all the stuff i need for Mount KK i think? (: MOUNT KINABALU!!!!!!!!! WEE!!~
CHANGYEN!! Jessie tell u one isit?? ... that girl... tsk. Naughty girl. Lol.. And.. nice to know u(: See u soon.. lol.
That was random.. i know.
Just now.. on facebook. Nothing better to do mah. Lol.. except watch tv :X Well.. facebook.. do quiz.. do a weird quiz .. donno what hot anot.. lol. Then got comments by Leon and Zai Jie. Lol.. miss them so much sia.. Then Mr Alfie Wong also comment!! I miss him so so so much!! Lol. BEST TEACHER EVER!! Only teacher that can make me love studying. Well... yeah.. haha. He kissed a frog before.. so cool lah. Haha.. the classroom was like.. a pet zone or something? Lol.. and got worms! Super worms!! Lol.. Anyway.. i heard something i didn't hear for 4 years. Lol.. Mr Alfie Wong called me princess pei pei in the comment. Made me laugh like crap! Miss that so much.. i remember i hated it. Lol.. Mr Alfie Wong RAWKS!! BEST TEACHER EVER! (: (: (: Okay.. i'm done.. lol.
Message to ppl:
Josh`kor: u.. need a good talking to. If can.. tmr i gonna talk to u. Haiz.. u hor.. please lah.. Don't arh.. must take care of urself hor.
Mr B: Yo yo. Nurul is crazy. Ignore her.. lol. I tell her already.. she don't believe.. haha XD. 3 June.. i will sms u again. Lol.. MAKE UR BILL BOMB!! :P
Louisse`kor aka busy guy: Is the message solved yet? I didn't hear from u these few days.. Nvr sms me.. always i start conver.. wth lah. Don't care le. Anyway.. the message.. u ask from Fanna. No point solving it after Mount KK trip.. wadever lah. Haiz.. u take care..
Qing: MOUNT KINABALU! Lol.. 4th June.. 7am report(: See u then(:
Cyn: Choose number 4!! He good!!!!!!!!!!! Lol..
Netballers: Tmr got training wor.. lol. I hope i can wake up to go see u all.. Lol :D
Part Bs : 2 star.. all retake? Gosh.. Nvr mind.. we will do better de! Part Bs got potential de(: Mr Chun leave.. doesn't mean that we all can become like donno what. Part Bs jiayou! We WILL and we MUST work to the top TOGETHER. As a batch.. as a whole.. as a PART B NCC SEA.. we will do it(: Part Bs le.. we got juniors le.. lol..
~End post~
Achievement - It is not enough to aim; you must hit your target.
Success - It is not an option.
Wealth - It is what you save and invest not what you spent.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Today morning.. still my turn to do pledge. Haha :D
Anyway.. morning.. as usual. Sit at front porch doing the usual thing i do. MESSAGE PPL:D Who? Mr B. Haha XD. Well.. went to look for him.. got the card... passed him the money. Then he asked something.. then i showed him my hand.. then he gave that stupid disgusted look and walked into the boys toilet. Lol.. so funny lah. Anyway.. after that.. continue sms-ing. Seriously.. i'm gonna make his bill BOMB! Lol.. like.. every single day sms him.
Pledge duty. Think i did fine today(: Continued sms-ing Mr B.. and that dumb dumb joke with me.. make me laugh so much.
Mr B said: " My friends were captivated by ur voice".
How i reply? The usual.. HUH??? Lol.
Mr B: " While u were doing pledge.. They were amazed by ur beautiful voice.. THEY WANT MORE OF YOU!! "
Me: " Are you joking? "
blablabla.. then found out he was joking.. OBVIOUSLY. Lol.. but made me laugh so so so much. Well.. yeah.. classes.. boring... sec 2 had the assembly thingy.. even more boring.. CONGRATS CHARIS!! MY DEAREST BESTIE!! GOT 1ST IN SEC 2 COHORT SIA!! WOO!
11.30pm.. went off for kayaking.. 2 star.. theory. Lol.. i had fun(: I'm glad i did. Well.. tmr also will have.. and sunday too:D I might kena sunburn :O Not good. Lol.. ended at 4 plus.. reached sch le.. went to eat with kor and Maybelline. Jessie, Shi Cheng.. Chang Yen, Daniel were also there.. that's all right? I not sure.. lol. Then.. Maybelline, Jessie, Shi Cheng, Chang Yen and Daniel left. Then Bing Chen came. Well.. after that.. all of us left.. went back to school for ptm. You know.. i'm surprise kor didn't punch me today.. HAHA! At front porch with the same few ppl.. Jessie, Shi Cheng and Maybelline all these ppl.. and Josh`kor lah.. duh. Jessie grabbed my hand.. see.. then smacked my stomach.. crazy siao za bo. Lol.. she so cute.. lalalala. Then.. someone passed by.. lol. He was smiling and waving to Jessie and company.. i looked.. turned away.. and my face totally changed from happy to no emotion. After he left.. Jessie looked at me.. ask me chill.. blablabla.. then she went off. Then Chang Yen said.. relax.. then she went off. I was thinking.. weird... how she knows.. lol.
Well.. Parent teachers meeting.. NOT NICE. Wadever.. Both teachers speak to my father.. wth lah.. add oil to fire. Bleh~ Nvr mind.. now everything okay le. Well.. after ptm.. walked to the car.. so many ppl say hi to me.. i just faked a smile out. Then walk to the car that time.. Yun Qing and Asshida shout my name to say hi.. i give the stupid face and said not good time.. lol. After that.. i called them and explain.. I think some ppl can see that.. duh.
Anyway.. about 6.40pm reach home.. i left my bags at a side.. grab my file with my phone(in my pocket) ..said i'm going down.. and went downstairs. Went to the swimming pool and sat there. Sit there.. chill.. sing songs.. watch ppl swim.. sing more songs.. cooled down. That's why i feel so awesome now.. HAHA. Well... yeah.. i got scolded.. wadever.. that's why i went down. Found new ways to chill ... but it takes long time. Not like the old painful way.. hmm.. nvr mind. Gym rawks(: Anyway.. i'm still gonna go mount kk and prefect camp!!!!! HAHA.. sleep in safety car when the other prefects having night walk.. good idea sia. Lol..
Till now.. Louisse still nvr solve the message. Well.. i don't know how long i never call him kor from the bottom of my heart le.. but nvr mind. He cares.. in a ... very.. not .. caring.. way. No msg.. no conversation.. no face to face talk for long. Wadever lah. The msg.. the answers are with Fanna.. and Sheryl. He wanna know what i wanna say.. he can ask them. If he even reads this post.. he will know that. Wadever.. now all i want.. is the Mount KK TRIP!! Relax.. lol..
Gonna go pack my bag now.. tmr kayaking(: Wee~ Oh yeah.. last few things.. THANK YOU MR B FOR BEING THERE.. THANK YOU JOSH`KOR:D.. THANK YOU MAYBELLINE FOR THE.. Don't think.. Don't care.. Don't bother.. but u need to show me how to leh.. And lastly...
:D HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAYBELLINE!!! :D
~End post~
Everyone leaves footprints in ur mind.. but the ones that leave footprints in ur heart are the ones u will truly remember.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Well.. Anyway.. yesterday. Ermm.. about 10pm++ My father came back. Scolded the crap out of me. And yesterday.. is the day i cried the most. In my whole 14 year old life.. i have never cried that badly before. Well.. while crying.. i was doing stupid stuff.. then i tried making myself faint.. Ending up just choking on my tears. Wadever.. Well.. yeah.. my results sux. My father till now still don't know my results yet.
Anyway.. i have never raised my voice at my father like that before. Well.. sux. Cried for like 30min but still didn't stop. My table was crowded with tissue papers of my tears.. the floor was even wet.. and my pillow too. Gosh.. well.. yeah. At 11.03pm.. Mr B called. I didn't pick up.. continued crying.. he sent a msg hoping it will calm me down then he called again at 11.04pm. I picked up.. so embarrassing lah. Anyway.. really gotta thank Mr B for being there. Well.. yeah.. i think he was freaked out.. and damn worried. Well.. SORRY! Anyway.. hang up le.. continue to sms him. I think we sms till phone bill bomb already. Like.. EVERYDAY. Lol... but i enjoy smsing Mr B(: Thank u Mr B.. i managed to get myself up and prepared for school today(: I'm glad i did..
Well.. today.. came to sch. My eyes were swollen. Early morning.. went into the office. Saw Chean Pin. Didn't say anything to her.. as if i cold shoulder to her like that. Well.. JIE, SORRY. IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF THE J THING THEN I COLD TO U DE... IT'S CUZ OF MY FATHER. SRY.. Ermm.. yeah.. if u want explainations.. i'll talk to u.. just.. ring ppl around me or something? .. my phone.. out of prepaid today.. hehe. Well.. after that .. pledge duty. Was choking on my tears while saying the pledge.. damn. Manage to hold my tears back. But come down.. kena from Mr Lee. I say pledge too soft. Well.. yeah. My voice sounded weird to myself. Lol.. Nvr mind. wadever.. emo emo emo emo.. then went a little happier after recess.. My eyes were not swollen anymore.. but they still hurt.
After sch.. eat lunch.. sit there chat chat. Netballers went up for netball.. Josh came. Emo kor.. haiz. Pei him.. chase Celine away.. cuz need private talk. Well.. then went to see the netballers. In the middle.. like 4 plus.. Josh called.. it was the netballers break time. Samantha was giving me the stupid silly face.. lol.. saying: " Who wor!?!?! BOYFRIEND RIGHT!!" .. Well yeah.. lol. No.. not my boyfriend. My god brother. Left the netballers.. went to Mac to look for kor and Maybelline. Stay there till 5 plus.. reaching 6. Then went home with kor.. Maybelline went off at westmall there. MAYBELLINE!!! REMEMBER!! YOU TEACH ME DE!
DON'T THINK,
DON'T CARE,
DON'T BOTHER!
Maybelline.. must be my role model... what u don't want me to do.. u better not do. What u want me to do.. do it to guide me (:
Yeah(: Anyway.. my phone no prepaid le lah!!!! Lol... Well.. forgive and forget! Must forget.. Pei San needs to find her old self back. The happy go lucky girl. The innocent girl.. the one that took things seriously at the right time and was loved by all her friends. The one that gets ACCEPTABLE results.. i want NEW AND IMPROVED yet old me back! I'm gonna mix both. I KNOW I CAN DO IT!! Well.. actually i don't have much of a choice. Hehe.. okay(: Gotta strive for what i want.
~End post~
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow;
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead;
Walk beside me, and just be my friend.
I really miss u.. but yeah.. sometimes.. i just gotta forget about it. But then again..
Friends are forever, you might lose them but you'll never forget them.. so i don't know what to do. I'm lost in directions. Wishing u would come back and tell me what to do. Be it talking to me.. or just smacking me.. i miss every single of those times.. now that the friendship is over.. all i have to remember u by.. is my memories.
Monday.. went to watch Night at the museum 2 with Charis and Jessica.. AGNES AND XINEN EXTRA :P Then.. we anyhow sit.. cannot find the seat.. who cares. The MONKEY SO CUTE!!! .. The dinosaur reminds me of Louisse.. i think the dinosaur cuter.. hehe. Play with rope u know!! So cute!!
Yesterday.. stayed in school. Wanted to watch the rugby match at first.. but ended up going to the mac. They lost.. sad right? Normal lah.. hehe. Rugby ppl might kill me.. who cares.. haha! One of them is beside me now.. why? Cuz we are in the computer lab. Teacher say can use de.. hehe.. Mr Liu.. HAHA. Well.. sms Louisse.. he tell me he going Vivo.. guess what. I saw him sitting at Mac! GRR!!!! Nvr mind.. he was sitting beside me after that.. Anna, Agnes, Charis and Xinle were with me. They were insulting Louisse.. kinda fun. Lol.. Louisse.. had fun too i guess? Shi Cheng, Maybelline and company were at another table. GTG! BELL RING LE!!
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Yesterday, went out with Ying and Ni Ming kor kor (both my cousins).. as stated in the schedule post from last time. Anyway.. went to Bedok.. reached at 10.40am. Then went to East Coast with Ying after meeting her at Bedok. Kor soon joined us.. and he was greeted by a smack by Ying. Or was it a kick? Lol.. poor thing sia. Then we went to East Coast park. Had fun.. went roller blading.. then went for lunch. Lunch was at Hong Kong cafe. One thing to note.. YING AND KOR TAKE VERY LONG TO DECIDE WHAT TO EAT. Well.. while eating.. kor got Lou's number from Ying.. wth lah. I so don't wanna know what he's planning. Damn shit.. seems bad.
Anyway.. after that.. went to walk walk.. lol.. went to Tampines. Walk walk.. then went to Safra. Wanted to go bowl.. but didn't in the end.. went to Mind's cafe. Stay there play. Lol.. someone went over excited and he spill one cup of drink.. lol. so funny lah.. so fun.. Hehe. It was about 7 then.. so went back to Tampines interchange. Went to eat.. eat le.. wanted to go back.. it was about 8plus then. Then kor received a msg. He didn't show me what the content was.. but i could guessed. He showed the message to Ying. They both laughed and the message then looked at me. So yeah.. i guess from kor's mother.. asking me to stay over at their house. Then kor ask if i got anything on the next day(which is today).. i said 'yes'. Made stupid stuff up such as i need to do homework. Then he say not accepted and he called his mother. So yeah.. gotta go to his place to stay for the night.. i started whining, complaining and arguing. Lol.. was like a wilful spoilt brat.
On the way there.. kena lectured again. Kor lecture me.. and yes.. KOR, I DID LISTEN OKAY. Zzz.. The stuff he said really do make sense. Well.. in the bus.. i kept quiet.. Ying called. Then kor soon said:
"Orh.. she WAS whining like a spoilt brat.. now.. she 'busy keeping quiet'. Lol.. "
Yup.. i continue keeping quiet. After he hung up.. he continued his lecture.
Some stuff he said was.. " There's a limit to how much i can care. There's also a limit to how much ur god brothers can care. Blood is thicker than water." stuff like that.. also have stuff such as in the future.. i will be on my own and stuff. Well.. i did listen okay.. He also said stuff like.. " well.. i know there will be some other stuff that will get u back to it.. " Okay.. yeah. Anyway.. i love my cousin!! (: He rawks okay! Well.. i hope i can remember what he said. And.. i hope he's not angry. Is he? I don't know.. anyway.. he doesn't read my blog.. Hehe. Went to his place.. said over. He damn funny sia.. care to extreme ways.. lol.
His reason for not letting me back was?? " It's late already.. now reaching 9.. u reach home.. about 10 plus. One girl.. travel from east to west.. go home alone... no one else at home.. later someone follow u home how? I'm not gonna risk it. You're under my responsibilities.. blablabla" Hehe.. so funny lah..
He's so funny. Lol.. Before sleeping.. he still keep reminding me to cover blanket properly?? Lol.. so funny. Anyway.. he's 18 years old.. kor very scary.. results so pro.. lol. Hehe.. well.. today reached home at 11 plus AM. Then.. slept.. lol. Kor went for tuition.. still wondering.. He stays at Upper East Coast area.. yet comes to Upper Bukit Timah for tuition!?!? FAR SIA!! .. haiya.. nvr mind.
My results sux.. so yeah.. think will kena parent teacher meeting. My father is gonna kill me.. wadever.. he still doesn't know my results. Mount KK coming.. i still think i'm losing my friend( Qing ).. haiz.. damn lah.. wadever..
Message to ppl:
Qing.. what's happening between us.. don't tell me change. It's not a good reason at all.. ppl change.. u change too.. only the smartest and dumbest of man doesn't change as they don't need to.
Josh.. why now always emo? Something wrong?? .. haiz.. why... anything.. can call or sms me.. alright? Cheer up.
Maybelline.. girl.. gotta smile!! (: Smile like me!!!!!!!(: Well, most of the time.. hehe.. anything call me okay? 29 May ur birthday.. how u celebrating?
Part Bs.. bond more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hehe..
Netballers.. ermm.. u ppl.. so evil.. lol. Crazy girls.. haha. Will go for ur games de(:
~End post~
What's yours will come back to you... what's not will never stay with you.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
YOU PPL ARE RUDE!! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT'S CALLED TAG BEFORE LEAVING!! TSK TSK TSK TSK.. HORRIBLE SIA! Lol.. Mr Chun.. i talking about u.. Hehe.. and RYAN FOO also. Plus.. many many others.. tsk! You ppl... haiyoyo!! Lol.. Byebye.. i go sleep le.. TIRED:S Leg pain~
Friday, May 22, 2009
Early morning.. sit outside front porch wait for bell to ring.. Louisse came with Nadia and Hafiz to take Newspapers. I was feeling crappy.. no mood. Give me a break.. i really need one. Louisse asked if i'm okay.. didn't hear him at first.. saw him with Nad and Hafiz.. so i just turned away.. But Charis told me he calling me. So yeah.. obviously said yes. Say no, he also cannot do anything.. so what for get him all worried for. Zzz.. yeah.. then he went off with Nad and Hafiz... wadever lah.. gah..
Today lessons.. all boring. After hcl, went for prefect meeting. Hehe.. meeting details are a secret :X Cannot say.. will die. Lol XD. Well.. after meeting, went for to eat.. DUH! When eating.. got rugby boys beside.. i was eating with Xinle and the rest. Eat halfway.. the rugby boys suddenly go shy~.. so weird lah.. They were saying..
Amos: You ask!
Another rugby boy A: YOU ASK!! YOU CLOSER!!
Amos: You ask!!
Rugby boy B: Amos! You ask!!
Amos: You ask!!
Rugby boy A: YOU ASK!!
Amos: I don't know her!!
Rugby buy A: You ask!! You know her!!
Amos: YOU ASK!!
When they argue.. i was thinking they were crazy.. and they proved me right.. lol. I didn't know rugby boys could be shy.. haha :D
After that.. one guy came to me and asked if Puay got ask for my number?.. I didn't really hear.. Didn't hear the name.. Then.. yeah.. i just said huh? Lol.. Then they said that guy is their 'boss'? .. ate finish le.. so said bye to the girls.. ignore the rugby guys and went for ncc(: NCC TRAINING(: Hehe.. didn't go the rubbish dump place.. wonder if my classmates have fun there. Well.. didn't go as.. had Mount Kinabalu briefing with travel agency. Looks so high.. then i went saddistic.. hehe. Ermm.. yeah. I thought of jumping from the Mountain top and wondering if will die. Like..wth lah. Yeah.. then went back to hyper for ncc. The trip looks so tough :S sia lah~ I scared i cannot climb. FYI: RUNNING AND CLIMBING ARE TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.
During ncc.. pass by netballers.. lol. OBVIOUSLY.. they disturb me..
Agnes: Betrayer betrayer~ (jk de lah.. duh)
First parade was held at netball court so yeah.. Lol. Crazy netballers.. lol.. BUT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!! AHEMS!.. alright.. i love ncc more okay :X I'm gonna die.. netballers are gonna kill me. Hehe. Anyway.. Mt KK sea cadet participants went 75 stories up and 75 stories down. PAIN OKAY!! I was like.. gonna faint.. Cynthia said i look like tomato then.. Lol.. face red red. Haha.
Hmm.. so many things to do.. so little time! I need more time.. time to rest also! I wanna sleep 12 hours a day!! Hehe.. okay.. that's not possible. Wadever.. i'll just do that on Sunday. Oh yeah.. my father is pissed with my eng results.. i only showed him that. :S Parent-teacher meeting.. i sure kena.
Results(pass/fail):
1. Geography.. FAIL
2. Math.. just pass
3. Hcl.. FAIL
4. Sciences.. FAIL
5. Lit.. pass
6. Home Eco.. pass.
7. Art.. pass.
8. Eng.. pass
Well.. they sux. All the results are less than 65 i think.. damn it.well.. i'm so in trouble. Last year level position 63.. this year? Haiz.. i have no idea.
Anyway.. after ncc ended.. sit at front porch. After the girls left for home.. i sat there and continue waiting.. Aisyah was with Syaza at another table. Syaza not feeling well.. hope she's okay now~ Well.. while sitting there.. chat with the ppl around lah. The ncc land guy(donno how to spell his name), Horny bastard:P ( Joseph isit? ) and Weiting. Weiting keep walking around.. crazy de. Horny bastard keep talking horny.. DUH. Lol.. horny senior of mine.. And, Gavin got A1 for Chemistry.. CONGRATS(: Well.. Josh`kor was at tuition. He like always in tuition de.
Keep on sms sms sms. Yup.. after i came home.. ate and blablabla.. sms YR.. for the last time. Yup.. really for the last time.. cuz i really gotta let go. There's no other way. I lost my god bro and my bestest friend ever.. now i'm losing another best friend cuz of him.. that time spend too much time with him then didn't spend any time with her. Double lose. Haiz.. Yup.. sms him for the last and final time.. it was stated in the msg. Well.. yeah. Details.. are *secret*.. Only 1 person other than him knows the msg details. Yup.. No one can replace him. In fact.. no one can replace anyone to me. Once u really enter my life and left memories for me.. i'll nvr forget you. And when i don't forget u.. i don't wanna lose u. Yup.. that's to all my friends.. when i lose a friend.. i'll feel like it's the end of the world. Well, it's obvious.. isn't it?
Well.. that friendship has ended even though i really don't want it to end. But yeah.. it's too late.. He moved on. Yup.. He's fine now. I should be fine too.. but i really can't forget. Now i'm losing another friend cuz of him? Like.. wth? Not totally cause of him.. but partly. Haiz.. Alright.. will keep smiling.. i'm gonna keep smiling.. and act that i'm totally fine. If i cry.. i'll cry behind my friends.. yup.. cuz i really don't wanna hurt my friends anymore. And Xinle.. sorry.. yeah.. i know u feel like boxing me?.. And yeah.. go ahead. I will wake up from this nightmare soon. Yeah.. i know my results drop alot.. i gotta wake up. Will wake up. Wake up and start studying for myself.. not for others but for myself. Gotta prove to my father that i really can do it. Well.. i hope i can..
Anyway.. i received a call around 9plus. Wondering who is it..
Me: Hello? hello?? .. Is anyone there?? Hello??
.. the person didn't reply at all.. it was totally quiet..
Me: ermm.. hello?.. never mind.. bye.
I hung up just like that. Maybe i should have waited at least 1 min .. i hung up in less than 10s.. i wonder who that was. Cannot be Benny.. cuz he wanna prank me.. he will call all night long de. Well.. whoever u are.. whatever u need to say. Please call again? And this time.. tell me something?.. Well.. yeah.. cuz it was after i sent him that msg.. :S Cannot be him.. i don't believe it's him.. so yeah? Haiz.. sad sad..
MISS INDEPENDENT GOTTA WAKE UP AND STAND UP BY HERSELF AGAIN! Well.. yeah.. this miss independent is not gonna let this ruin her whole life.. it has already killed my sec 2 life.. and my streaming year :S Gosh.. so in trouble.. :S HAIZ!! Well.. that's all.. i really don't wanna continue.
~End post~
A true and strong friendship can be put through any test.. so yeah.. i'm guessing that bond we share wasn't strong enough.. cuz it totally got cut off. Now.. we're like.. not even friends..
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
quiz tagged by mei
5/20/2009 09:03:00 PM1.Are you single?-Yes.
2.What your favourite number?-1
3.What song is stuck in you head?-Promise by Vanessa Hudgens
4.Are you happy with your life now?-No, i'm not. I feeling like fainting.. going to a hospital.. and rest there.
5.Are you involved with anyone?-No.. what stupid question is this..
6.What is you favourite subject in school?-Nothing.. i just wanna rest.
7.What should you be doing right now?-Hehe.. suppose to be doing hcl work.
8.Why are you single?-cuz.. wait.. i'm not saying. *secret*
9.What are you doing tomorrow?-School.. some stupid after sch crap.. then come home.. fold no.4 and polish boots.
10.What the last thing you ate?-Chicken Rice.. i didn't eat that for really long time..
11.What were you doing at 10 last night?-watching tv.
12.What were you doing at midnight last night?-sleeping.
13.What was the last song you listen to?-Right now( Na na na )
14.Can you recall the last time you sincerely like someone?-Ermm.. ermm.. i can't be sure.. nvr mind.. i don't wanna say.
15.Are you afraid of falling in love?-Yes, i'm really scared.. once bitten, twice shy.
16.How many window are there in your computer?-3 windows.
17.What will you be doing after this?-Do hcl work? I think?
18.Do you enjoy late night phone conversation?-Yes.. i do enjoy them.. but must be from the right person..
19.Do you like to be cuddle?-Depends by who?
20.What do you think about starbuck's coffee?-Taste like coffee.. duh. Nice.. hehe
21.When was the last time you met someone you really like?-now? .. ermm.. hehe
22.Do you have a camera?-Yeah.
23.What CD did you last buy?-I didn't buy any CD.
24.Honestly is someone on your mind?-Yes.. him.. and another him. The two brothers for life.
25.Have you ever wish that you can go to back & change something?-Yes... now.. i wish i can go back and said yes to that question.. if i did went to meet him.. maybe i wouldn't get my heart broken at all..?.. I miss my bestest male friend ever~... damn.
26.Can you play any instrument?-I wish i could play the guitar.. but daddy don't let me learn.
27What's something you really want right now?-Him becoming my bestest male friend again.. or more.. or wadever.. just.. i just wanna be out of my misery.
28.Last time you have a butterflies in your stomach?-Ermm.. when taking badge.. was the first.. was afraid i would screw up.
29.Could you ever be friend with someone that break your heart?-I'm hoping to?
30.Who was the last person you had deep conversation?-Mr B!! I wanna talk to him again!!
The CAN's:
1.Can you do a cartwheel?-No..
2.Can go touch your toes?-Yup..
3.Can your tongue touch your nose?- No..
The DID's:
1.Did you ever want to be a doctor?-No.
2.Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?-No.
3.Did you ever want to be a teacher or coach?-Yes.. last time. Not anymore.
4.Did you ever wanted to break the law?-No.
The DO's:
1.Do you like rollercoaster?-Yeah.
2.Do you own a bike?-Not anymore.
3.Do you like football?-Don't like playing it.. like watching it.
The Last:
1.Last person you hang out with?-Xinle.
The last thing:
1.What was the last thing you drank?-Melted ice kachang.
2.What was the last movie you watch?-17 Again.
3.What was the last thing you read?-This quiz.
The who:
1.Who do you miss right now?-DK, BK, HIM..
2.Who last talk to you on the phone?-my father.
Have you ever:
1.Fail a subject?-Yeah, duh..
2.Accomplished a life goal?-Like?
3.Thought you were pregnant?-What the hell??... I 14 only leh.. damn shit.. talk bullshit.
Tag 5 people to do this quiz: Ermm.. anyone.. don't really care.
Yesterday.. didn't blog. Cuz.. didn't come online.
Went gym after school with Nasyitah and Josh.
Had fun(: De stress(:
But today stress again lah. Damn..
Results out.. i failed 2 subjects so far.
Higher Chinese.. i fail paper 1. Paper 2 not sure yet.. tmr release.
Math.. Just pass.. 50 out of 100.
English.. 53% or something..
Geography.. fail. 35 out of 80. FAIL
Home Eco.. 64 out of 100.
Physics.. 11 out of 50. FAIL
left with art and chemistry.. i'm so in trouble.
Confirm kena parent-teacher meeting this year. From 63 in level... donno gonna drop till what.
Feel like crying.. damn.. my father is gonna kill me. Oh yeah... Vivien took my penknife.. wth? Like.. it was with Bao Xiu..then after she found out it was mine.. she took it away.. GRR!! Nvr mind. She can keep it.. i don't need it anymore.
After english today.. before math.. 4e1 was outside. Talked to Maybelline.. but went off fast as i was gonna be late for math. Louisse called my name.. didn't reply cuz i didn't see him. Turned back.. saw someone familiar.. then saw Louisse.. but mood change le.. so run off. Yeah.. Math.. is like.. the subject i put most effort into.. yet.. i get this shit results. Damn sad. Haiz.. When my father finds out my results.. he's gonna say stuff like drop out of school again. I'm so dropping out of hcl next year.. LCL sure will not let me stay de.. confirm get kicked out le. Sad..
DK didn't reply my message. Nvr mind.. doesn't matter. Not gonna sms him le.. waste his phone bill.
Alright.. somehow.. so many things are happening.. i have been smiling and laughing in school.. yeah.. but i'm so not okay. Wish someone would just be there for me. Nvr mind.. it's impossible.. DK got his own life.. BK too busy.. in fact.. everyone is too busy with their own life. Or maybe it's just me?.. Miss Independent wanna depend on someone.. but there's no one that i can depend on.. is there?..
Anyway.. i think i'm jealous of someone. Gosh.. i can't believe it. Lol.. i remember i use to dislike her.. cuz i thought she was taking all his attention away. And after she came along.. he didn't really give a shit about me anymore although he keep saying he does care. Yeah.. okay.
At 2plus.. ask Nad what she got for her Math.. she said don't tell me.. wth. Lol.. nvr mind. Aisyah.. was.. sad?.. Hope she's alright already.
Dad is gonna kill me.. stupid shity results. Yeah.. i sux.. I know...
Friday.. got ncc training and Mount Kinabalu briefing with the travel agency. 10 June.. Gladys birthday.. celebrating at Cynthia's house.. in the night.
I'm gonna end here now... since i feel totally like crap..
One more time.. if i cry in school.. asking if i'm okay once is enough.. don't need to keep asking.. lol. Yes, JESSICA.. I'M SAYING YOU. Lol.. And.. don't have to get Junn Yiow to ask bah.
And Fanna.. change that pic can? lol.. it's so ugly.. eww.. lol.. Nad's pic so pretty.. Lou's pic so cute.. haha.. handsome? haha..
~End post~
I'm holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it won't.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Updated plans..
5/18/2009 10:28:00 PM23 May.. going out to East Coast Park with Ying and Ni Ming ge ge.. My cousins.
29 May.. MAYBELLINE'S BIRTHDAY.. Maybelline wanna go watch movie? Lol.. and eat?
1st June.. Eating with Celine`mei. Fanna's classes end late.. cannot make it.. haiz..
2nd June.. Farewell(5 days only) meal with Xinle(: For Mount KK trip.. Most likely.. will be asking Charis to come also? Xinle wanna celebrate birthday with Charis.. Xinle flying donno where on Charis' birthday.
3rd June.. Prefect camp.
4th June.. going out of prefect camp early. For MOUNT KINABALU TRIP! Wee!! AND JOSH`kor's birthday.
7th June.. back from Mount Kinabalu trip.
8th June.. let me recover from trip can? lol.. BREAK TIME.
9th June.. movie. CHARIS BIRTHDAY~ Most likely watching 'Night at the Museum 2' with Charis and Jessica. AND GLADYS BIRTHDAY!!! DAMN IT!?!? HOW??!?!
10th June. Bowling with Charis and Jessica. AND Xinle's birthday.. but she will be overseas..
Yup.. that's all for now.. still waiting for the rest to confirm.. you know.. you people decide on a date VERY SLOWLY.. lol XD. Agnes, netballers and Hannah.. i'm talking about u ppl. Hehe :D
Tmr morning.. gonna meet Louisse in the morning.. i hope i will not cry. Damn it. Yeah.. he will be with 'retards' .. Yeah. Silent treatment has ended. 11 days. Felt like 1 month? Damn.. yeah. Okay.. i'm feeling so much better. Hehe :D Must thank Darryl. Not the Darryl from our sch( i don't even know him ).. The Darryl from squash. Yes.. my ex.. Hehe. One msg from him made me happy again. Yeah.. *secret* cannot say what's in it. Lol. Yeah.. That's all for now(: Tmr the field trip. HAIZ.. BORING! Hehe.. at least no lessons.
For Mount Kinabalu Participants..
Please be informed that the trip is still on. ( SWINE FLU BLEH~!!! ) THERE WILL BE BRIEFING WITH THE TRAVEL AGENCY THIS FRIDAY AT CLASSROOM 20 @ 2.30PM. Please help to pass this msg to other participants.
And.. sea cadets.. check the board. THERE WILL BE TRAINING THIS FRIDAY. That includes PART As.. You ppl better come. Done(:
~End post~
It's the letting go that is the hardest.
pissed off.. venting my anger..
5/18/2009 09:05:00 PMDAMN HELL! GAH! ...What the hell sia! ... Why? Why? WHY?!?! .. I'm so so so pissed. My father just scolded me out of sudden.
DAMN IT! GAH! ... What he scold me for?
Results.
RESULTS ARE NOT EVEN OUT YET AND I GOT SCOLDED FOR RESULTS?!!?!?
DAMN IT!
He just said if i'm always getting this kind of results.. i must well not study. DROP OUT OF SCHOOL BETTER.
WHAT THE HELL LAH!! ... GAH!!!!!!!!! ... I'm so damn piss.. what the hell lah.
Last year.. try hard to study.. get 63 in level for position. He? NOT HAPPY. Fine! I know it sux! BUT IT'S ME!!... DAMN HELL.
I KNOW MY RESULTS SUX.. BUT DAD.. DO YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME EVERY SINGLE DAMN WEEK AND EVERY SINGLE TIME U MEET UR SISTERS?
.. I'm not Ying Ying.. And i'm most definitely NOT NI MING.
Quit comparing me with my cousins!!!! I'm not them! .. Why can't u compare me with MYSELF? .. Even when i improve.. u just say.. okay.. but can be better. You don't even know what i'm going through. You don't know what shit i went through!
.. This time examinations.. i'm gonna get shit results FOR SURE.
Damn it.. i already woke up.. i already told u i'm gonna work hard for sa2. DAMM HELL.. YOU THINK IT'S EASY LIVING MY LIFE?? DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHIT DID I WENT THROUGH? No, YOU DON'T .. WHY.....
Everytime i tell u i'm gonna improve.. i do really try.. when i do improve.. all u say is okay. WHAT THE HELL?? You think i still can study like that? When i do study.. u're not happy. When i can't... like now.. what's gonna happen? I don't know. I still remember u threw my bag out of the house when i was in primary school. And i remembered you wanted to tear my homework apart once. Do u really think that can make my results improve? ... No.. it can't. All it has been doing is making me cry. Alright?? I got enough on my mind. I don't need my father to add on to my stress. Damn hell. I so hate this.. you have no idea how much i feel like doing what now. YOU HAVE NO IDEA! GAH!!!!!.. damn hell.. i'm so not gonna do it.. i can't.. i must not. GAH!! I'M DAMN HELL PISSED AND CRYING! DAMN IT!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
waking up
5/17/2009 11:45:00 PMAlright. Fei went to sleep le. Talking to her made me so happy. Lol :D
I'm moving on. Don't care le!! 6months .. long enough! Must move on! Lol :D
Yi Ren? .. Friends? He don't wanna talk to me.. wadever.. i don't care. Don't even understand why he don't even wanna talk to me.
Anyway.. i finally realise what i have been crying for all these time. It's not cause i lost a boyfriend.. lol.. HE WAS NEVER MY BOYFRIEND.. He had a girlfriend then(: She rawks okay! Lol:D
Yup.. i have been crying cuz .. i lost a really really really awesome friend and a god bro.. Yup.
And the way he broke tie was just.. cruel and weird. Wadever.
Slash, cut and cry.. for what?
For losing a friend. But yeah.. it's all over now.
Well.. yeah.. I got nothing to regret.. cuz he was really there for me as a god brother. And i noticed.. no matter how crappy i feel.. he would make me laugh.. and i have never cried in front of him. Yup.. that's why when i lost him as wadever.. i just kept on crying.. kept on thinking. And all those weird thoughts.. i don't know how they came about.. Lol.. maybe it was his msg? .. But it's just pure rude and cruel to say f*** off.. Like.. WTH? Hmm.. yup.. hehe.. Feel so awesome now.
Oh yeah.. BK is still playing disappearing act.. whole day.. log in log out log in log out.. donno for what. Haiz.. hope he's okay.
DK.. still piss as ever.. Yup.. he can be piss all he wants. I said enough sorry.. i can't do more.. Zzz.. haiz.. sad.. never mind.. he got group 'retards' to back him up.. those ppl are enough..
YR.. ermm.. i don't know what to say.. i just wanna be friends again.. alright?.. I don't need to be ur god sister again.. i just want u back as a good friend.. which i kinda think is impossible since.. nvr mind... I don't even think he reads my blog..
Oh yeah.. and..
PEOPLE THAT READ MY BLOG.. START TAGGING.. DON'T BE RUDE. THAT INCLUDES YOU!! AND.. MR CHUN.. AND RYAN FOO.. And LOUISSE CARLO ZAIDE BRAGAIS! Lol.. yup.. that's all ..
I feel awesome!(: Hehe..
Oh yeah.. results next week release.. die!.. really die.. gonna fail so much.
Haiz.. Yup.. GOTTA MOVE ON AND I'M FINALLY WAKING UP FROM MY NIGHTMARE! (:
I'm feeling so awesome:D
~End post~
Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
GOSH!!
5/17/2009 10:24:00 PMOH MY GOSH!! Lol!!!!!!! I'm talking to Feilicia!!!! Yes!!... Lol.. i don't know why i'm so happy.. i just am alright? Lol! AHH!! I don't know why.. i don't even know her well. But i really really really miss her. I miss talking to her so so so much.. (:
She.. is my SO CALLED.. jie? Lol.. yeah.. At first is not de. But when he was still my god brother.. He EXPECTED me to call her sister-in-law.. so i just said i'll call her Jie.. Lol.. Yup! I'M SO DAMN HAPPY!! HEHEHE.. Okay.. this is gonna be the shortest post ever. Hope Fei is doing AWESOME there(:
One more thing..
http://www.pillar-of-support.blogspot.com/ MUST VISIT AND TAG THIS BLOG!!!!! Lol XD Hehe
Miley Cyrus.. one in a million
5/17/2009 05:10:00 PMHow did I get here? I turned around and there you were
I didn't think twice or rationalize
'Cause somehow I knew
That there was more that just chemistry
I mean I knew you were kind of into me
But I figured it's too good to be true
I said, "Pinch me, where's the catch this time?"
Can't find a single cloud in the sky
Help me before I get used to this guy
They say that good things take time
But really great things happen
In the blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody
Like you were a million to one
I cannot believe it, you're one in a million
All this time I was looking for love
Tryna make things work that weren't good enough
Till I thought I'm through, said, "I'm done"
And stumbled into the arms of the one
You're making me laugh about the silliest stuff
Say that I'm your diamond in the rough
When I'm mad at you, you come with your velvet touch
Cant believe that I'm so lucky
I have never felt so happy.
Every time I see that sparkle in your eyes
They say that good things take time
But really great things happen
In the blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody
Like you were a million to one
I cannot believe it, you're one in a million
All this time I was looking for love
Tryna make things work that weren't good enough
Till I thought I'm through, said, "I'm done"
And stumbled into the arms of the one
I said, "Pinch me, where's the catch this time?"
Can't find a single cloud in the sky
Help me before I get used to this guy
They say that good things take time
But really great things happen
In the blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody
Like you were a million to one
I cannot believe it, yeah yeah
They say that good things take time
But really great things happen
In the blink of an eye
Thought the chances to meet somebody
Like you were a million to one
I cannot believe it, you're one in a million, yeah
One in a million, yeah
You're one in a million
___________________________________________________
Alright.. that's still one of my fav(: Yeah.. now can relate to the song.. aww!! Sweet? YOUR HEAD LAH~! Lol.. Wadever.. need to move on.. bleh~
Anyway.. DK still angry.. WAH~.. i nvr seen him so pissed before.. haiz. Damn damn damn.. how how how?
And BK gotta stop playing disappearing act.. not fun.
Yup.. hehe.. ending here.. just wanna share this song.. (: Yup.. reminder to friends..
At the end of my post.. there will be quotes.. some may be related to me.. some might not. So DON'T ANYHOW GUESS. Yup.. (:
Oh yeah.. I'M GONNA DIE WHEN RESULTS ARE RELEASE!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
~End post~
Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together.
When one door closes another door opens. But we often look and regret upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones that opened for us.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
IGNORE THIS POST, u have been warned
5/16/2009 11:20:00 PMFUCKING IDIOT! GAH!! WHAT'S THE FUCKNIG PROBLEM!?!!? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DID I DO WRONG?!?!? GAH!! WTF!! ... DAMN IT! WHY CLASH?!?!! HOLIDAY NEVER EVEN START YET!! CLASH ALREADY?!?!! FUCKING IRRITATING!!!!!!!!! MY FAULT MEH?!?!?! I NOT EVEN INFORMED OF IT!!!!!!!!!! FUCKING HELL .. DAMN SHIT IRRITATING BASKET! DAMN HELL!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! WHY EVERYTHING LIKE MY FAULT!?!?! FUCKING HELL GIVE A BREAK!!!!!!! DAMN SHIT BASKET IDIOT! GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn it.. GAH!! fucking irritating!! WHY ALWAYS LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Done.. i feel so so so much better now (:
Long weekend?.. Fun? NO! .. Stuck with e learning.. BLEH! Lol. E learning is .. really.. really.. BORING. And Mr Azhar said ENJOY MY WEEKEND?!?! HOW TO!?!? Lol.. okay.. moving on.
Mount Kinabalu trip is still on for now. 2nd case of swine flu in malaysia.. HAIZ! Why?!?!? Okay.. anyway.. it's still on.. so.. i'm still happy! (: *SMILE!*
Oh yeah.. my schedule will be posted if there's any changes.. so yeah. Hannah wanna go out.. so .. HANNAH, YOU PLAN!! Lol. Hmm.. yeah.. i left out Maybelline's birthday in the last schedule.. and Gladys.. cuz.. my calendar was screwed.. i'm still updating it.
So.. here's the new schedule.
23 May.. going out to East Coast Park with Ying and Ni Ming ge ge.. My cousins.
29 May.. MAYBELLINE'S BIRTHDAY.. How?? HOW?!?! Maybelline wanna go watch movie? Lol.. and eat?
1st June.. Eating with Fanna and Celine`mei.
2nd June.. Farewell(5 days only) meal with Xinle(: For Mount KK trip.. Most likely.. will be asking Charis to come also? Xinle wanna celebrate birthday with Charis.. Xinle flying donno where on Charis' birthday.
3rd June.. Prefect camp.
4th June.. going out of prefect camp early. For MOUNT KINABALU TRIP! Wee!! AND JOSH`kor's birthday.
7th June.. back from Mount Kinabalu trip.
8th June.. let me recover from trip can? lol.. BREAK TIME.
9th June.. movie. CHARIS BIRTHDAY~ Most likely watching 'Night at the Museum 2' with Charis and Jessica. AND GLADYS BIRTHDAY!!! DAMN IT!?!? HOW??!?!
10th June. Bowling with Charis and Jessica.
Yup..this is the new updated schedule.. ppl that are planning to ask me to other stuff.. don't clash PLEASE??? Lol.. oh yeah.. not sure if got ncc and netball.. lol...
Hmm.. daddy today exam again. For? MASTER DEGREE.. can die sia.. his books.. like.. Chemistry and Physics textbook add together?!?! Wth.. lol.. so more EVERYTHING WORDS and DIAGRAMS.. BLEH~ Boring.. lol. Good luck daddy! JIAYOU JIAYOU!
Anyway.. 9 June.. Charis and Gladys birthdays.. both clash. Then.. Qing planning something for part Bs on 9 June to celebrate Gladys birthday. HOW?! Damn it.. gah. nvr mind.. i'll figure something out..
Today.. i sleep ..sleep.. and SLEEP SOMEMORE. Why? REALITY SUX.. DREAMS RAWKS! Okay.. yeah. Good enough reason? I sleep till 4pm. Believe? Lol XD .. yes, i know i'm a pig. GET USE TO IT!! LOL. Hmm.. sleeping rawks.. don't need to care about anything.. moving on. I didn't do e learning.. bleh~ I'll catch up tmr.
e-learning = SCHOOL including WEEKENDS!
NO FAIR!.. anyway.. next week.. results gonna be release le :S DIE DIE DIE.
Oh yeah..
to BK: My post long long long.. cuz got many many many things to say(: Hehe.. it's to make ppl lose interest... cuz blog for me to vent anger on(: Haha :D But somehow u read EVERYTHING?! Are your eyes pain?? Aww.. poor kor.. lol.. jie will kiss it to make it better:X I'm gonna die for that? Aren't i? Lol :X Haha!! Oh yeah.. one more thing.. STOP PLAYING DISAPPEARING ACT.. YOU'RE SCARING ME!
to DK: Eh.. kor. Still wanna silent treatment me arh? haiz.. nvr mind.. Sorry.. sorry ..sorry.. if saying a million sorry(s) can make things better.. i'll say it.. but seems that it isn't working. So yeah.. no idea if u received the card since i didn't pass it to u personally.. and i don't know if u kept or threw it away.. but i hope u read it.. every single word in that card means something. Okay.. i know i hurt you alot by my actions... i'm really sorry okay?.. i'm stopping.. i really am. We became god bro-sis.. then i broke tie with u.. then we .. came back together as god bro-sis.. yeah.. i know when i broke tie with u then.. u felt like crap? I'm SORRY.. Really really am.. what more do u want me to say. You're his brother for life.. i avoided him then.. in the process.. avoiding u. DUI BU QI LAH...
Yup.. that's all.. talk to u whenever.. bye.. take care.
to Wan Zhen: YOU CRY, YOU DIE. Hehe XD
to Gladys: BIRTHDAY?!? DAMN!! GO OUT?? Want?? Lol.. haiz.. everything clashing.. gladys.. HELP!!.. wait.. do u even read my blog? hehe. I donno.. cuz i nvr see u tag often..
to Celine: ... you better stop.. stop crying cuz of the cold war. Damn it.. u're not even involve.. why cry?! Tsk.. lol. During the trip.. he will take care of u de.. hehe XD
~End post~
The way to find out if you love someone or not, is by talking to them. The more you talk to them the more you either hate them or love them.
It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so.
Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything back together.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Plans for now..
5/15/2009 07:30:00 PM23 May.. going out to East Coast Park with Ying and Ni Ming ge ge.. My cousins.
29 May.. MAYBELLINE'S BIRTHDAY.. How?? HOW?!?!
1st June.. Eating with Fanna and Celine`mei.
2nd June.. Farewell(5 days only) meal with Xinle(: For Mount KK trip..
3rd June.. Prefect camp.
4th June.. going out of prefect camp early. For MOUNT KINABALU TRIP! Wee!! And JOSH`kor's birthday.. celebrating with who wor? *wink wink* :P
7th June.. back from Mount Kinabalu trip.
8th June.. let me recover from trip can? lol.. BREAK TIME.
9th June.. movie. CHARIS BIRTHDAY~ Most likely watching 'Night at the Museum 2' with Charis and Jessica. AND GLADYS BIRTHDAY!!! DAMN IT!?!? HOW??!?!
10th June. Bowling with Charis and Jessica.
That's all for now(: This is the updated schedule.. wee~
Wondering if Agnes, Guiting, Louisse`kor, Josh`kor, Anna, Wan Zhen, Mardiah, Nasyitah, Hannah, Wan Qing, Cynthia, Aisyah, Vivien, Maybelline, Gladys and others wanna go out..
exams are finally over.. LONG LONG POST
5/15/2009 04:44:00 PMAlright, exams have finally ended and I’m sure I’m going to fail many subjects cause.. I totally couldn't focus when studying.
During this period, I thought of a lot of things.
Why think so much? Right?
Most of you will be thinking, "think so much for what? Make yourself emo emo.. wanna cry.. sad sad.. miserable.. STOP THINKING!! You're going to kill yourself in the process!" Right? .. lol..
No.. I'm not gonna kill myself. It's not worth it. I saw enough blood. Gonna stop.. I’m happy (: And I’m not going back to it.. well.. I’m trying not to?
Oh yeah, back to why think so much.. Well.. I have to thank YR, Louisse`kor, Josh`kor, B, MR QUEK (yes, I know.. shocking.. I’ll explain later), Mr Chun(HAHA) and other friends for this.
Alright.. so.. I saw YR with his girl. Nice sight..
Followed by Nas slashing in front of me?!?! WTF! Okay.. After that, everything went bloody.. Yuk.
Okay.. Me and Nas.. CRAZY.
Yup.. then stop.. Nas look pale after that.
Moving on.. YR was with his girl at BK.. nice.. I just keep quiet.. Yup. Wadever.
Thank him for letting me think more about it.
Then.. Louisse`kor? He made me think.. Cuz he silent treatment me again. Wth lah.. Whatever. GAH~! Alright.. He silent treatment me for 1 week already. Uhmm.. Sadded. I gotta prove to him that I’m gonna stop manipulating myself. Thanks DK.
Josh`kor.. for just being there.. And nagging.. And lecturing.. And worrying.. And his ridiculous whacking. Ouch.. Lol. He pour water on me sia.. what the hell.. BULLY!! Lol XD. Okay.. he made me think too. Thanks BK.
Mr B is a good friend.. really good friend.. no, not my boyfriend( u ppl are crazy if u’re thinking that ). He is also.. my listening ear! Lol. He is there for me.. through sms.. haha XD. SMS SMS SMS! Okay.. thank you Mr B.. I’ll get over him.. soon enough.
Mr Quek.. hehe.. he lecture me on studying? Lol.. so funny lah.. but he still very scary.
Mr Chun.. talk alot .. haha.. but very fun.
Other friends.. smacking.. whacking.. lecturing.. and other stuff.. lol.
Alright.. yeah.. that part.. i'll end here
Anyway.. my cousins came over last week.. here are.. PICTURES.. ALOT OF PICTURES..
HELLO !!
Hello kitty!! HAHA
Fashion show wor?
ACT CUTE !! 
SO BIG! 
FISHY 
keep smiling.. everything will be fine.
Yo yo!
Peace!! My hand pain.. lol..
When did Marriott become so tall??
BLURR Blurr image
Can u believe they just met? 
Japanese Crispy Chicken!! 
NO FAIR.. i want.. 
I want eat ice cream.. 
PUDDING! 
EWW! ACT CUTE!! Lol.. wait.. is that a scissors?!?! 
act cute! .. HOR!! PLAY WITH SCISSORS! 
i'm gonna kill u
cannot open 
WHY SO HARD TO OPEN!! 
Mummy! 
Cousins 
Cousins 
COUSINS 
My mother 
PEACE~
Ermm.. i look like crap.. wadever.. haha XD.. my cousins! Yellow from Father's side.. Pink from mother's side.. haha 
Featuring.. the one sleeping behind! Lol.. 
Blurr 
I can see u.. 
hi!! 
Blue blue sky? Or isit black black sky 
What's that silver thing? It's golf things! .. GOLF RAWKS 
poke poke! 
pose some more.. tsk.. 
Eat so much.. 
HOT! SMOKING HOT!!.. the chicken hot. 
GREEDY! 
CHICKEN! .. no.. i'm not saying my cousin.. i'm saying what she's eating. 
Daddy's golf stuff.. i like golf(: 
Look at that dirty blue thingy.. lol.. 
Fishy!! Lol.. 
Marriott: MINE!! Stay away i tell u!! Lol.. 
UNGLAM..ewww 
Look at me for what? Go away! 
Blurr shot 
ACT CUTE!! 
Look.. egg! look medicine! Look.. drink! Look!! MY CRAZY COUSIN( Ying Ying jie jie )! 
FOOD!! 
I recycle okay!! For ncc only.. hahaXD. MOUNT KINABALU!! WEE!!~ 
My parents 
Smile! 
Closer than ever 
Marriott extra:P jkjk 
A small family of 3
SMILE for the cam! 
Mummy, Cousin marriott and me! 
MARRIOTT ACT CUTE!! :P 
Cousins, yes.. my eyes were swollen and red.. don't ask why
Featuring fishy! 
Daddy is proud of his fishAlright.. enough pictures.. haha XD.. that was ALOT of pictures.. Netball coach wants me back for training. But i cannot play for competitions bah.. cuz i'm offically not in the team.. although i'm still part of it(: Yeah.. i will be going back for training(: But not always. Netballers, please don't kill me.. that includes the seniors.. Hmm.. today is E learning day.. i don't feel like doing.. wadever.. maybe later. Oh yeah.. Yesterday(:
Yesterday went to Jurong Point with Jessica, Charis, Ebel, Celine`Mei and Syafiqa(junior).. watch seventeen again!! Lol.. ZAC EFRON SO HOT! Lol.. then.. while queuing for snacks.. Weiting came.. saw me.. and smack my bag? Wth? Lol.. then i ask him what he watching.. he tell me he donno.. his friend buy tickets de. Wth. Then went into the Cinema. Guess what.. Alan was there... lol.. he said hi to me.. wasn't expecting that.. I thought he forgotten me. Weiting and company were sitting behind. My friends and i were sitting at the 3rd last row.. 3rd last, 2nd last and last were filled with BBSSIANs.. Lol.. 2nd and last is .. Alan, Weiting and company. Show started.. skip skip skip.. then ended.Lol.. went to eat.. Ebel didn't eat anything. Celine and Syafiqa went back to school for badminton training. Jessica, Charis and me.. eat lunch. Before buying food.. Alan they all pass by.. Then that crazy guy shouted to me..Alan: *sound sound* *sound sound* .. PEI SAN! ..
Pei San: Huh?! What?
Alan: The show nice?? *grabbing on Zhen Lin's bag
Pei San: Okay lah..
Alan: Okay!! BYE BYE!
Pei San: Crazy..Okay.. Alan watched this show like.. twice? or more?? Donno.. lol.. eat le.. then go home lor(:
Oh yeah.. Josh`kor.. eh.. mind explaining that shocking msg.. and where were you?!?! Got camera isit?!?! WHERE?! How you know de!! Lol.. okay.. done.Hmm..23 May.. going out with Ying and Ni Ming ge ge .. My cousins.
2nd June.. Farewell meal with Xinle(: For Mount KK trip..3rd June.. Prefect camp.
4th June.. going out of prefect camp early. For MOUNT KINABALU TRIP! Wee!! And Josh`kor's birthday.. celebrating with who wor? *wink wink* :P7th June.. back from trip.
9th June.. movie. CHARIS BIRTHDAY~
10th June. Bowling with Charis and Jessica.Yup.. that's my plans for now.. Wondering if Agnes, Guiting, Anna, Wan Zhen, Vivien, Cynthia, Wan Qing, Aisyah, Celine, Josh, Louisse, Nurul Mardiah all these wanna go out anot.. haha.. nvr ask yet :X
~End post~If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.
Sometimes you have to let go of the one you love to find out if there is really something there.Knowledge talks, wisdom listens. Only the wisest and the stupidest of men never change.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
reply to ------ ----
5/05/2009 09:11:00 PMIt might look like nothing when i curse him or say some stupid stuff such as i hate him. Cause i know deep inside.. that i don't hate him at all.. But i hate myself for losing him. And if you think i just lost a god brother.. u're very wrong girl. Nvr mind.. You're gonna regret it.. you're gonna regret slashing.. i most likely gonna get throw into counselling if i go back to slashing.. gah! ------ ----!! You are gonna regret this... i'm gonna make ur life so miserable. And i cannot go back to slashing.. i'm trying my best not to. But with people around me slashing.. i don't know how much i can last.. GAH!!!! Damn it.. i miss him so damn much. And since i can't get over him after so long.. i guess i can finally say that i am .. in .. love with him..?? Okay.. that was so wrong.. I so did not like him then.. But now? My heart hurts.. it damn hell hurts.
pls.. don't
5/05/2009 08:38:00 PMWhy?? Why?? Why are you so silly? Is it my fault? Are you getting influence by me?
Don't slash.. you'll get addicted to it.
I know that it takes away the pain inside and both of us are the kind of girls that would rather see our blood than tears.
But i ask you this.. is it really worth?
Why?? Tell me why?
I know that my foolishness is influencing you.
Yes.. but don't.
Stop it.. NOW.. before u get addicted to slashing. I mean it.. It's a struggle.
Don't believe? I'm a damn living example.
Yeah.. to us.. blood might look better than tears. But.. is it really worth it?
Red blood cell come out.. got what use? Make me weaker.. make u weaker.. Mentally and physically. And those idiots will not come back.. nothing will be solved.. it just takes away the pain inside..
Don't slash.. if you do.. i'll go back to it..
I already saw 1 person slash.. and now another one is appearing.. and you also?
That makes a total of 4 person including myself.
Nas has stopped.. i'm glad.
I'm trying to stop.. but today? I saw S using a metal ruler to do it herself.. my reaction? Take out a penknife.. Yes.. the penknife was in my pocket.
Wadever.. i'm trying to stop.. so friends.. can u ppl not go to slashing?
Cuz when i see people about to slash.. i will have the urge to slit. I MEAN IT!! H!! You stupid durian!! You BETTER NOT SLASH OR I WILL GO BACK TO IT!!! ... Yup.. that's all.
This is to make Nurul Mardiah happy(: Lol XD
okay.. we were totally sweating but yeah.. i love this picture. haha XD 
It's pay back time Agnes.. lol.. She torture me so long.. so my turn. But got caught.. by Calvin.. tsk tsk.. use phone in Home Eco.. Haha.
Anyway, Mr DK needs to know what's called TAGGING. And not reading then leaving. Everytime read but till now.. NO TAG. BLEH!! Lol.. Okay.. he thought that DK is DONKEY KING... Ermm.. okay. Okay.. he's a donkey.. a silly donkey. King? King.. lol.. wonder who's the queen. Hmm.. okay. Apparently.. DONKEY KING reads my blog often and i think at least twice a week or everyday? Wadever lah.. but he hor.. tsk tsk. Nvr mind.. Yup.. enough crapping.. lol..
Today, english paper. Paper 1 was fine... i just kept on writing but i don't know what i wrote. Lol XD. Paper 2.. not good.. i dream for really long time.. and didn't check my work at all :S Haiz...
Early morning.. waited for long time before entering the school just like yesterday. Sat at canteen, Vivien keep saying she wanna go classroom.
Didn't listen... then after that she said: " Here he comes.. " Then we all turn.. then i was going where where? who who? Then saw.. then i said the f word :X
Then.. still didn't wanna go up.. saw him again.. then i said the f word again.. followed by: " LETS GO.. NOW!! GO GO GO!! " Then Vivien laughed.. haha XD So cute lah.
Okay.. then after exam. At canteen.. Jessica saw the penknife inside my pocket. Then she go tell Vivien, Calvin and company. Stuff that happened next.. was expected. Calvin, Jessica and donno who grabbed on to me while Vivien dig the penknife out of my pocket.. seems so so so weird. And now.. i still donno where is my penknife. Okay.. explaination.. I WASN'T TRYING TO SLASH. AGNES TOOK MY PENKNIFE BEFORE EXAM.. I FORGOT TO PUT IT IN MY PENCIL CASE AFTER TAKING IT BACK THUS IT WAS IN MY POCKET. Lol ... okay.. Then.. Physics class. Shouldn't have go..
Hannah took Junn Yiow's phone and JY went to Hannah to get back the phone.. Then ppl started going ' WOAH!!! '..
Then Mr Goh said: Junn Yiow! What you doing? You people arh.. wanna do stuff.. do behind a close door!
Then everyone was laughing.. then Mr Goh said Hannah have bad taste. Lol XD.. All Junn Yiow did was try taking the phone back from hannah but both hands were around Hannah like hugging. HAHA! But they were so not hugging lah.. lol. Reminded me of him.. yeah.. i took his phone.. he did the same.. ermm.. yeah.. just.. closer.. nvr mind. Wadever.
After that.. 1pm. Wanted to eat with Hannah. Hannah said okay then she called her mother while i was talking to others. Then ended up eating with Hannah and her mother. And mother looks so young. Lol XD. So cute lah.. lol. Before eating.. her mother said: " Thank god for the food that we are having now and thank god for Pei San being able to join us for lunch today.. amen " or something like that. So cute lah.. haha. XD Okay.. then after eating.. went to popular with them.. Bukit Timah Plaza. After that.. went home myself. Could take the bus.. but somehow.. didn't. I walked home from there. Nice walk actually.. Much time for thinking, emoing and crying.. wadsoever. Better than slashing(: Lol.. Oh yeah.. talking about slashing.. i wrote this line in my composition in paper 1. " Some people get too stress up thus they slit their wrist. " Lol.. the topic i wrote on was.. " WATCHING TELEVISION IS A WASTE OF TIME" DO YOU AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT? Haha XD.. No.. i disagree. It's not a waste of time... Okay.. i'm done posting. Tata!
~End post~
Never regret something that once made you smile.
Yes, the past can hurt but the way I see it i can either run from it or learn from it.
I'm not regretting anything, because at one point i wanted it that way.
I can't blame anyone else but myself for the things that happen to me and the things that happen to the people around me. So yeah.. put the blame on me.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Okay.. i'll call this person Mr DK. Mr DK is a really nice guy. He has a lot of friends. He has many god sisters yet has too little time. In real life.. he's awesome. In msn and sms.. he makes me wanna sleep. In real life.. i meet him like.. not enough once a week. Wadever. Mr DK.. is a bestie of mine.. appears to be a really pathetic bestie yeah? Lol.. yeah. Will nvr ask him out to eat alone nor go out to study cuz it will be weird.. so yeah. Mr DK needs to learn how to show care.. so i can't see any. Wadever.. nvr mind. Thank you to him for lending me his shoulder to cry on that day. And sorry that i broke the 'promise' and did something that he hate thus making him give me a little 'lesson'. Okay.. wadever.. i'll end Mr DK stuff here.
Q is a friend.. a really really really good friend.. my best friend in fact. Known her in p3 although she knew my name in p2. Was really cute.. i still remembered that way we started talking.
Q: Hi, you're Pei San right?
Me: Ermm.. yeah. Hi. You are?
Q: --- ----! (: Actually right.. i know u in p2!
Me: Huh? How?
Q: That time i pass by ur class.................blablabla..
Okay.. p2 kids.. lol. I love the way that happened. It was so innocent. And it was so fun while it lasted. I don't want it to end.. p2 to sec 2 already. I never want this friendship to end. But it looks like it has already ended in a way.. now.. we're just friends? Are we? I don't wanna be JUST friends... i wanna be best friends..
~End post~
You're a true friend
You're here till the end
You pull me aside
When something ain't right
Talk with me now and into the night
Till it's alright again
You're a true friend..
That's the you i use to know and want. Be it benefits or negative stuff... i wanna be there together with you. Boys or wadever so ever.. i hope none of it will break this friendship apart. One word.. CHANGE. That's all you have to say? People change.. i changed.. u changed too.. But it doesn't mean that these changes will break this friendship apart. And i don't want it to break this friendship.
Today.. HCL paper. Byebye.. fail le lah.. wadever. GRR! Next year i should not be taking higher chinese already. Okay.. anyway, i just saw Fanna's blog. Ermm.. yeah.. saw pictures.. and saw a couple. Okay.. ermm.. shouldn't have read her blog, but never mind. Reason? Obvious lot.. memories.
Morning.. before going classroom, went to Celine`mei's class. While passing by canteen, saw YR.. ermm yeah.. i wanted to scream. I have no idea why also. Alright.. so did not felt good. Xinle said my eye sight is good. Ermm.. haha? Mei greeted me with a hug. Then yeah.. i wished her good luck and went off with my friends waiting at the stairs. Took the paper.. and came out saying damn it. Lol XD. Yeah.. gonna fail. Compo 500++ words needed, but i only wrote 300+
Ermm, yeah. Paper 2.. not good also. Don't wanna talk about it. I gotta stop day dreaming during papers. Keep wanting to sleep. Lol :X
Anyway, yesterday i went to visit my aunt. She's a nurse. She's always talking about hygiene and stuff. But now? She's down with cancer. Last stage already. Alright.. i felt like crap cause i couldn't do anything to help. Her voice use to be really loud and she would usually be asking me how's my studies. But yesterday, she talked like.. a mouse? And her voice sounds.. ermm.. sick? From her voice, can already hear that she is sick. Haiz.. Ironic. But like someone said.. she didn't choose to be like that.. she is just down with it. Look on the brighter side, she still has a chance of recovering. It's never too late nor is it too early. Alright, i promised that person i will study hard for sa2. But sa1 is screwed, that's for sure :S
Okay.. people have been threatening me with Mr Thomas Ong.. but i don't think i need that anymore. I got enough counselling from my friends and my cousin. Xinle and company will keep going: " STOP IT!! STOP IT!! " Then i'll get smacked. Okay.. Qing actually made a post about it... which made me kinda glad as she still cares.. i think? Okay.. yesterday night.. 11pm+ Ni Ming kor kor(cousin) called me. Ermm.. yeah.. i got counselling from him. He's 4 years older than me.. what can i say. Okay.. i cried while talking to him but i don't think he can hear it. Cried like crap.
A LITTLE stuff he said was: I don't know how much of this u're listening to. And i don't know how much of this is getting into you. But slashing will not help anything. My friends have slash too.. and how many had something to benefit from it? NONE. You use to be the one in the family that grabs trouble by it's horn. The more you cut, the more addicted you're gonna get to it. For now, i only can ask for you to stop cutting.. Blablablablabla..
Starting of conversation, i kept going yeah yeah yeah... but soon went Mmmmhmm. When i started going Mmmmhmm.. i was crying. Lol.. Okay.. I CAN'T BELIEVE MY COUSIN MADE ME CRIED!! Lol.. Yeah. Nice talk. Lasted 20min and he said it was a short one as he was not in the best of mind. Dude is in VJC.. so ..very tiring.
Okay.. someone told me this: " Crying is better than slashing.. but smiling is the best of all." So yeah.. i have stopped. People, stop giving me counselling. Caring people like mr J, mr B and blablabla.
Tomorrow, english paper.. ahh. Okay.. good luck to one and all. And may people who worked hard for it get good results.. ( definitely not me )
Okay.. i know my post are all very WORDY and LONG. But i'm doing it on purpose :P
Why? I don't want people to comment on my post. Besides.. it's all just my feelings. Oh yeah.. and thanks to a few that will actually read my post. People that can actually read the WHOLE DAMN THING. Like.. Hannah, Gladys, Celine`Mei and such.
Okay.. i don't blame you for being cruel. Cause i know it's not ur fault or is it? But i can tell you this.. i really hate you alot for being that cruel. Maybe it's my fault? But i still have to thank you for being there for me. If i have a choice, i will still choose to be your god sister. It was really interesting to see someone cry over a girl that way. Okay.. maybe i'm being sadistic. But yeah.. then.. i will feel horrible and will try very hard to stop those tears of urs from coming down. But now? I wanna see those tears.. i wanna see you cry so bad. Cause i can tell u that the hurt u caused on me.. is alot more than what i can take. And i can't handle it well. Thanks for the memories. Wadever.. may ur life to fantastic and hope u're happy a blast. With whatever and whoever.. May u get fantastic results for ur O levels this year. Sayonara sucker.
Give me time people.. time will not heal my wound.. but it will stop me from adding more wound. Okay.. give me till.. after Mount Kinabalu trip? I wanna go there.. relax.. get a fantastic experience. I hope the trip is not cancelled due to swine flu.. haiz.
~End post~
Sometimes you just gotta let it go.. let it flow away like the flowing river.
What's yours will come back to u once again. What's not urs.. will not remain even if you want it to.. so just let it go.
Nothing can be solved from doing silly stuff.. but sometimes.. those silly stuff just seem so right to do.. at that moment of time..
I miss the person i thought was him.. but never mind.. may those memories die.. go away.. and get lost from my mind.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
To Qing.. best friend
5/02/2009 05:38:00 PMOkay.. maybe it's just me.. but i seriously think i'm losing my best friend.
We never seem to quarrel in primary school but when we reach secondary school.. we seem to have a annual quarrel thing going on. Some of which brings us closer together.. but recent ones just breaking us apart. Now.. when i talk to her.. she doesn't even look at me. Like.. WTF? So what.. me having more friends doesn't mean i don't care about her anymore.. Last movie together? COFFIN. Last time we had a proper face to face chat? My birthday last year. Like.. WTF.. Nothing seems to be going right. Whatever. I just wish everything will go back to normal asap before something stupid happens again. And no.. i don't mean slashing. I think.. gah.. wadever. SICK AND TIRED. DAMN TIRED OF LIVING AND BLOODY SCARED OF DYING. How? All my results dropping.. last year overall 63 in level i think.. this year? I donno.. Wadever.
When was the last time i had fun with you? I don't know.
If you can still remember.. we made a promise in sec 1.. a promise that should not be broken. Saying that we will work TOGETHER towards our usm dream. Be it u or me who gets that position, the other person will be happy and has to treat the one that becomes usm to a movie treat. I hope u have not forget that.. cause i have not.
And if u think i have forgotten about u.. u're so wrong. Cuz i still have this in my friendster..
"Wan Qing and Me!!
Anytime u wish to see me..ask me out
Best friends since young
Cannot think of how my life will be if i have not met u
Dreaming of the times we have been through
Everytime i'm sad..u know wad to do
Fun times
Going to some random place with u!
Having a blast
I crap alot with you
Jogging is not ur game
Kayaking is one of our favourite
Love SLACKING!
Moments to treasure
Nothing is impossible if we put our hearts to it
O level is something we don't look forward to...
Positive thinking is not our style most of the time
QQ is ur nick name!
Reaching for our dreams( USM RANK! RAWR!! Haha XD )
Striving to get what we want all the time
Talking crap is something we enjoy doing
U are my best friend
Vent our angry on each other sometimes
Whenever i am feeling low, u know what to do
X-treme!
Youth is what we still have in our grip
Zzz is the way i usually am when i have nothing to do
I managed to state from A to Z the way u and I am…LOL!"
~End post~
I want this friendship to remain.. i wish u want it too.
crapping
5/02/2009 02:12:00 PMGuess what.. 'punishment' from Josh Lim Shi Yuan`kor hasn't even start yet!! Grrr... 1 month leh!! WAHLAO A!! Only when my hand fully recovers...then the 1 month will start. LIkE WTH! Very long you know... Haiz. Never mind.. I guess i deserve it. Wadever. Lalalalalalala.. i can't focus.. i wanna sleep.. till now i still didn't start studying yet. Okay.. nvr mind.. i think i'm gonna fail. Byebye express class.. i think i dropping to NA class already. Okay..wadever.
Swine Flu.. stupid thing.. if Mount Kinabalu trip gets cancelled because of it.. i'm gonna scream. See doctor for the form.. $30++ .. i can buy a book that i want for that amount of money. GRR!! Prefect camp clashes with Mount Kinabalu trip.. so yeah. Most likely i will go on 3rd june for the camp.. then leave before sun rises on 4th june for Mount Kinabalu trip. So looking forward to that(:
I miss my darling netball team.. gah... okay. I might not offically be in the team already.. but i'm still part of that team. Will go back to see them train soon(:
Part Bs'09 nccSEA.. okay.. i want ncc training again!! Lol XD. Alright.. i think that part Bs bond so much more last year.. and mostly was because of camp? Lol XD. WAI LEONG! Part Bs.. ahh.. can we bond more? I'm so sick of seeing a distance between each other. Part Bs.. next year.. our turn to take over unit already. Jiayou jiayou(: May all of us get the rank we deserve and want(:
Ermm.. and yeah. I'm gonna quit slashing before someone throw me into counselling. And the next line is to humour Josh. I LOVE MYSELF AND I WILL NOT MANIPULATE MYSELF. Okay.. Done.
~ End post ~
In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you just do.
How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?
All that stupid fun, all the shit we have done. Where did all those good times go?
All in all, I have no regrets. The sun still shines, the sun still sets. The heart forgives, the heart forgets. One more kiss, even though it has come to this. I'll close my eyes and make a wish... hoping you'll remember.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Thoughts.. quotes.. memories..
5/01/2009 05:03:00 PMEverybody around me knows that something's wrong but nobody knows what's going on so don't hold strong opinions about things you don't understand.
The worst feeling in the world is knowing you've been used and lied to.
This isn't a perfect world. People do get hurt. I smile when I feel like crying. I act like I’m ok, when I’m falling apart inside. I try to let go, I try to move on, because I know there's nothing else I can do.
You're the one who broke my heart, you're the reason my world fell apart, you're the one who made me cry, yet I'm still miss you and I don't know why.
Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because i can't make it right. Sad because I miss you day and night. Angry because you don’t understand how I feel. Disappointed because I thought you knew me better than this.
Every time I see him all cool, calm and collected, I lose my breath, my heart starts pounding, and I am painfully aware that I am not over him and he is over me.
Sometime you just have to hold your head up high, blink away the tears and say good-bye.
Alright.. as if my life isn't miserable enough. My bestie is angry with me. What the hell. Fine.. so be it.. i can't do anything. Xinle can be angry all she wants.. and i can do wadever i want. Done.
~End post~
I thank you for those times.. I thank you for the memories. I thank you for the time you been there for me. And i thank you for letting me know that there's a soft side of me.
Alright.. lets just say many things have been going on. 4 days already.. okay? I didn't cut for 4 days. Give me a break.
Why stop? Friends.. well i hope i will not go back to it.. but i still have the urge to. Okay, nvr mind.. silent treatment from Louisse`kor cause he wants me to stop. It worked.. i stopped. And now.. i'm still getting 'punished' by Josh`kor.. what the hell lah. 1 month leh!
Well... I don't know if i'm losing my friend.. best friends since young? Is that enough to maintain the friendship? I don't know. I'm like getting attitude from her. For what? I don't know. I admit.. i don't have much time with her other than ncc. But it's not like she has time for me. When was the last time we watched a show together.. lets see.. last year... coffin movie. Alright.. i'm like losing my best friend.
Besides that.. i'm still not over it. I admit .. i cannot forget. I can't move on. I can't find someone better than him. No one else was there when i need someone there... it wasn't love. It was never love. I don't love him. He doesn't love me. It's not love. I just miss those times he was there alright? He was like.. the bestest male friend ever? Wadever. I can't forget. And maybe now i'm starting to love him? Nah.. i don't think so.. i just want things to go back like they were.
Wadever.. Slash cause of one person when there's so many others caring for me? .. i don't understand why.. but i just did it. Anyway.. the wounds are healing. Lol XD. I don't miss him.. i miss the person i thought was him.
And.. SAKAE SUSHI RAWKS. Lol..
Anyway..
Xinle is angry with me? For a stupid reason.. yeah.. okay .. never mind. I'll just let her be. I can't do anything anyway.
Vivien.. never there anymore.
Wan Qing.. almost gone.
Cynthia.. still there as usual(:
Celine`mei.. making me worried about her.
Wan Zhen.. haiya.. i donno what to say lah. She got enough friends by her side.
Anna.. first friend i met in class.. lol. Awesome as usual.
Charis.. smart as usual.
Jessica.. NOISY.. lol. Funny..
Shahrun.. ermm.. lol.. crazy.
Junn Yiow.. ermm.. hope he's alright already.
Josh`kor.. still angry with me for slashing.
Lou`kor.. don't want me to slash again.. and.. he needs to learn how to show care.
Yi Ren.. no improvement. Not friends anymore i guess.. just.. worst than strangers. Never mind.. he will be gone next year. I guess .. that will be good.. he wouldn't have to see my face again.
Agnes.. complicated. I never know what she thinks of me.. haiz.
Bao Xiu.. smart. Funny.. yet complicated.
CheanPin`jie.. caring(:
Jessie.. scary. Awesome. Smart..
Nasyitah.. lol. Awesome runner.
Crystal`mei.. hmm.. smart little girl.
Aisyah.. ermm .. i donno? I just feel that i'm not there for her anymore. I hope i'm .. wrong about that feeling.
Syaza.. HEROINE. Lol.. she rawks.
Guiting.. MOVIE.. i wanna go again.
Hannah.. Fellow DURIAN :P Only ppl that read my definition of durian will understand.
Fanna.. Dear friend. Louisse's god sister also. Cute girl.. lol. Happy happy girl..
Nurul Mardiah.. My darling bestie.. omgosh.. i can tell her like anything and i can always count on her to be there for me(:
Haqiz`sir. He's.. weird. Lol XD. He rawks so much!
Burhan.. super caring. Super ..quiet in real life.. noisy in front of his peers. fellow DURIAN. Lol XD.
If you want me to add u inside.. just ask. _____________________________________________________________________ 
This is my geography book.. lol. Colourful right? So fun highlighting.. haha XD. Studying myself is better than waiting to understand Mr Liu's lesson.. HAIZ. Lol.. He is .. so crazy about NPCC.
Oh yeah.. i'm gonna fail alot of stuff during SA1. Don't believe? Ask my friends.. i'm always thinking about stuff during class.. wadever. Lol.
My heart hurts.. yeah.. but what can i do? Nothing.. i'm painfully aware that he moved on and got another replacement but i have not.. whatever. I'm really tired of living but scared of dying. I don't necessarily want to be happy; I just want to stop feeling miserable. I'm use to all the tears.. and the pain i caused to myself. wadever.. I'll fake all the smiles, if it stops all the questions but behind this innocent smile of mine, lay words left unsaid. Words of longing, love, anger, and hate, all repeated inside my head.
Alright.. i miss KAYAKING!! I miss NCC .. I miss PART Bs..
I miss all sea activitives.. i miss the sea..
~End post~
The only thing worse then being hated is being ignored. At least when they hate you they treat you like you exist.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Quiz tagged by Celine`mei
4/27/2009 10:56:00 PM1) Name a friend from A-Z .
A - Aisyah (sea babe aka bestie)
B - Bao Xiu (netballer)
C - Celine`mei (junior)
D - Darryl (Ex)
E - Elizabeth (Neighbour)
F - Fanna (crazy good friend)
G - Guiting (netballer aka bestie)
H - Hannah (new classmate)
I - Iman (senior)
J - Josh`kor (senior)
K - Kelway`daddy
L - Louisse`kor (senior)
M - Mardiah darling bestie (senior)
N - Nasyitah (sea babe aka bestie)
O -
P -
Q -
R - Rafaila (senior)
S - Salman`bro (senior)
T - Tim (npcc guy)
U -
V - Vivien (bestie)
W - Wan Qing (bestie)
X - Xinle (netballer aka bestie)
Y - Yi Ren (ex god bro)
Z - Zanny
2) Can S & H be together in a BGR?
Salman and Haziq
Ermm.. i think they are close enough already.. and.. both of guys.
3) How is L related to you?
Louisse
God-siblings, he's my darling kor kor.
4) Does X know W?
Xinle, Wan Qing
Should be bah.. lol
5) If G betrays you will you kill him/her?
Guiting will nvr betray me. She rawks(:
6) If X steals your girlfriend/boyfriend what will you do?
Xinle
I'll laugh all about it.. cry all about it and then say she has good taste.
7) What if Z tells you he/she has a crush on you?
Zanny aka Wan Zhen
Ermm.. who cares. She will not tell me.
8) Will you and N gets into a fight?
Nasyitah? And me? Fight? Nah.. doubt so.
9) Who does N have a crush on?
NASYITAH LOVES NAZIRUL!! Known by the whole wide world.. lol
10) If X calls you a bitch,what will you do?
Xinle
Laugh then call her a bitch also lor.. we always call each other bitch for no reason wad.. lol.. friends joke(:
11) What is the relationship between you and W?
Wan Qing and me
Best friends since young
12) Who does Z like?
Name.. don't wanna say.. i can't be bothered.
13) Who is L's best friend?
Louisse
Tay Yi Ren if i'm not wrong.. They are.. BROTHERS FOR LIFE.. yeah..
14) What color does Y like?
Yi Ren
I forgot.. i'm trying to forget everything here.. so don't remind me.. it was blue or something.. wadever
5) Where does F lives ?
Eh.. i not stalker.. i donno.
16) Did you and B had a fight before?
BaoXiu
Eh.. i think so? Quarrel or something.. forgot le.
17) Who is K best friend?
Kelway
Ermm.. i donno
18) What can you say about P?
-------------------------
19) What if J tells you he/she has a crush on you?
Josh`kor already has a girlfriend.. he will nvr betray her.. (: CHEANPIN JIE RAWKS
20) Tag 10people to do this quiz
CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO DO THIS.
Song lyrics..
4/27/2009 10:40:00 PMLyrics of My Love by Westlife
An empty street, an empty house
A hole inside my heart
I'm all alone, the rooms are getting smaller.
I wonder how, I wonder why, I wonder where they are
The days we had, the songs we sang together.(oh yeah)
And all my love, I'm holding on forever
Reaching for the love that seems so far
[Chorus:]So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams
will take me there
Where the skies are blue, to see you once again... my love.
All the seas from coast to coast
To find the place I Love T
